Cant take it....everyday different emotion...why

I am very confused about each day, i seem to have a different emotion, I have been going along really well and then bang I feel like I have no future at all...I start a new job tomorrow and I just cant seem to get it together and I have no idea, how to stop thinking all these different thoughts...I hate being alone and I cant sleep and when I do sleep I dream of my old life....I know things will get better...but come on....this life is hell....I have a concillor, I am keeping busy... and i am doing everything I should to move on...but I hate doing the mowing and moving heavy stuff I hate doing all the stuff he was doing and I know it wasnt much but ....I miss my partner....I dont want him...I just want the company...my ex is still throwing money at the kids and I cant afford milk....it ***** and I am 46 years old and I dont want to start again....I am sorry....It all seems to hard...well I guess I am having a black day today...tell me what you guys went through...please....love Linda

[specialmom]

Hi Linda, these ups and downs are very natural.  You are going through BIG changes.  You've had a loss of the life you knew as well as the excitement of a new future.  Down and then up.  You have reminders about how you've been wronged and reminders that good things await you  Down and then up.  You have the euphoria of getting a pat on the back in the form of a new job and then the anxiety of what this job will be like.  Up and then down.  

It is only natural that you are anxious about starting a new job and that anxiety hits back to thinking of what you've lost in your life/mourning your 'old' life.  I would spend today as a "you" day and go out and do something really great for yourself,  I'd indulge yourself a bit.  That means trashy tabloid magazines for me, fresh flowers and a chocalate bar.  Those are my feel good indulgences that I partake in when I need tlc for myself.  whatever yours are----  do it today!

For tomorrow is a new day and it will have highs and lows but hopefully more highs.  Take peace in knowing that good times are ahead for  you dear.  

[Londres70]

This happened to me too.  You can't snap your fingers and all the pain and suffering is done; give yourself time to adjust and allow these moments. It is almost like you have to "bleed" this out.  

Do you like music or good films?  Turn some music on or watch a dvd movie and make a yummy snack, i.e. popcorn with a little butter and unwind.  

Consider the mowing and lifting great exercises for your conditioning.  It is something that will benefit you in the long run.  

Sounds like you are getting stronger dear.  Keep going and don't look back or down.