several atypical moles and fear of melanoma

I am 31 years old and just had my third atypical mole removed.  My first was mildly atypical, the second was mild to moderate and the third was moderate.  Because the third is moderate my dermatologist has scheduled a reexcision.  I do not have a ton of moles.  I would say I have around 30 to 40.  I have black hair, light olive complection and I always wear sunscreen.  

I do not have a personal history of melanoma or nonmelanoma skin cancer.  My parents and siblings have not had skin cancer of any kind.  My Grandfather had a growth to develop on his back when he was 80.  It was never confirmed as skin cancer, but it was black, ulcerated and nodular in appearance.  One Doctor told us it looked like a squamous cell.  He died from pancreatic cancer and the lesion was not biopsied.  so, I don't know if it was melanoma or not.  

My questions are:

Since I have had three atypical moles removed do I have atypical mole syndrome?

Also, based on my family history and personal history, what is my risk for melanoma?  I have tried to research this, but have only become more confused.  I have read that the relative risk for someone with Dysplastic nevi, no personal melanoma history and a familial melanoma is 148.  That really scared me (I hope it did so because I don't understand relative risk)  I have also read that having atypical moles puts me at the highest risk for getting melanoma.  I read an artical at aafp.com that says "people with familial atypical mole syndrome have a relative risk for melanoma ranging from 33 to 1269 with a cumulative lefetime risk approaching 100 percent.  What does that mean?  I feel like because I have had 3 atypical moles removed I am a ticking time bomb?  I was comfortable with the literature that states 1 in 75 will get melanoma in their lifetime.  I interpret that as the general population has a 1.3% chance of getting melanoma.  I can't interpret what "relative risk" means in those terms.  I need my risk put in  a measure I understand.  What is my risk in those terms?  

My final question is...How common are atypical moles.  Does everyone who has atypical moles get melanoma?  

Thank you so very much.  My appointment for my reexcision isn't for another 5 weeks and the questions are causing a ton of anxiety.

[Alan Rockoff, MD]

The terms "dysplastic" or "atypical" are vague and subjective.  Many experts are agitating for retiring them.  Three moderately dysplastic moles don't add up to familial atypical mole syndrome, which would involve having close relatives with many moles and melanoma.   I don't have exact statistics, but sporadic dysplastic nevi (moles) are common.  I think your risk is a bit higher than the average person, but not at the stratospheric levels you cite.

Just go for regular skin checkups, minimize sun exposure, and you should be fine.

Best.

Dr. Rockoff