David:
The name of your condition is pseudofolliculitis barbae. The cure is not to shave. Obviouwsly, for some people, growing a beard is not an option. Nowadays there is an alternative: laser hair thinning or removal. Even if this simple and safe procedure doesn't eliminate your hair altogether -- and i assume you wouldn't want it to anyway -- it can thin it out so you won't have to shave as often, and the thinner hairs will irritate les anyway.
Success generally takes 3-5 treatments given at 4-6 week intervals. Insurance usually does not cover this, even with a medical diagnosis. Cost is in the $2-300 range (per treatment), though it may be less in your area.
Given your predicament, you may want to check this out with a local dermatologist. There are several good lasers available.
Best.
Dr. Rockoff