help

I pretty much cry myself to sleep every night, and i even have to take sleeping pills to get to sleep at points. I know  there is nothing that I can do about having diabetes, but sometimes it just *****. I'm 13 years old and have had type 1 diabetes for about 3 years. I just dont know how to handle it...emotionally anyway. I'm suffering denial with all of it and i just dont know what to do. I always feel like im a defect, and worthless. I feel like everyone is looking at me and feeling sorry for me. I think about the harm im doing to my body by not taking good control over my surgar. and when i have a high reading, its like i dont even care. but how long will i live? will i leave my family behind too early?  i even feel like no boy could ever like someone like ME. which has lead to my low codfindence...how does everyone else seem to handle it with flying colors? why me.....

[Kdaffyc]

Dear M,
I am very concerned for you. I know diabetes is very serious and can be very upsetting especially since you are so young and going through alot of other changes in your life now too. I know it is easy for me to say, but you must take control of your own life because no one else can take the best care of you but you. You are not worthless or a defect. But you are right if you don't take care of yourself what will the complications be? There are many not just death. I took care of my mom the last 10 years of her life with diabetes and associated problem. If we had not kept on top of it I think she would have not been here the past 10 years. Just think of how much more you, family and friends can have by giving them the gift of you! If you think people are feeling sorry for you, talk to them. Let them know hey I'm just taking great care of myself. Believe they have problems too that keep them awake at night they are just different than yours.There is no way that aall boys will reject you just because you have diabetes. If you are confident in your care and can explain your condition in just a coomon everyday conversation, I'm sure that everyone is going to think, Hey shes on top of this! Stigma comes from being uneducated. If they know the facts the easier people will understand and NOT feel sorry for you. Be your advocate, I know it will help.  I also think that you should ask your parents to find you a good pschologist to help you get on track. I know, there are stigmas about that too but you have learn to face them head on and don't be affraid to take care of you. My daughter who is now 25 has Bi Polar which is very misunderstood. Bur after what we have been through we both say Hey Ive got depression and let people know that the real facts shouldnt be swept under the rug. People are more open to talking about things if you are. But you do seem depressed to me and I would like it if you would go see a good Pschtherapist. You may feel more compfotable with a woman. If you don't feel a good connection with her after 3 or 4 sessions find someone else until you do. This si most important to fell you have someone to trust and can tell anything to. It is very confidential and no one needs to know except you and your family if you like. But again I would encourage you to be strong and not let what people think interfere. Communication is key in life. I know you have the heart of a lion, I know you want help. You can do it, I believe in you and so do other people! Give them a chance to help you deal with this. You are not alone. Not why me, I AM ME! Let me know if I can help in any way.
Blessings, Take care, K