How can I get my daughter to check her blood sugar?

[Lindy22504]

Hello,

My daughter was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at the age of 14. She is now 22 and will be 23 soon.

From the time she was 14-- to about 20 years of age, she was seeing a specialist 3-4 times a year. The reason she stopped going there is because of an age limit.

For the past 2 or so years, she refuses to see  a specialist. She WILL go to see the family doctor, but will NOT go to get her blood taken.

Further, I don't think she has even checked her blood sugar for over 2 years. I don't what to do.

Harrassing her does no good. I worry all the time.

She seems to be doing fine, but I just don't know what else I can do.

Thanks for any info or advice.

[JDRF-Team-wak]

I am not a physician, but the mom of a child with type 1 diabetes, I am also the daughter of a type 2.
I do know how you feel however, for years my mom would not take care of her diabetes. Even now occasionally she still does not take care of herself. That is when I start reminding her of the complications that she has already had, such as 2 stokes and a heart attack- then I remind her that she has 2 grandchildren, and that it would be nice if she were around to enjoy them.  
I know this sounds harsh but maybe if you remind your daughter of the serious complications that she could have if she does not take care of herself.

[JDRF-Team-LRS]

After so many years with diabetes, your daughter undoubtedly "knows" the complications.  She's chosen, for now, to ignore them -- much the same way smokers continue to smoke.

I suspect she's set up an unhealthy way of coping -- "As long as Mom worries about me, I don't have to"  To the extent that you can stop the cycle (don't invest more in her health than she is), she might begin to wonder & worry about things on her own.

When you're together, you can still present her with good food choices and ask her how she's feeling,but resist the temptation to fall into the unsuccessful battle of wills that you're engaged in.  I realize you dont intend this to be a battle, but for some of us, for some periods of time, we just don't "hear" as positive the things our parents tell us.

I was dx'd as a teen, and that was 35 years ago or so.  I went thru periods of brilliant denial and thankfully, lived thru them. I'm sure my parents grew grey because of their worry and yet they did nothing to cause my denial AND they did nothing to end it.  It was all in my head.  I suspect that your daughter is lucky enough to not have yet heard any doctor tell her she has a problem resulting from poor BG control and so it's all "theoretical" right now.  

Like you, I hope she grows up quickly enough to not have to endure the reality of complications.  The sad truth, tho', is that there is nothing that you (as mom) can say or do to have a positive impact right now.  If you happen to know any DM young people whom she might relate to ... well THAT's a whole different story, because THEY (as diabetics) are more credible sources of info right now than you can be.

Perhaps you can "leave around" website info like this one for her to "find" by herself.

Good luck.  It must be agonizing ... just know that this phase WILL pass.

[LejeuneNurse]

I can sympathize with Lindy and I wonder if it has anything to do with the age of diagnosis. My son was also diagnosed at age 14. I did everything in my power to see that he had the most up to date care and education about diabetes. He is on the pump and does not test. Recently he went into DKA and said he was confused because he had tested, but I saw that his strips were over 2 years old! Any suggestion is met with anger or irritation. I have met several moms of kids diagnosed in their early to mid teens and many of them stated the kids had not adjusted well.