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how to stop bingeing
by ritzer, Nov 04, 2004 12:00AM
Our daughter was a model patient for 13 years. She is 16 now and has been admitted to an eating disorder program twice in the last 5 months for two weeks at a time. She has gained 30 pounds in that time period and binges on oreos, bags of candy bars, pop tarts. She has covered up the eating with more insulin. She never lied to us in 13 years. Now she lies all of the time about where she has been and what she has eaten. She is a good student and in general a good child. However the lies have taken a toll on our relationship. We have tried punishment. Taking away cell phone, car, groundings etc. We have tried a relaxed approach. Letting her work it out herself. Nothing seems to work. At the hospital they say she is angry at having diabetes and when we try to restrict her it just makes things worse. Other than that we don't feel she has gained a lot from the stays. We are about ready to bring her home and just let her alone. She has had all kinds of warnings about what she is doing to her body. Maybe we just need to let her find her own way. Just wondering if anyone else has been through this and what has worked for them? Thank you.
Doctor's Answer
by JDRF-Team-ES, Nov 04, 2004 12:00AM
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. It sounds like this is a very difficult and scary time for the whole family. I am not a doctor, but I was a child when my diabetes was diagnosed and I certainly understand the anger one feels, particularly during adolescence. Having an eating disorder certainly complicates an already complicated situation. Being a teenager who wants to look and be like everyone else adds to the complexity of this problem. Unfortuantely, many young girls feel the pressure of being thin, smart, beautiful and, for your daughter add, the perfect diabetic child (which she was for many years).
First of all, give yourself some credit for being on top of things and getting your daughter into appropriate treatment for her eating disorder. You have not indicated whether your daughter has participated in any ongoing therapy or whether the family has had any family sessions to help you cope and find new ways of dealing with these very complicated issues. Many eating disorders programs will offer family sessions and support groups. But there is really no quick fix. There are some programs that are residential and longer term that might be appropriate for your daghter if the eating disorder continues. Bingeing can be part of an eating disorder and just as serious as anorexia, especially for a diabetic. With both diabetes and eating disorders there are lots of feelings and emotions involved, so the usual ways of coping with diabetes...watching your diet, monitoring blood sugars, taking insulin, etc....are only the beginning. Without addressing the feelings, the usual methods often fall to the wayside.
I would encourage you to talk with your physician and your daughter's school counselors about potential programs for her. There are probably other students who have had eating disorders and you may benefit from their experiences. Counselors and physicians will know of the best treatment centers and make a recommendation if they feel that she could benefit from longer term treatment. One advantage of residential treatment is that it will get you out of the day to day loop and place the responsibilty on your daughter which is ultimately where it lies.
Both diabetes and eating disorders are lifelong challenges that, together, are more than most families can cope with, without some outside help. You will need to be involved in her treatment, but she will need to be responsible for her care and that is a hard balance to find for families just dealing with diabetes, let alone both of these conditions.
Although I never had an eating disorder, I do know that as an angry teenager, therapy really made a differnce in my life, not only reducing my anger, but in reducing my fear, giving me hope and helping me to feel like I wanted to take care of myself. I only wish that someone would have recommended family therapy for my family at that time. It is almost 40 years since I was diagnosed and there are still some tough days, but I have learned that you don't need to be a perfect diabetic. Being good enough and learning to like yourself, even when you hate your disease, can make all the difference.
I know I have rambled and perhaps not given you a very useful answer, but I will encourage you to get some counseling help in addition to the medical help you are already getting---for all of you. If anyone out there has any more experience with eating disorders and diabetes, please write in. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.
ES
First of all, give yourself some credit for being on top of things and getting your daughter into appropriate treatment for her eating disorder. You have not indicated whether your daughter has participated in any ongoing therapy or whether the family has had any family sessions to help you cope and find new ways of dealing with these very complicated issues. Many eating disorders programs will offer family sessions and support groups. But there is really no quick fix. There are some programs that are residential and longer term that might be appropriate for your daghter if the eating disorder continues. Bingeing can be part of an eating disorder and just as serious as anorexia, especially for a diabetic. With both diabetes and eating disorders there are lots of feelings and emotions involved, so the usual ways of coping with diabetes...watching your diet, monitoring blood sugars, taking insulin, etc....are only the beginning. Without addressing the feelings, the usual methods often fall to the wayside.
I would encourage you to talk with your physician and your daughter's school counselors about potential programs for her. There are probably other students who have had eating disorders and you may benefit from their experiences. Counselors and physicians will know of the best treatment centers and make a recommendation if they feel that she could benefit from longer term treatment. One advantage of residential treatment is that it will get you out of the day to day loop and place the responsibilty on your daughter which is ultimately where it lies.
Both diabetes and eating disorders are lifelong challenges that, together, are more than most families can cope with, without some outside help. You will need to be involved in her treatment, but she will need to be responsible for her care and that is a hard balance to find for families just dealing with diabetes, let alone both of these conditions.
Although I never had an eating disorder, I do know that as an angry teenager, therapy really made a differnce in my life, not only reducing my anger, but in reducing my fear, giving me hope and helping me to feel like I wanted to take care of myself. I only wish that someone would have recommended family therapy for my family at that time. It is almost 40 years since I was diagnosed and there are still some tough days, but I have learned that you don't need to be a perfect diabetic. Being good enough and learning to like yourself, even when you hate your disease, can make all the difference.
I know I have rambled and perhaps not given you a very useful answer, but I will encourage you to get some counseling help in addition to the medical help you are already getting---for all of you. If anyone out there has any more experience with eating disorders and diabetes, please write in. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.
ES
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Anger is often the root cause and it may be diabetes "only" or it may be a combination of things. Teen years are tumultuous and when someone looks at teen cross-ways, their emotions FLY! Your daughter may be stressing over "being different," she may be stressing over family dynamics (job loss/change, moving, divorce, remarriage, loss of a friend, sexual issues [unwanted advances? lack of "wanted" advances? fears]. There's plenty of stuff that teen girls wrestle with.
Further, there may be issues within the family dynamics that feed into her anger & fear, even tho' the behaviors may be rooted in love & concern.
My advice as a diabetic, a step-mom of a troubled teen, and the aunt of a diabetic 20ish girl who's not caring for herself well -- is to not give up. Ever. Ever. Ever. She may well give up on herself. She has & will test your patience, drive you to insomnia, and panic. Find a support system for yourself (family & individual counseling can help here) and hang on.
One of the *best* support systems around is the local JDRF chapter and their network of families & resources. If you've not visited before, I'd encourage you to visit http://www.jdrf.org adn search for a chapter/branch near you. Further, on that site, if you click on the link labelled something like "Newly Diagnosed? You're not Alone?" you'll be brought to JDRF's Online Diabetes Support Team. It's **not** just for newly diagnosed. Unlike this site, that forum is 1 on 1, electronically initially and, as you prefer, you can move to phone or in person interactions with someone in your area who has experience similar/relevant to yours.
Good luck. It's harrowing. Your daughter is smart. She knows "intellectually" what's what. She's hurting emotionally/ psychologically & needs your strength & patience to continue shining a light in the right direction.
I have been diabetic since I was 12, I am now a happy 40 year old married mother of two.
I went through some mild bingeing (sp?) in my late teens as a diabetic, but this situation sounds far and beyond normal rebellion, and the sorting-out of regular self-hatred feelings associated with teenaged diabetics. My gut reaction is, you need a registered psychologist or psychiatrist here for some intensive work. Don't nag, but don't give up! Keep love first and foremost. Hang in there - we are all behind you. Also, maybe there is another diabetic out there who has faced the same problems, that you could hook her up with, either on the net or in person.
Lesley
Make sure you read the scientific studies (clinical trials) and the case. These products are helping a lot of people get off medications and Insulin, and helping them become healthier and lose weight.
If you do not have constant Internet access, I can mail you a Diabetic Breakthrough newsletter by emailing or calling me with you name and address.
Sincerely,
Brandon T. Jacobs
1332 Maple Hill Rd
Castleton, NY 12033
518-732-0847
***@****
It could be tennis, lacrosse, swimming, running, she names it.
It could be a competitive sport, like soccer or racquetball. Or it might be a noncompetitive, solitary sport like downhill skiing or cross-country running, or maybe a combination of social and solitary--for example, bicycling.
Encourage her to do what she most enjoys.