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694885 tn?1232653548
Attention WOMEN who messed with a Married Man
I want to hear from those women who have felt that they had a right to interfer with a marrige and chase after a married man.

Come on....if your women enough to play the game then you should be woman enough to discuss this with a wife who has been on the receiving end.
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973741 tn?1342346373
I hate the women allow themselves to be used for sex by being with a married man.  Sad.  
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Avatar universal
maybe yur husband was just a dog denied you and your kids took his wedding ring off and played very single should the woman be sorry for not finding his social and doing a background check ?(NOo) yu knew who yu married he probably cheated before yu tied the knot but yu thought a peice of paper would change something
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973741 tn?1342346373
I think that women that knowing ly sleep with a married man are very sad creatures and those that hook up with men they don't know very well are equally so.  Very sad and usually lonely old ladies they become.  
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973741 tn?1342346373
I am personally lucky by the way that my husband has remained faithful in our 16 years together.  We are committed and in love.  

I personally would counsel ANY woman considering an affair with a married man to think twice.  They are being used.  And I also would try to explain to a woman to not just give her body away to anyone who shows interest . . .  to get to know them better.  Also very sad that so many women are so desperate for attention that they find themselves with anyone available to them.  So little respect for themselves they show at that time.  so I would want to help a woman see that in herself.  

And I would always be on the victim's side . . .  the wife.  
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1894410 tn?1364193655
Madison you sound like a very unhappy woman, may be too many married man have promise you the world and you always end up alone. I understand when a woman believe she is dating a wonderful man only to found out he is married. I was married for 30 years when my husband cheated with some dirty bimbo who lived next door and knew we were married. You say it is between him and me, yes that is true. However she knew we had children and she didn't care and that is when it is wrong. Did I forgive my husband, no I am divorcing him, do I regret the last 30 years, never we had a great marriage, 5 beautiful children and I was very happy and content, until his parents died and he suffered a bad depression, with drinking, smoking and this bimbo. I will continue to have a great life and I will be a great grandma, on my own. Why?because it is my choice and I choose my future, unlike bimbos I don't need a man to make me whole. I suggest you talk to a Councillor because you are one angry person. When you experience real love with someone who isn't married you will never be with a married man again, why, because you will realize you deserve better.
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My fiance who has been with me for 6 years had been having a platonic emotional relationship with a girl at work. I found the texts and emails they shared. Even though he would constanly tell her he is deeply inlove with me and they are just friends he would still flirt with her. She chased him for 3 years the first year he ignored her but after that he realized the high level of attention she gave him. she would listen to him and not nag like a wive back at home would. She would compliment him on his looks attire etc. He did not become phycical with her. And in his head he assumed that just because he knew she would do anything to have him and he gave her back attention when she would come around so easy but it never became physical he did not felt he was cheating. It still makes him a cheater in my book.

My fiance should not give any woman attention but me. He should not let anyone else fill special. When I found out and confronted her being the little coward she is she would ask my fiance what to say. She emailed me and told me she had been cheated on and had broken her own engagement before. She would never go after a taken man bc she knows what it feels like. That all everyone did at their office was talk about his wedding. etc. He would tell her to ignore me because he even admited being scared that i would make her do smth crazy. if he pushed her away drastically she could turn around and try to f him up at work, so he would just ignore her. She called his phone like 35 times i picked up and she yelled at me. He took the phone from me and yelled back at her telling her to not talk to me like that. Things got out of hand and i was equally his fault for persuing for attention. She said what do you want me to do? she called me a coward, home wreker.. etc and he would just tell her. The friendship it's over go your way.

I blame both of them. Her for meeting me, telling me all he does is talk about me in the office and that i was so luckty he loved me so much. and knowing what a wonderful man he was to me. But then turning around and trying to take that away. And I blame him for jeopardizing what we had. He might as well had slept with her.  

never in our 6 years together i felt theatnen he ate lunch with me almost everyday, came home to me every night. Would call me the minute he left work. Never gave one reason to suspect he was giving someone else attention for the thril and the ego busting.

the minute a find out, he wanted nothing to do with her. He ignored her calls, texts etc. Quit his job, sought out religious help. Started going to counseling. But some how to me it isn't enough. The emotional betrayal of flirting with someone just because they are there, easy and available is just as bad as physical betrayal. Maybe even worst. Our wedding is supposed to happen in 5 months. He's gone above and beyond to do what ever he can for me to forgive this. But i still can't decide if to believe the man I thought he was for all this time or kick him to the curve. He adores my family. Treats me like a princes. Compliments me daily doesn't neglet any of my needs or desires. But it is also one of the reason why I can't wrap my head around why he betrayed me like that.
Thoughts?
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Avatar universal
I just wanna say that HOLDING ON to the ANGER and HURT is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die......
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WHEN ARE YOU SAD ******* WIVES GOING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILTY THAT IT WAS YOUR LAME HUSBANDS IDEA TO CHEAT????
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Wow... This has turned into a great conversation (minus the rude name calling and insults) really NO need for that! Everyone has their opinions and should be able to post them free from the fear of child like insults... That being said I would like to say how extremely important it is for women to stick together!! Married or committed men are OFF LIMITS... IF HE WILL CHEAT WITH YOU, HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU. If you feel that"it's different, he would never do that to me" you're wrong! His WIFE probably didn't think so either! Married men use women as distractions from real life. The stories they tell to get laid are pathetic...you know the ones.."my wife never shows me attention, we never have sex, blah frickin blah! But as u can see 80% of the time when he has used your body he goes HOME to his "miserable" wife... Please women, don't fall into the trap! Women need to STAND UNITED!! Lets quit hurting each other...
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Avatar universal
I was with a man for 3 years and never once found out he was married. I met his family, been to his house, and he played the game so well that his wife and I never knew anything about the other for 3 whole years. It's not always the other woman fault. I did everything I could to convince his wife that I didn't know about her but from her side of it I wouldn't have believed me either. I did find out that 6 months after all this happened they did file for Divorce. She moved out of state and he is living with his patents. I'm sorry that your man did this to you but try to understand that some guys are really good liars.
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973741 tn?1342346373
I think some situations happen in which a woman can be completely fooled and that is most unfortunate.  I'm sorry that happened to you kono.  that must have hurt to find out the truth.  

To badlady, sure, husbands should not cheat. It very well could be there idea but only a weak minded woman would go along with it.  And often they do not expect enough out of a person to want a free man.  I would not take someone's left overs.  I want a man all for myself.  So, yes men are definitely wrong for cheating.  But their willing partners who know they were married are also unethical and karma does bite hard.  

luck to all married couples out there making it work and women who are trying to get back on track after being fooled by a gross man.  The knowing women who got into relationships with married men can wait their turn for karma to find them.  peace all
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i know this is from yrs ago but i just wanted to comment i caught this ***** messaging my husband i textd back like if i was him thn after she replied im going to miss u am going to cry for ur fault i was like who is this and wht do u want with my husband and she said o u have nothing to worry about hea just my friend hes told me he loves u and bla bla bla but she keepd on messeging and me and my husband got into it and he said she was just a friend but they keeped on with there **** and i find out later shes sending pics dedicating song and everything i told him ur going to be doing this **** get the **** out of house and i textd her respect a marriage if not ur someone elses because ***** was married herself and she textd back ur right i appaligize dont worry am not going to text again ever but they keepd there **** so i textd her again u think ur husband is going to like it when ge finds out ***** is like i dnt care if he finds out the faster he finds out the faster i take urs away i was like really ***** will see and me and my husband got into it again told him to get the **** out of the house he sweard up and down he would never talk to her again i told him trust me ama find out if u keep ur **** and sure inof i caught him again so i kicked his *** i beat the living **** out of him kicked him the **** out and told him later down the road u tell me if all of tht was worth it and he started begging i was like nope get the **** out get the **** out hes like its not worth it am sorry i love u i was like nope get the **** out so thru his *** out and tht ***** i made sure everybody knew she was a ***** tht messed with married man while been married her self
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973741 tn?1342346373
Oh my goodness.  First, yes this is an old post.  SEcond, I do not advocate retaliation and 'letting everyone know'.  That is immature.  I'm not one for that type of thing and you have to be careful that it doesn't come back to bite you when she begins to have a case against you for harassment or slander.  One always has to ask how she had your husband's number.  While I don't condone in women being with a taken or married man, I also think we need to put the blame equally on the person that has the partner/spouse.  good luck
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973741 tn?1342346373
Okay, re read the above post and I guess she did kick her husband out.  But in all honesty, the beating him up and all of that is unnecessary.  although, I read on another forum that you are trying to get pregnant, then you are pregnant, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, very conflicting information.  Not sure what is going on but it is unwise to EVER be violent with your spouse no matter what they've done.  Leave with your dignity rather than resorting to the lowest of low, violence.  good luck to all
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Avatar universal
I think the saddest thing to me is hearing women use the phrase " This woman messed up our home " "She chased my husband and led him astray"......Look at the big picture, Some women stay married to there husband for 15+ years and they claim to have this wonderful, inseparable bond. But Yet ONE single woman is the cause of destroying a foundation that was built before she came along. What most women fail to realize is, It was already broken. There were signs that you overlooked, Spice and passion died out and the thrill that was once there has now become dull! And there is no one working to get it back.  This will cause major problems,  Every Man wants spice, Passion and desire. Something that has to progressed as time moves on. The problem is NOT these other women its the women that say "This is my Husband "...Well if that foundation Is so strong in that marriage of yours, that husband of yours will think twice before adding a third wheel...But if Not this isn't the man GOD Gave you! Anything from him has order and No Other Woman can destroy it......
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973741 tn?1342346373
Actually nasara, a lot of men just think with their genitals (and women at times too) and make stupid mistakes.  

I do agree that the man or married partner involved is most to blame.  It is not their partners fault if they cheat and unfair to say things like that.  For, there is a whole host of reasons why a person becomes weak and cheats.  Personally, I think it is a character flaw and a sign of a weak and damaged soul but there are other reasons.  Sure, a marriage might not be working well but that does not mean that someone should break the vow and go outside the marriage.  They work on it.  What does the partner considering cheating bring to the marriage?  What spice and passion do they provide to their partner?  What have they communicated in terms of things that would improve the relationship?  it's not a spouses fault for a partner cheating.  Instead, it is the wrong order of things for someone to go outside of the marriage.  You work on things at home first.  If it doesn't work, then you divorce and you are free to do as you please.  But if you choose to go behind someone's back,  you make your partner a complete victim.

And the poor person that gets involved with the married person?  I feel so bad for them for having such low self worth to settle for that.  Lonely souls desperate for someone.  They set low boundaries and are willing to put up with a man that goes between to places.  I have so much more self respet than that.  Pride even.  I want my own man and I do not share.  I'm nobodies second best.  I'm nobodies side dish.  It would be very hard to live that way in my opinion.  

And there are absolutely low life women that throw themselves at married men.  THEY are awful.  I don't think that this negates the responsibility of a man that gets with them but in their own right, they are pretty scummy.  
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Avatar universal
Bottom line is men think with their smaller head.  Do you know how many married  men have pursed me!?   They lie.....  I know you don't want to hear this, BUT, if he's happy at home, he's not looking.    And if he's looking, 100 percent odds say he's lying about his marital status.  Too many single woman get suckered in by these guys...  You can blame the "other woman" all you want, but if he was a decent man to begin with nothing would happen.
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973741 tn?1342346373
Oh, I think many happily married men will have sex with someone else.  I don't think it has that much to do with home in a lot of cases.  I don't blame another woman that was lied to.  She couldn't help what she didn't know.  If she knows, that is a different story.  But I don't think it is fair to say that a man who cheats is unhappy at home.  Like you said, the little head needs constant reassurance and attention.  And opportunity speaks to that.  

But wow, this is an old thread that just won't die.  Geez, it's several years old.  The original poster is long gone.  
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Avatar universal
Very old thread but this subject will always be something to talk about...UNFORTUNATELY... Its so sad..
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Avatar universal
Agree with Ohnonotagain514.......

If everything is great at home then the man isn't seeking sex outside the home period.

An affair or cheating is a symptom of a relationship with serious issues that need addressing and most of the time it isn't about the sex per se......it's about how the man feels with the other woman.

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973741 tn?1342346373
Old thread folks. Please start your own threads for this discussion regarding cheating and your husbands or how this affects you personally.  It's an age old discussion with different points of view.  

I would venture a guess that all sorts of people cheat for all sorts of reasons.  It's unfair to claim to know why or why not a person cheats on their partner and I sure hope I've never done so. There would be no one person that would know this for everyone as all people are different in terms of what motivates them.  Some may be unhappy at home and some just may be out of town and see the opportunity and go for it with no intention But the partner at home being cheated on is the victim and for that person, I always stand up for them.  

One thing I do agree ohnonotagain and THANK YOU for saying it is that if someone is decent (and I'll add of strong character), you don't have this problem.  

Again, this is an old thread and the original poster is long gone.  Best of luck to all and may NO ONE have to suffer a cheating partner again.  I know, dream on.  But it is painful and I hate for anyone to go through that.  And as far as when I was single, I would have hated to be involved in a scenario that caused that hurt for another woman by being with her husband.  peace
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Avatar universal
Its not her its him!!!
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Avatar universal
TAKES 2 TO TANGO SWEETIE SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU !
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973741 tn?1342346373
You're not breaking anything to me babygurly22.  this is an old post and the original poster is long gone.  

Please start your own threads.  thank  you.  I hope all who have been cheated on find peace and the same for those that were the cheaters and the used ones the cheater was with.  peace to all.  
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Avatar universal
I agree..but this isn't mportant enogh to...WHOEVER.....because they haven't dealt wt it I guess.
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Avatar universal
Yes...it goes both ways but it's up to thewoman if it happens  or not . We re so much stronger than men when I comes to cheatin' on ur spouse . Does it really need to happen? True love ALWYS gets back together so why **** it up. If u do feel u just want to do it.at least don't get caugt Be escret and don't hurt ur loved one.
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I understand this post is old but I was the other woman in my husbands first marriage. I am willing to talk about it and answer any questions
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973741 tn?1342346373
Yes.  It is an old post.  Please post your own question as it is better than dredging old posts back to the top so real time posts fall below it.  thank you
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I met my husband when I was in my early 20's. He was married with no kids. I actually worked with his wife and we were friends. They had a very rocky marriage. Neither had cheated that I am aware of. We all partied and stayed up all hours. His wife in I worked in a bar at the time. She was working a nightshift and he called and asked if I wanted to come over and have a few drinks. We had innocently flirted on occasion so I knew what could happen if I acccepted the invite but I went anyways. Well this is the part that I am ashamed of, not only did we have sex that night we continued having an affair for over a year. Everytime she worked a nightshift that I wasn't scheduled I went to her house. She never suspected a thing. I was young and had no intentions on settling down so we never even spoke of him leaving her for me. We were "living in the moment."  Well I didn't know that excessive drinking could counter act your birth control, I do now! I ended up pregnant. I wasn't having sex with anyone else so there was not a question as to who the father was.

I'm sure this next sentence will get tons of criticism; I am a Christian and attend church every Sunday, have ever since I was a little girl, so abortion was not an option. Me and my now husband spoke about what we should do and I have him a "get out of jail free card." I told him specifically I knew he was married and I never wanted his marriage to break up because of me. He said he couldn't do that. We decided to tell her the WHOLE truth, we left nothing out. This was more his idea than mine, he felt he atleast owed her that. It did not go well, infact if I wasn't pregnant I do believe she would of physically attacked me. I left their house that night not knowing what to expect but I wasn't going to hold him to what he said about being in our child's life.

I kept my distance for weeks, even quit my job because I wanted to make things easier on her. I had just graduated with my masters in childhood development and had some promising leads to start my career, as to where she never attended college and who have a harder time.about three weeks after we told her the news she shows up at my house I had just bought crying. As soon as I opened the door she just started accusing me of.....well pretty much everything I was guilty of except one thing, I was not trying to steal him, never was and at that time had no intentions of it. This was all in the doorway so I invited her in. I explained to her I absoulty did not want to "be" with her husband and even though she said "you can't have him, he is mine," I swore to her those are not my intentions. I explained to her everything I said to him about the "get out of jail free card" and it's his, and hers if they are going to stay together, weather they are in my baby's life. She left that night and the next morning I received a call from him saying they wanted to meet.

Ok, I'm going to skip details because this part is long. If you would like them just ask and I will gladly fill you in on specifies but basically we all three came to an agreement that what we had done was wrong but she hadn't been Mrs. Perfect wife so they were going to work it out and "start over." She forgave both of us and she was adamant they the three of us co-parent. I had NO problem with this at all and was actually glad they decided to work it out.

My daughter is born. We all went through the pregnNcy together, in fact she didn't miss even one appt! They gradually grew apart but me not my daughter had any involvement in the cause of their divorce. They were divorced for over a year before me and him even considered anything between us. Honestly I hadn't even had the thought until me and my daughter were at her 2nd wedding to her now husband. My daughter was the flower girl. She continued her role as "step mom" even after the divorce. When she told me they were divorcing she begged me not to take my daughter away from her. She took her regularly still on her own and they have a wonderful bond.

Anyways, I was at her wedding still single but very much happy with my life. My career had taken off, my daughter is/was the best thing that ever happened to me, and she had a involved loving father and stepmother to help me with my demanding work schedule, things were great. I was in the back room with her while she changed into her travel clothes and she looked me in the eyes and said, Mandee, Carl and I have been divorced for over a year don't you think it's time you gave (my daughter name) her family she should of had since day one. You two were ment to be and the sooner you pull your head out your *** the better."

Shortly after I married my daughters dad and we now have a son as well. I have never been happier. My friend has two little girls and is happily married to her 2nd husband. We are family.

People can judge and "hate" all they want but not all affairs have negative consequences. People will treat you the way you allow and your life is what you make it. We took what could of been a devastating situation and turned it into a very loving unique family.

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8533045 tn?1398577558
WHY R U ABUSING YOURSELF TO SAY ITS NOT THE HUSBAND/ OR WIFES FAULT INFADELITY IN A MARRAGE IS BETWEEN HUSBAND AND A WIFE IT IS HIS OR HER FAULT TOR HAVING THE AFFAIR NOT THE OTHER PERSON THEY HAD THE AFAIR WITH COME ON YOU JUMP TO BLAME THE OTHER PERSON WELL  BY YOU CONDEMING THEM FOR MAKING YOUR HUSBAND CHEAT ON U , IN THE EYES OF GOD, I DO BELIEVE YOUR CHEATING YOURSELF FOR MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM CHEATING WHITCH I BELIEVE IS A SIN ALSO I COULD BE WRONG BUT I AM NOT IN YOUR SHOES EVERYONE WILL ANSWER TO GOD FOR HIM OR HER SINS SO THINK ABOUT IT IT IS YOUR CHOICE AND IF YOU CHOSE WRONG WELL THAT IS A CHOICE AND YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOUR SELF I AM NOT FOR EATHER OF THE CHEATING A HOLES BUT NOW I HAVE TO ASK TO BE FORGIVEN FOR JUDGEING ANOTHER PERSON I HOPE THIS HELP AND OPENS YOUR EYES I GOD WE TRUST NEVER IN ANYONE ELSE REQUIRES PROFF THANKS TARGETFIRE
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973741 tn?1342346373
Infidelity is always wrong and indicates a lack of character.  good luck
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry, your post couldn't be directed towards me, right? If it is you seriously misunderstood my story
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973741 tn?1342346373
Infidelity is always wrong and shows a lack of character.  

This is an old thread.  
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Avatar universal
I agree , it was/ is something I am not proud of. It's not something we share with new people in our life either. A person actions from a particular situation doesn't define their character on who they are then or now. People make mistakes and what defines the person they are is how they handle the aftermath of such situations. My friend has never judged me me or held anything against me since the beginning of the situation. I was a horrible friend, if you can even call me that, but she saw the good qualities I possessed instead of the negative and chose to c  
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973741 tn?1342346373
Again, this is an old thread.  thank you
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Avatar universal
Continue our friendship. She is my absolute best friend in the world now because she posses the ability to forgive. She always has been and I believe always will be a better person than myself. I would not/could not forgive such a betrayal from someone so close to me. Her friendship and strength has made me a better person.
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973741 tn?1342346373
Sigh, this is an old post. thank you.
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Avatar universal
So awesome, blessed lady, you need to be many of men's friend of inspiration, it comes down to a choice, a true man or women lives true to theire word, if you are married, yes you hurt and betray your spouse, they are innocent, the cheating in true spouse, betrays their self, they carry the weight, the guilt, it is so sad to see how unaccountable people are, personally, to and for others.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word is God, God is Love, His word is truth, if we don't have him in and with us, or your mate, Good luck, trusting an earthly man( women) s word,  if it isn't endorsed by and with God, it will not be true.  Lived, and breathed it for 33 years,  it does take two to make a relationship, one can't do it alone, one Apple can spoil many,
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Avatar universal
So a man or woman engaging in an affair wouldn't happen if things were all good at home ???? people cheat just cause its there sometimes
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973741 tn?1342346373
This is a very old post.  VERY OLD.  Old.  Old enough that it would be great if we could post our own post instead of using this one.  good luck
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Avatar universal
amen..
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Avatar universal
This is a great statement!  The husbands ARE at fault.  Some men are dealing with unresolved issues, just as well as some women.  Broken women attract broken men and play games with each other's lives.  A married man was in pursuit of me until I so lovingly informed him that I was not born to be a mistress.  When a woman values herself, she will never allow a married man to sweet talk her into trying to fill "his" selfish void.  It was hard in the beginning because I was separated and celibate for over 5 years; however, I had to remember my worth!  I will be honest, he is a good looking man; I DO MEAN GOOD LOOKING; Woooooooooooooo,  and I almost fell in love with him.  After crying knowing that our texting one another was beginning to weigh heavily on my heart, I HAD TO MAKE A DECISION to Delete the texts, his pictures and everything else to remind me of my "diamond" status!  I began with 21 seconds, then 21 minutes, then 21 hours, then 21 days, then 21 months eventually the desires of wanting him ALL WENT AWAY!  I must remain valuable to my God first, then to myself !!!   I would NEVER wish for a good man to leave his wife and children for me.  How selfish and corrupt; seriously it is not worth one night of GOOD SEX.   I constantly remind myself the I Was Not Born to Be a Mistress ~ I Was Born to Be Treasured By A Real Husband.  My Own!  
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11431787 tn?1418167784
Love the happy ending. Wish I could have said the same my husband did have a affair during mlc.  Moved in with the OW / his co-worker he has returned home and is a different person my life will be forever changed. 26 years marriage I still feel like I am in shock , I have my down days I love him but I still feel the hurt and pain I take it a day at a time.  Hopefully time will heal me. I have a really big trust issues now I have to stay in prayer.
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Avatar universal
I think what normally happens is this married guy does not wear a wedding ring and appears to be single.  He ask women on dates they say yes not knowing he is married.  At some point they begin to think well why have I not been to his house yet.  It comes out that he is married and from there they either decided to keep seeing him because they are involved already or they decide not to see him.  I do not think women go out looking for married men or chasing them.  I think just at their wife was deceived by the man so is the other woman.  Why people blame any of this on the women at all is a huge surprise to me.  Only that man is responsible for his behavior not the other women or the wife.  Neither one said he please lie to me and deceive me.
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973741 tn?1342346373
Not good when anyone lies and deceives another.  I think once someone knows the truth though, it is on them to decide to have a more quality person in their life and a more quality relationship in their life and to BE a more quality person.  Love doesn't conquer all and just like any other bad relationship, ladies (or men if they were the deceived party) need to walk when they know the truth.  

This is a very old post by the way.  PLEASE start your own posts about your own situation.  good luck
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Avatar universal
Thank you for saying it.  My 10 year marriage to my best friend ended 15 years ago when my friend and next door neighbor decided she admired and desired to have a life like mine so much that she decided to relentlessly pursue my husband while I was away at work All day.

I....

Was....

Broken.

But then, now, and also that morning nearly a year after I had to return home from the office to pick up a package that needed to go out that day. It had been nearly a year since the day that would from then on be known as the day "I found them", and also the fateful day I used the "D" word  —that word had not been heard, spoken, or even thought in my house before, and we both knew if it ever was said one time, it was done.   So it was nearly a year after later, when I was tending my garden myself for the 1st time in as long, that he came outside because he needed to tell me something.  He had been living next door to me with her while I stayed inside with my shades drawn tight for fear of catching a glimpse that would break me wide open all over again...... He said to me with tears in his eyes that he had made the biggest mistake of his life losing me. I looked up at his face then, I looked over at their front door and saw her standing just inside, and she too was crying.
"How dare you do that to her after you ended a family to be with her." I said surprisingly calmly. "You made your choice for yourself, and made mine for me too, the day you decided that it was OK for you to date her when you were married. I did not commit to be married to her, nor did she commit to me. HE BROKE IT.  I suggested he go back in that house and do his best to make it right with the one he was with now. (Don't go away mad, just go away.)

I have never regretted another moment of my life in regards to that man since that day. I felt utterly ripped apart and absolutely could not see past hurting everyday beyond what I ever believed I could bear. I literally lost my best friend and my closet friend on the same day in unbelievable betrayal. But later that day when I planted the FOR SALE sign in the yard, I saw the clouds part and the sun shined on me and warmed my forehead...and it felt SO GOOD!! I netted six figures from that sale and had never felt better or more free.

I suppose y'all didn't need all that , but as horrible and shameless and scandalous, and just low down awful it is to date someone who has committed themselves to another family... How much lower and so much more awful to be that rotten cheater!



Thank you for saying it.  My 10 year marriage to my best friend ended 15 years ago when my friend and next door neighbor decided she admired and desired to have a life like mine so much that she decided to relentlessly pursue my husband while I was away at work All day.

I....

Was....

Broken.

But then, now, and also that morning nearly a year after I had to return home from the office to pick up a package that needed to go out that day. It had been nearly a year since the day that would from then on be known as the day "I found them", and also the fateful day I used the "D" word  —that word had not been heard, spoken, or even thought in my house before, and we both knew if it ever was said one time, it was done.   So it was nearly a year after later, when I was tending my garden myself for the 1st time in as long, that he came outside because he needed to tell me something.  He had been living next door to me with her while I stayed inside with my shades drawn tight for fear of catching a glimpse that would break me wide open all over again...... He said to me with tears in his eyes that he had made the biggest mistake of his life losing me. I looked up at his face then, I looked over at their front door and saw her standing just inside, and she too was crying.
"How dare you do that to her after you ended a family to be with her." I said surprisingly calmly. "You made your choice for yourself, and made mine for me too, the day you decided that it was OK for you to date her when you were married. I did not commit to be married to her, nor did she commit to me. HE BROKE IT.  I suggested he go back in that house and do his best to make it right with the one he was with now. (Don't go away mad, just go away.)

I have never regretted another moment of my life in regards to that man since that day. I felt utterly ripped apart and absolutely could not see past hurting everyday beyond what I ever believed I could bear. I literally lost my best friend and my closet friend on the same day in unbelievable betrayal. But later that day when I planted the FOR SALE sign in the yard, I saw the clouds part and the sun shined on me and warmed my forehead...and it felt SO GOOD!! I netted six figures from that sale and had never felt better or more free.

I suppose y'all didn't need all that , but as horrible and shameless and scandalous, and just low down awful it is to date someone who has committed themselves to another family... How much lower and so much more awful to be that rotten cheater!
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Avatar universal
It's not always just one persons fault. If someone is married or with someone else and has intentions on staying with them then yes it's wrong. But some guys/women are good liars. I made a post on here a few days ago about a guy who was engaged but lied to me for two and a half years saying he was separated from his fiancé just waiting for her to get her things together and stuff in order and moving out...he lied and not only did was I a victim but she was to.   Once you find yourself stepping out of your relationship there's something wrong and it's best if you leave it because the pain you'll cause the other person or persons involved is terrible. Guys are very good liars
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Avatar universal
I am so tired of the "Other Woman" being blamed for the affair when she is in all actuality a victim of these cheating men in the same way the wife is a victim. Cheaters are liars who are capable of loving no one other than themselves. The "Other Woman" suffers great emotional damage from the lies of these cheating men and then has to carry the burden of the labels placed on her by society. Instead of blaming these women it is time to start holding these lying men accountable for their actions. Open your eyes and stop letting these men drag their wives and the other woman through emotional mud. It is time for the women who are victimized by these cheating men to stop seeing each other as the enemy, instead they should join forces and address the real source of all their pain...the lying cheating, self-centered, emotionally deviant man they are both involved with.  
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973741 tn?1342346373
Oh my goodness.  This is such an old post.  It dredges up a lot of emotion for all who read it.  Wishing all luck with this touchy subject.  peace
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Avatar universal
What if the man is the one who persistently pursued you? You did not go out of your way to "steal" him, in fact quite the opposite. Rarely replying to his messages not returning his phone calls. He behaves like a single man. Never mentions his wife. I would say the blame lies with him. He's the liar. He's the cheat.  If it wasn't "that" woman, it would be another. It's not always about sex either.  Sometimes it's about friendship.
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