juvenile daibetes in women and marriage

[ruchika203]

Hi
I've been diabetic for the last 27 yrs.I'm 32 now.Just wanna know if I can still get married.Should i marry a diabetic only coz'i don't think any normal guy would like to land himself in trouble by marrying a girl like me?Moreover in India we still have that system of arranged marriages which makes things even more difficult.

[thiagirl]

I have been a diabetic since my third pregnancy . It has been a challenge to raise a family and be married and deal with being a diabetic, but my husband is very supportive as our my children (I have 4 now by the way) . I didn't meet my husband as a diabetic but it has had an impact on him as a man and  I don't think he would be the man he is if I didn't get sick. When two healthy people enter into a marriage we say the words " in sickness and in health" during our vows but many times we can't imagine that happening and we don't know what we would do if it did. I know we would like to think that we would be loving and supportive but until your faced with something you really are never sure of your response. I was blessed that my husband really stuck by my side , if he had met me before maybe he wouldn't have wanted to deal with it as we were very young when we married. But my getting sick during our marriage really helped him to understand how serious that commitment is, and Thank God he really has been a big help to me. You have an advantage that people know what they are getting into before they walk down that isle,  marriage really is about being there no matter what
happens and if you love someone you love them with everything they have or don't have, and make it work. My kids are very sensitive to me and other people around them who are sick or disabled. I have a 12 year old who volunteers at a nursing home, I know its because she has grown up around a parent who has needs that gives her the desire to help other people. This past year I was dx with MS, and as a family we were ready for the challenge, my 12 year comes down once a week on the night that I have to take a shot of medicine in my muscle,( which I hate to do) and she holds me in her arms as my husband gives me the shot. we are very close as a family. My sickness has helped make me and my husband and our kids the kind of selfless compassionate people we are. No I wish I didn't have any of these things but something that isn't so great was turned around and used for good in the lives of everyone in my family, that I wouldn't trade for anything. You have diabetes, your still a person who has so much to give to other people. Your diabetes hasn't changed that if anything it has given you the ability to be compassionate and patient and a host of other things because of your condition and what having it has created in you as a person. I think it would be a shame if you denied someone the opportunity to get to know all the good things about you. Don't let your diabetes stop you from living a full life because it really shouldn't. As for what normal guy would want to marry you, the right one. He is out there somewhere don't think your damaged, your not. Someone is going to love you for everything not just one thing. Marriage is about being there no matter what happens. Are you afraid that the person you marry because its arranged is going to be upset that your a diabetic?  You are you, your not your diabetes, thats just a part of who you are. I don't know about arranged marriages so I cant really comment about that, you would need to explain it to me a little better because I think thats were this concern of your is stemming from.

[JDRF Volunteer CB]

I have been diabetic for 27 years too, and to tell you the truth, I think my husband is quite lucky to have married me.
You are not damaged goods because you are diabetic, in fact diabetes has helped me to be the person I am today.  Of course I wish I were not diabetic, but I don't want to look at it that way.  I like to think I am more compassionate, smarter, more organized, better at thinking outside the box, have a great sense of humor and the list goes on, because I am diabetic.

My whole point is please don't blame yourself or look down on yourself because you have diabetes.   I don't know anything about arranged marriages, so I can't help you there, but I do know something about having good self-esteem.  

There are no guarantees in marriage.  Partners get sick all of the time and a loving spouse stands by you in healthy and not healthy times.