Married to a diabetic with low sex drive

[cypress92129]

I recently married a 39yr old diabetic.  He discovered he had diabeties 4 yrs ago.  We have been trying to conceive but only have intercouse 2 or 3 times a month.  His sex drive has been almost nonexistant and is starting to impact our marriage.  I have a really active sex drive and need more from him.  Is it true that diabetics could have low sex drive and this will not change?  

I knew his sex drive was low before we go married and truthfully contemplated not marrying him for the vary reason.  I don't know whether i can stay in this marriage if our sex life barely exist.  

[Forum-vol-cmb]

I think anyone can have a low sex drive diabetic or not.  I think if his blood sugar is under control  it will make him feel better in a general sense, which could help his sex drive.  

You do not mention if he eats properly and has good control over his blood sugar.  If he doesn't maybe you could help by trying to get him to talk about diabetes, try to make meal plans with better healthier choices or work out together.  

Does he see an endocrinologist, have you both discussed this with his doctors?  Maybe he is depressed over the diabetes.  Maybe that could be a factor.  

If none of this sounds like the problem then maybe you need to seek advice from a therapist or couples therapist.  I find that if I talk to my husband about what is bothering me and we communicate we get along much better and are able to compromise and work out our differences.    

[JJL570]

I am not a doctor but I am a diabetic for 37 years.  37 years of diabetes has created ED issues from the long term diabetes side affects. At times my ED concern has reduced my interest/drive due to concern of failure.  Good blood sugar control is key to being active.  An understanding lover is critical and counciling as suggested could help.  If ED is part of the problem, speak to your doctor about meds and don't be dicouraged on first trys.  I have found that hydration is key with the meds if ED has anything to do with the problem.

  

[JDRF-VOL-SG]

As mentioned above, ED can be one of the long-term effects on male diabetics due to nerve and blood vessel damages. This can be hard for a man to talk about. I would suggest that you and your spouse have a discussion, and that you open a discussion by telling him that you read about this on a diabetes website. Then this can lead to your asking him if he has this problem. And if so, his doctor can help.

[arcticpixel]

I am a female who has had type 1 Diabetes for 22 years.  I can tell you from experience that a blood sugar too high or too low will surely "kill the moment".  However, I can't express to you what an awful feeling that is to have to tell my wonderful Husband that (in the heat of the moment) I need a glass of juice or am feeling sick due to a high blood sugar.  Luckily, I am blessed to have a Husband that truly honors me and rather than be angry, jumps to help and offers understanding (despite his disapointment)...  If your spouse is not interested because his blood sugar is too high or too low, you should help him fix the problem, wait a while and then try again (works for us and in the end I feel more loved than ever before)...
Just a thought.

[DennisIDDM]

all my Fellow T1's are right on> ck his Blood Sugars... But left out s a few important things... Do you Know about his Diabetes? Meaning All the Details of What good Control means? ie: having a A1c level of 6% and not having above 115 after 4 hrs  and when he gets up in the AM and not higher than 140's, 2hrs after eating? Not to mention does he know his Carb to Insulin Ratio?  ie: How many Carbs does 1 unit cover to achieve control in that 2 hr & 4 hr window? and does his Carb Counting and not eating more than a total of 30-40 total carb per meal?  If he shrugs you off about this? He is Still not in control and either Doesn't know these things ( most newbies don't) and/or he is still in denial and doesn't Want to follow the program..  Get him a CDE to start helping him out( ask your Hospital for a Referral )

[Irnoid]

I agree that control is important, but I feel that he may be suffering from the emotional side effects of diabetes as well as the physical. My girlfriend is very understanding, and as arcticpixel said, just try again later if it doesn't work the first time. Dennis brings up good numbers and such, however not every diabetic is the same. I, for example, eat 60-90 carbs per meal. It depends on how active he is. Again, talk to him and see what/ how he feels. Sometimes I get so frustrated with sugar levels, especially when they are ( for some unknown reason) high. On occasion you can do everything in your power but still experience unexpected levels. Just talk to him and try to be understanding and patient. we all have our own problems, and they all manifest themselves in a different way.