Teen coping strategies?

[Tweedy]

Our 15 year son was diagnosed with diabetes when he was 12 months old.  So this is truly a life journey for him as well as his father and I.  He has always done well with maintaining blood sugar levels. HbA1C have been excellent throughout his 14 years of having them done.  Now going into his second year of high school, our son is become somewhat angry about his regime and his lot in life.  Do you know of any books that would be good for him/us to read as we get through this?

[Betty61]

It's good to know I'm not alone. My thirteen year old has had very similar experiences and It is very stressful.

[Railroad]

I too have a 15-year old son with diabetes (since 7). He is clinically depressed, refuses to take anti-depressant medication, is no longer doing well testing himself, and has recently been caught smoking pot and drinking alcohol.

We have placed him last month in a "PIMS Diversion" program whereby a probation officer checks in on him at school periodically, and requires him to return to counseling. However, he steadfastly refuses to return to his psychiatrist or take his meds (Abilify).

He has been suspended from school this week for showing up at a Homecoming dance under the influence of alcohol. He tested POS on their breathalyzer.

My wife and I have attended an 8-week parenting course and go to counseling ourselves.

We are hopeful that he can find coping mechanisms for his depression, which we believe is diabetes related. I just ordered 2 books from Amazon listed on the web site mentioned. I will let you know what we think.

Please let me know if you have any ideas or wish to share any thoughts. R

[JDRF Team SGG]

I am a long-time type 1 diabetic, now a grandma, but at one time a teen with diabetes just as your son is. At this age, being like the rest of the kids is very important to a teen, and the diabetes may make him feel like he doesn't fit in for the first time in his life. At this age, a boy's hormones are going crazy, and testosterone does cause increased anger. This is normal. When my own son was going through these years, it was recommended to me to  engage him in physical activities just because the physical exertion helps even out the hormones in his body for a brief time and therefore helps him find some relief from the pent-up emotions that the increased testosterone levels can cause. Not a bad idea.

While I cannot recommend books or websites, I can recommend picking your battles carefully for the next few years so as to keep the communications open. Maybe if he is allowed some freedom in other areas as a compromise, he will be more willing to work with you on keeping his glucose levels as normal as possible. Maybe you can arrange a deal of some sort with him. That way, he feels as if he is in control of his situation somewhat. That control is sometimes what we diabetics really feel we are lacking. If he can feel that he is controlling his glucose levels and what he is eating, he may be more able to handle this burden of being diabetic.

As an encouragement, it gets easier after we grow up. These teen years are the absolute hardest for a diabetic kid. Kudos to you as a parent to be smart enough to recognize the problem as it starts and to seek help before his good control is lost.

[wolfenastar]

http://www.dhmc.org/teens_with_diabetes.cfm
The above web site has many book reviews and titles for teens.
I have an idea of what he's going through. Before my daughter passed away she started to resent her diabetes and didn't want
to take her shots anymore. She began to eat whatever she wanted and
never wanted to test her sugar. She didn't want to have to take "time out" for it. Just be patient but still stay on top of it.
Hope the link helps.

[JDRF-Team-LRS]

Hello Tweedy,
There are already a coupla insightful comments added to this thread.  I'm also a volunteer and not a medical or a mental health professional, so do check out my advice, too with your son's doctor.

It is not at all uncommon for those of us with a chronic disease, from which we cannot take safe vacations, to develop depression.  Depression is treatable.  My recommendation is that you reach out to your son on an emotional level more than a medical level or a "you'll risk complications" level.  He already knows what the risks are.  

As a teen with new hormones raging, the effects are both metabolic and psychological.  All teens wrestle with that, and those of us who are/were diabetic teens have extra stressors.

ENcourage him to verbalize what he's feeling, when he's feeling it.  I heard a munchkin say at a JDRF event last month, that -- "diabetes S$#@cks."  (Pls excuse the vulgarity, but that's what the little guy said, and he's right.)  Day in and day out, it feels that way.  Your son is exhibiting a fairly normal reaction to an exhausting, scary, "makes him different" condition.  IN your shoes, I'd encourage him to verbalize (so he doesn't point his rage at himself or at others) and I'd also be looking for a referral to a mental health professional who can help him AND YOUR FAMILY to deal with the emotions of all this on everyone.  It is a disease that affects you all and it will be a source of comfort to him to participate in something that involves you all -- and not just him.

Good luck thru this difficult time.  I hope you can reach your son.