My house was turned upside down. my husband of 38 years moved oour daughters best friend in. I filed for
divorce. Our divorce will befinal in 2 weeks. they are getting married that day.. He asked me to re marry him 2weeks ago. I told him i loved him but he said he felt guilty and ashamed.the next day he told me he loves her.
I am not contacting him. Has anyone else been through this/
i wish i could tell you what u want to hear...because after spending 38 yrs with somebody and to feel the ultimate betrayal and trust...i cant begin to imagine how your feeling...so i cant say it will all be ok..an even if he did want to come bk could u ever trust him and be happy again... i think what is done now is done...,it is going to be a long and hard process and a huge change in your life to come to terms with this but you need to find yourself again....it was your daughters friend..how is your daughter?did she know?how are you and your daughter?....look after you and your daughter and screw fkn him.......in time u will see that...
My daughter thinks t is fine she arranged their wedding.She has become just as cold as her father.She is divorcig her husaband because he didn't approve of what her father was doing. Now he is in a new relationship.but he told me today he still loves my daughter and misses her. But he an't tell her that. I told him if he loved her and wanted their family back., He was only causesing pain to his girl friend. and devastting his children. I gave up on my ex. I to believe in karma. I pray for him. But I am starting to adjust to being single.
I'm very sorry for what Your Husband (and Your Daughter too) has put You through. I know this has been extremely Painful and Shocking after 38 YEARS!! That being said, I'd like to address Your question: "do Men in midlife crisis ever recover"?
Personally, I don't believe in the term "midlife CRISIS". I do understand that we ALL, Men AND Women BOTH go through "midlife" and, at that time, We often assess and reassess Our Lives, our Purpose, our "whatever". BUT, I think the term "midlife CRISIS" can be an EXCUSE for doing something foolish. I think too many of us accept this as an "excuse" when in reality, there IS no excuse for bad behavior - "midlife CRISIS" has become a "handy" term for certain behaviors that has much more to do with CHARACTER than with midlife. We ALL go through midlife, but we don't all do hateful, hurtful things to our Families. We go through midlife without turning Others (most significantly Our Partners') lives upsidedown!!
Certainly, there are Some who might disagree with me, but I have a question for You. If He were to claim "midlife crisis", would that excuse His behavior in Your book? I just wonder if You would/could accept that as a reason for what He has done?
I know that moving onward is difficult and awkward (been there, done that) BUT in this situation I don't see how He has left You any choice, other than to rise ABOVE this!!
Good Luck. This isn't an easy journey but my hope is that one day You will feel You are having a better life than You would ever have had with Him.
I suspect that a Man who could do this to His Wife, His Family, was NOT the Man You THOUGHT He was, and that if You were to look back with open eyes, You would see other things You pushed "under the rug". I'm sorry You had to learn of His shortcomings in such a hard way.
Good Luck To You
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I know it is a difficult to get through. My spouse of 34 years is involved with a 24 year old harlot (he’s 56). Our youngest child is 28. We attended church and married under the Christian covenant with my believing the union was until death. This is uncharacteristic for him. This is not my husband and I feel like he has died and another person has taken over his personality. It has been suggested that he is going through a mid-life crisis. I kicked him out of our marital house in April and he moved into another house that we own. Two months ago he rented a house right across the street from the house I still reside in. It has been devastating seeing his car parked across the street when he comes to pick her up for their outings or the nights that he stays there. His harlot is a known heroin addict. My spouse used to spend more time with her two illegitimate children then his own grandchildren. This summer the county ended up taking the children away from her due to her addiction. I can imagine how pleased he was now that he could have her undivided attention. She doesn’t work, so therefore he pays for everything; down to her cigarettes, whereas he used to say that smokers were scum of the earth. Due to her extreme irresponsibility of being evicted so many times; his name is on the lease and utilities. Her driver’s license was revoked by the court. She has been arrested for theft and has even stolen from her family members. My spouse and I were still communicating until recently. He told me this week that he no longer wanted a relationship with me and I needed to contact a lawyer for a dissolution.
Our two daughters aren’t happy with what he is doing but yet they won’t confront him about it. I’m the one who gets the backlash on how I should just let it go and get on with my life. This is very hurtful indeed.
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