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new here--melanoma fears
Hi,
I'm new here; I'm 29 years old, married, and have a two-year-old daughter who I'm worried I won't get to see grow up. I have an appointment this Thursday with a new dermatologist, but am worried to death about a new (or at least, newly recognized) symptom in one of my moles. The mole I'm most worried about first worried me a little over a year ago, when a tiny darker spot appeared in the middle of what looked like a freckle or small zit scar (unfortunately, I have had plenty of both). My dermatologist at the time said it was nothing to worry about. Several months later, I saw another dermatologist about a totally different issue, and asked her opinion (from what I remember, at this point the tiny dark spot was gone and the freckle/zit scar thing appeared to be more like a regular mole). This dermatologist also said not to worry about it. This past April, a little over a year after I first brought the mole to her attention, I returned to the initial dermatologist for a checkup (this was a little over two months ago now). At the time, the mole had a raised, possibly zit-like area right next to it. Again, the derm said this was normal and not to worry unless the mole got bigger (right now, the actual mole is less than 1 mm, flat, medium brown, oval and slightly asymmetrical). Within the next week, the raised area apparently healed, like others had before it, around but usually not on the mole, and I tried not to worry and concentrate on the rest of life, which at that point consisted of a move to another city. Although the mole doesn't appear to be visibly darker or bigger, it has continued to worry me. A few weeks ago, I noticed a possibly new mole in a totally different area, which prompted me to make an appointment with a new derm (this week was the earliest I could get). Since then, I've been looking at every spot on my body, trying to get a good read on anything else that may need closer scrutiny. This has included lots of scrutiny of the tiny worrisome face mole. At some point within the past couple of months, I have thought that perhaps there was a faint outline of different skin around the mole (covering considerably a wider area than the mole itself), but convinced myself I was imagining it (especially as, as I mentioned, I have plenty of freckles/zit scars, etc.). This past Saturday, while looking again at the mole, I discerned a definite flesh-colored ring of slightly different texture around, and far outside of, the mole. It is oval, close to, but not perfectly symmetrical, and more or less flesh colored (I'm pretty fair skinned). My husband says he can't even see it. Anyway, I called the derm's office this morning, said I was really worried, and they said they would call me if a cancellation came up, but that they really have nothing until Thursday. I am in a panic, especially considering that this ring around my mole has probably been here for several months at least, and I just couldn't see it clearly (and apparently, neither could the last derm, two months ago). I am worried to death that I have melanoma and that it's spread already, since I know the mole has been here over a year. I've read up on halo moles a little bit, and am hoping this is what we're dealing with, but of course am more worried that it's melanoma. Anyone have a similar experience? Can anyone offer me any hope? I'm trying to trust in God's timing (that he let me see the other, new mole at the perfect time so I'd make another appointment, and that he let me see the definite ring around the mole this weekend, rather than a month ago), but I'm having a hard time with this. Thanks in advance for anyone who's managed to read this far!
I'm new here; I'm 29 years old, married, and have a two-year-old daughter who I'm worried I won't get to see grow up. I have an appointment this Thursday with a new dermatologist, but am worried to death about a new (or at least, newly recognized) symptom in one of my moles. The mole I'm most worried about first worried me a little over a year ago, when a tiny darker spot appeared in the middle of what looked like a freckle or small zit scar (unfortunately, I have had plenty of both). My dermatologist at the time said it was nothing to worry about. Several months later, I saw another dermatologist about a totally different issue, and asked her opinion (from what I remember, at this point the tiny dark spot was gone and the freckle/zit scar thing appeared to be more like a regular mole). This dermatologist also said not to worry about it. This past April, a little over a year after I first brought the mole to her attention, I returned to the initial dermatologist for a checkup (this was a little over two months ago now). At the time, the mole had a raised, possibly zit-like area right next to it. Again, the derm said this was normal and not to worry unless the mole got bigger (right now, the actual mole is less than 1 mm, flat, medium brown, oval and slightly asymmetrical). Within the next week, the raised area apparently healed, like others had before it, around but usually not on the mole, and I tried not to worry and concentrate on the rest of life, which at that point consisted of a move to another city. Although the mole doesn't appear to be visibly darker or bigger, it has continued to worry me. A few weeks ago, I noticed a possibly new mole in a totally different area, which prompted me to make an appointment with a new derm (this week was the earliest I could get). Since then, I've been looking at every spot on my body, trying to get a good read on anything else that may need closer scrutiny. This has included lots of scrutiny of the tiny worrisome face mole. At some point within the past couple of months, I have thought that perhaps there was a faint outline of different skin around the mole (covering considerably a wider area than the mole itself), but convinced myself I was imagining it (especially as, as I mentioned, I have plenty of freckles/zit scars, etc.). This past Saturday, while looking again at the mole, I discerned a definite flesh-colored ring of slightly different texture around, and far outside of, the mole. It is oval, close to, but not perfectly symmetrical, and more or less flesh colored (I'm pretty fair skinned). My husband says he can't even see it. Anyway, I called the derm's office this morning, said I was really worried, and they said they would call me if a cancellation came up, but that they really have nothing until Thursday. I am in a panic, especially considering that this ring around my mole has probably been here for several months at least, and I just couldn't see it clearly (and apparently, neither could the last derm, two months ago). I am worried to death that I have melanoma and that it's spread already, since I know the mole has been here over a year. I've read up on halo moles a little bit, and am hoping this is what we're dealing with, but of course am more worried that it's melanoma. Anyone have a similar experience? Can anyone offer me any hope? I'm trying to trust in God's timing (that he let me see the other, new mole at the perfect time so I'd make another appointment, and that he let me see the definite ring around the mole this weekend, rather than a month ago), but I'm having a hard time with this. Thanks in advance for anyone who's managed to read this far!
I've read lots of posts on these message boards, and there are times when someone posts something that I can't respond to because, well, it sounds like a bad situation. While I'm not a doctor, I do like to sympathize and try and reassure people because I know how much that helps me when I'm struggling with a health issue. However, when the person's situation truly looks bleak I'm certainly not good at trying to offer what seems to be false hope.
Your case certainly doesn't fit that description, to me...you seem to be a very self-aware person who is worrying a whole lot about something that is almost certainly of little consequence. Again, I do the same thing, so by no means am I judging you in any way! But reading your detailed history really reminds me of me, in that you've analyzed the detailed aspects of your health issue, and you want to include every piece of info possible in your description. Regardless, from what I've read it again just doesn't sound like melanoma to me.
As far as I know, it's normal for skin to change. Texture, appearance, sensation...all of these things can change for a number of reasons, the vast majority of which are harmless. The changes and qualities you've described are not reflective of melanoma. Melanoma, as you probably know, is not some ambiguous spectrum of subtle skin changes, but a more focused proliferation of atypical skin cells that manifests as a focused lesion. Sure, it can be difficult at times to differentiate a malignant lesion from a benign one, and melanomas can be amelanotic, but they don't present as a diffuse sort of 'syndrome' of skin changes. Forgive me if I've got the wrong impression of what you are describing, but that is what it sounds like to me: a subtle non-focused skin change, that is occurring slowly (more slowly than would be expected with a malignant lesion anyway), and that the dermatologist(s) would clearly have noticed if it was of concern. I think you're just noticing normal skin changes that could be due to age, weather, etc etc etc...any number of factors. You've got no other symptoms that would typically present if you had allowed melanoma to progress this long, such as enlarged lymph nodes, weight loss, etc...The other symptoms you mention (numbness, tingling, tightness) could be due to normal skin changes, and if not that, well, I know at least 3 people who have described similar symptoms over the years, and all of them are healthy with no clear explanation...just these symptoms which come and go with time. It's not that uncommon actually.
So to sum up, the mole doesn't really fit the melanoma description, the other skin changes don't really fit it, your other symptoms certainly wouldn't make anyone suspect melanoma, and you have none of the symptoms that would make anyone suspect melanoma. I'd bet my house that, therefore, you don't have it!
Don't forget to update after your appointment!
-Kevin
Your case certainly doesn't fit that description, to me...you seem to be a very self-aware person who is worrying a whole lot about something that is almost certainly of little consequence. Again, I do the same thing, so by no means am I judging you in any way! But reading your detailed history really reminds me of me, in that you've analyzed the detailed aspects of your health issue, and you want to include every piece of info possible in your description. Regardless, from what I've read it again just doesn't sound like melanoma to me.
As far as I know, it's normal for skin to change. Texture, appearance, sensation...all of these things can change for a number of reasons, the vast majority of which are harmless. The changes and qualities you've described are not reflective of melanoma. Melanoma, as you probably know, is not some ambiguous spectrum of subtle skin changes, but a more focused proliferation of atypical skin cells that manifests as a focused lesion. Sure, it can be difficult at times to differentiate a malignant lesion from a benign one, and melanomas can be amelanotic, but they don't present as a diffuse sort of 'syndrome' of skin changes. Forgive me if I've got the wrong impression of what you are describing, but that is what it sounds like to me: a subtle non-focused skin change, that is occurring slowly (more slowly than would be expected with a malignant lesion anyway), and that the dermatologist(s) would clearly have noticed if it was of concern. I think you're just noticing normal skin changes that could be due to age, weather, etc etc etc...any number of factors. You've got no other symptoms that would typically present if you had allowed melanoma to progress this long, such as enlarged lymph nodes, weight loss, etc...The other symptoms you mention (numbness, tingling, tightness) could be due to normal skin changes, and if not that, well, I know at least 3 people who have described similar symptoms over the years, and all of them are healthy with no clear explanation...just these symptoms which come and go with time. It's not that uncommon actually.
So to sum up, the mole doesn't really fit the melanoma description, the other skin changes don't really fit it, your other symptoms certainly wouldn't make anyone suspect melanoma, and you have none of the symptoms that would make anyone suspect melanoma. I'd bet my house that, therefore, you don't have it!
Don't forget to update after your appointment!
-Kevin
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi
You have been very careful about your health and I think that is a good thing. You are very concerned about the mole at this point. Melanoma is given as a definite diagnosis only through a biopsy. You may ask your physician if a skin biopsy is indicated. Approximately how many moles do you have in your body? Would you say they number 300 to 400? Are these moles usually dark/ black colored? Are there hair growths on these moles?
I would suggest that you take a picture of this specific mole you have mentioned in your post . This will help identify any visible changes on this mole.
Let us hope things will be better from hereon. Just focus on the positive side of all these.
You have been very careful about your health and I think that is a good thing. You are very concerned about the mole at this point. Melanoma is given as a definite diagnosis only through a biopsy. You may ask your physician if a skin biopsy is indicated. Approximately how many moles do you have in your body? Would you say they number 300 to 400? Are these moles usually dark/ black colored? Are there hair growths on these moles?
I would suggest that you take a picture of this specific mole you have mentioned in your post . This will help identify any visible changes on this mole.
Let us hope things will be better from hereon. Just focus on the positive side of all these.
Thanks for your input; it always helps to have a rational opinion. I will admit to being a bit of a hypochondriac--not necessarily on a daily basis (I hardly have time to worry much since having my daughter; make the usual yearly appoinments and otherwise prefer to wait things out that don't seem serious), but whenever something comes up to worry me, it really worries me.
However, while I'm worrying, and since you probably know way more about melanoma (and differentials) than I do, I will mention a few other things that have been bothering me since I posted my original question.
After I noticed the ring around the mole (and posted my question), I noticed other ringlike marks and lines on the same side of my face (and yes, I was looking closely). Again, I don't think these are a new symptom, just that the obvious appearance of a pattern is something I've newly noticed. There have been other skin changes on that side of my face for at least the past year, if not longer. However long they've been there, they've been gradual enough that I can't remember for sure when they started, and my previous dermatologist apparently didn't notice anything herself out of the ordinary. At some point in the past year or so I noticed that the skin around and above the mole area felt thinner, slacker, sometimes tighter. Sometimes the corner of the eye on that side of my face feels tight. Again, no real noticeable pigment changes in the mole itself or immediate surrounding area, although for awhile I've seemed to notice that this side of my face appears to have more sun damage allover (looked like freckling, or early age spots, but now some of this slight freckling color now seems to be comprising some of the aforementioned lines and rings). I even think I've noticed the texture changes of the ring- and line-like skin before (a year ago? two years ago?), but in smaller patches, so that I didn't notice an overall pattern to worry me. There's definitely something going on here, but something that I believe has been happening gradually enough for me not to be truly alarmed until now. In the past couple of years, I've lost 30 pounds after the birth of my daughter (my weight leveled off almost a year ago, so I'm not still losing), my face has always been a little asymmetrical, and I've had TMJ problems (which I mostly ignore; the treatment at this point is worse) since I was about 9 or 10. Plenty of things for me to blame facial irregularities on. Additionally, about 4 years ago, I had another scare, fueled by doctors who saw fit to continue recommending inconclusive tests, which involved that side of my face, and sometimes arm, wrist, and leg. During this strange phenomenon, my left eye's pupil was occasionally inappropriately constricted, the left side of my face, head, and neck occasionally went numb, and once I even thought I might be having a stroke because my left eye bulged out visibly and the muscles on the left side of my face were slow to respond. They found nothing at the ER, gave me pain meds (which I didn't even need), and the symptoms were gone by the time I saw a neurologist a few days later. He sent me to an opthalmologist and an MS specialist, who in turn sent me to a cardiologist. I was tested for lyme disease and several autoimmune diseases. Nothing came back conclusive. After several months of this, I got tired of tests and dead ends, wasn't experiencing the symptoms as badly, and decided everything was probably due to my TMJ issues and slight scoliosis.
Because of all this, I have ignored any twitches, twinges, and oddities on the left side of my face (other than getting the mole checked) until recently. Although skin in different areas of the left side of my face occasionally tingles or twitches (including eyes, nose, and mouth), nothing has been seriously bothersome or persistent. I didn't even think to mention it to the dermatologist last time I got my mole checked, so it must not have been bothering me at the time. Now I'm seriously afraid that I've ignored things I shouldn't have and that melanoma has been spreading for the last year or so (especially since reading about amelanotic melanoma). I keep trying to tell myself that melanoma spread over my whole cheek is unlikely in the absence of swelling, lumps, etc., and that something else is more likely (perhaps a localized autoimmune disease, which isn't great), but I'm still worried. The self-argument that it's just my nerves, either literally or figuratively, just isn't working. Any further insight you can offer? (Thanks again for reading).
My appointment is Thursday, unless they get a cancellation sooner (I called yesterday and told the assistant I was worried to death).
However, while I'm worrying, and since you probably know way more about melanoma (and differentials) than I do, I will mention a few other things that have been bothering me since I posted my original question.
After I noticed the ring around the mole (and posted my question), I noticed other ringlike marks and lines on the same side of my face (and yes, I was looking closely). Again, I don't think these are a new symptom, just that the obvious appearance of a pattern is something I've newly noticed. There have been other skin changes on that side of my face for at least the past year, if not longer. However long they've been there, they've been gradual enough that I can't remember for sure when they started, and my previous dermatologist apparently didn't notice anything herself out of the ordinary. At some point in the past year or so I noticed that the skin around and above the mole area felt thinner, slacker, sometimes tighter. Sometimes the corner of the eye on that side of my face feels tight. Again, no real noticeable pigment changes in the mole itself or immediate surrounding area, although for awhile I've seemed to notice that this side of my face appears to have more sun damage allover (looked like freckling, or early age spots, but now some of this slight freckling color now seems to be comprising some of the aforementioned lines and rings). I even think I've noticed the texture changes of the ring- and line-like skin before (a year ago? two years ago?), but in smaller patches, so that I didn't notice an overall pattern to worry me. There's definitely something going on here, but something that I believe has been happening gradually enough for me not to be truly alarmed until now. In the past couple of years, I've lost 30 pounds after the birth of my daughter (my weight leveled off almost a year ago, so I'm not still losing), my face has always been a little asymmetrical, and I've had TMJ problems (which I mostly ignore; the treatment at this point is worse) since I was about 9 or 10. Plenty of things for me to blame facial irregularities on. Additionally, about 4 years ago, I had another scare, fueled by doctors who saw fit to continue recommending inconclusive tests, which involved that side of my face, and sometimes arm, wrist, and leg. During this strange phenomenon, my left eye's pupil was occasionally inappropriately constricted, the left side of my face, head, and neck occasionally went numb, and once I even thought I might be having a stroke because my left eye bulged out visibly and the muscles on the left side of my face were slow to respond. They found nothing at the ER, gave me pain meds (which I didn't even need), and the symptoms were gone by the time I saw a neurologist a few days later. He sent me to an opthalmologist and an MS specialist, who in turn sent me to a cardiologist. I was tested for lyme disease and several autoimmune diseases. Nothing came back conclusive. After several months of this, I got tired of tests and dead ends, wasn't experiencing the symptoms as badly, and decided everything was probably due to my TMJ issues and slight scoliosis.
Because of all this, I have ignored any twitches, twinges, and oddities on the left side of my face (other than getting the mole checked) until recently. Although skin in different areas of the left side of my face occasionally tingles or twitches (including eyes, nose, and mouth), nothing has been seriously bothersome or persistent. I didn't even think to mention it to the dermatologist last time I got my mole checked, so it must not have been bothering me at the time. Now I'm seriously afraid that I've ignored things I shouldn't have and that melanoma has been spreading for the last year or so (especially since reading about amelanotic melanoma). I keep trying to tell myself that melanoma spread over my whole cheek is unlikely in the absence of swelling, lumps, etc., and that something else is more likely (perhaps a localized autoimmune disease, which isn't great), but I'm still worried. The self-argument that it's just my nerves, either literally or figuratively, just isn't working. Any further insight you can offer? (Thanks again for reading).
My appointment is Thursday, unless they get a cancellation sooner (I called yesterday and told the assistant I was worried to death).
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi
I do understand the anxiety that comes with this. I know you have been worried about this for quite sometime already. Do take things one step at a time. There is no definite evaluation and diagnosis given yet .The mole was not thoroughly assessed yet. Try to be positive about this. You have already scheduled an appointment with your doctor. Now, the next step is to ask the doctor what diagnostic tests may be done to help ease your worries and concerns. It is best to be proactive about this. A diagnostic test such as a biopsy will be able to provide a baseline assessment.
Think positive. Worrying will not help you at all. When one starts to worry, the body releases stress hormones which may help attract diseases. So smile, laugh, sleep and eat well. Pray and desire that everything will turn out fine.
I do understand the anxiety that comes with this. I know you have been worried about this for quite sometime already. Do take things one step at a time. There is no definite evaluation and diagnosis given yet .The mole was not thoroughly assessed yet. Try to be positive about this. You have already scheduled an appointment with your doctor. Now, the next step is to ask the doctor what diagnostic tests may be done to help ease your worries and concerns. It is best to be proactive about this. A diagnostic test such as a biopsy will be able to provide a baseline assessment.
Think positive. Worrying will not help you at all. When one starts to worry, the body releases stress hormones which may help attract diseases. So smile, laugh, sleep and eat well. Pray and desire that everything will turn out fine.
Hi there,
You're not alone in your fears...I've been obsessing over melanoma for a while now myself, so when I read your post, it sounded like me. There are lots of us...people who freak out over any perceived possible cancer. I've got a 4-yr old and a 1-yr old and I can tell you that before I had them, these sorts of things didn't bother me nearly as much. But now that I have them, and they are the center of my universe, I am so terrified of anything that could take me away from them, for my sake and theirs.
However, while I certainly can relate to your anxiety, let me just say that I honestly believe that you've got nothing to worry about. To feel hopeless right now is something I can relate to, but it's nice for me, as an outside observer, to be able to recognize irrational fear when it occurs in someone else and to try and help them see that. You've got plenty of reason to count on a future with your daughter, because what you're describing really doesn't sound like anything serious. While I'm not a doctor, I'm a scientist and I've driven myself crazy with research on this subject...and your description does not really fit with a melanoma: it's small, hasn't grown in size, hasn't clearly raised in height (at least on the mole itself), 2 dermatologists have seen it and weren't concerned (one of them twice), and you sound just like me, who has from experience seen numerous scares turn out to be nothing! This 'ring' you describe seems to scare you because you never noticed it before, but it may have been there before, or even if it is a new development, is not really indicative of melanoma in the context of all the other features I just mentioned.
You'll be fine...I know nothing beats the peace of mind of certainty though, so you could always ask the derm to remove it once and for all. You'd then have a tortuous few days of waiting for biopsy results, but I'm certain they would come back fine and you'd be home free! In no way do I mean to imply that I think a biopsy is needed, though...I just think it would give you peace of mind.
Keep me updated, ok?
-Kevin
You're not alone in your fears...I've been obsessing over melanoma for a while now myself, so when I read your post, it sounded like me. There are lots of us...people who freak out over any perceived possible cancer. I've got a 4-yr old and a 1-yr old and I can tell you that before I had them, these sorts of things didn't bother me nearly as much. But now that I have them, and they are the center of my universe, I am so terrified of anything that could take me away from them, for my sake and theirs.
However, while I certainly can relate to your anxiety, let me just say that I honestly believe that you've got nothing to worry about. To feel hopeless right now is something I can relate to, but it's nice for me, as an outside observer, to be able to recognize irrational fear when it occurs in someone else and to try and help them see that. You've got plenty of reason to count on a future with your daughter, because what you're describing really doesn't sound like anything serious. While I'm not a doctor, I'm a scientist and I've driven myself crazy with research on this subject...and your description does not really fit with a melanoma: it's small, hasn't grown in size, hasn't clearly raised in height (at least on the mole itself), 2 dermatologists have seen it and weren't concerned (one of them twice), and you sound just like me, who has from experience seen numerous scares turn out to be nothing! This 'ring' you describe seems to scare you because you never noticed it before, but it may have been there before, or even if it is a new development, is not really indicative of melanoma in the context of all the other features I just mentioned.
You'll be fine...I know nothing beats the peace of mind of certainty though, so you could always ask the derm to remove it once and for all. You'd then have a tortuous few days of waiting for biopsy results, but I'm certain they would come back fine and you'd be home free! In no way do I mean to imply that I think a biopsy is needed, though...I just think it would give you peace of mind.
Keep me updated, ok?
-Kevin
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