Worry

4 years ago I ended a relationship with a woman who had herpes.  I wore a condom regulary, but as we got closer, she took medication and we had unprotected sex a few times.  She was good about telling me if she felt an outbreak and we avoided sex.  Now I really like someone and am terrified I have herpes even though I've never experienced any symptoms.  My doctor continues to evaluate occasional rashes and reassure me that there is nothing to worry about.  But occasionally, I get a very tiny red break in the skin on my penis and the area tingles.  I can usually relate it to friction.  Once, after some rough dry masturbating, it broke quite a bit and scabbed for a couple days.  I just need reassurance that this is not herpes.

[Alan Rockoff, MD]

It certainly doesn't sound like herpes.  It sounds like friction.  It's true that you can contract herpes even if a partner isn't having an attack, but the risk is small for each contact.  In any case, it doesn't sound as though you've ever had a rash that looked to a doctor like herpes.  Unless you ever do, I wouldn't worry too much.  Sex always brings some risk--you can't ever really know whether any partner has absolutley never had an attack, since so many herpes attacks are minor and almost symptom-free.  So you do your best, which by checking ai think you have done and are doing.

Best.

Dr. Rockoff