No, I don't think you have herpes. A dermatologist would probably do a more convinving job of diagnosing and treating your current rash, which souds like irritation to me. As your SO's swollen glands, if that were herpes and you caught it from that encounter, you would have gotten severe swololen glands yourself within a week, plus hiogh fever and bleeding gums. Doesn't sound as though you had any of those. If the skin doctor thinks it's worthwhile, you mighyt get a herpes 2 blood test, but I'm not sure you need even that.
Best.
Dr. Rockoff
And what is you take not on her swollen glands but on the bumps that developed in her mouth. Could those have been warts? They did dissapear which is supposed to be common with warts.
Couldn't the swollen glands have been due to the introduction of a virus, HPV maybe?
As for irritation would it be constant for a year and a half, I didn't change anything in my routines, just had unprotected sex and developed the rash shortly after.