Good news!

Today, my mom and dad had a hearing and everything is working out for my dad (which is who I live with). Some background information: my mom left my dad in June 2006 thinking that I would move with and stay there. I ended up moving back to my dad in August 2006 after my mom gave me a choice of what to do. She was bitter for me moving back. In March 2007, she met a guy through MySpace and got engaged to him. They want to get married after the divorce is over. One weekend she didn't even let me come down because she was going on a date with him. It was my birthday weekend. She now never calls me or sends me anything. She wasn't paying my dad any money to take care of me and the whole time they were married she was making him pay child support. She cheated on him while they were married (the guy that she was cheating on my dad with died a couple weeks ago). A couple weeks ago, I was with my brother and aunt and we went to my great-grandma's 90th birthday (which is my mom's grandma) and our mom didn't even say anything to us. She just sat at the table right next to us, ate, and then stormed out of there. She then proceeded to blame my grandma for not letting her know that I was gonna be there and give me permission!

Now enough with the bad news, today my dad went to a hearing. She isn't getting alimony (which she wanted) and she isn't getting help paying with the court/lawyer expenses. She is gonna get some of my dad's pension and annuity, though, something that couldn't be controlled. That was the hearing in court, and now all that's left is papers to sign. My dad's lawyer said the divorce should be over in about 2 weeks! Thank goodness, this 4 years is long enough!!

[SeriousSam]

I am SO glad for you and proud for you for making your wishes known!  I wish you the best and only wish my daughters weren't so beaten down.  Usually kids and dads are the losers in these things because most lawyers are just too lazy.

[sarabaloo]

Thank you! I wish the best for you, too! Luckily my dad found a really good lawyer who personally went through divorce herself! She actually told my dad today that she hates seeing other people go through it. He had a former lawyer who was such a jerk and ended up suing him in the end! The rough stuff only leads you to something better!!

[specialmom]

It is nice to hear from the child in divorce.  So often we hear what goes on in the heads of the adults in the situation but never the kids involved.  I'm glad that you get to stay where you would like and with the parent that is working hard to care for you.  I hope that someday you are able to reconcile with your mom.  Relationships with a parent --------- whether it is a mom or a dad that has so much pain associated with it can hurt us emotionally in ways we aren't even aware of.  I always encourage people to keep the door to communication open.  I'm glad today went well for you in court.  Wishing you continued "good news"!

[sarabaloo]

Wow thank you so much! You are so sweet! I am aware that one day I should continue communication with my mom and hope that someday I will. I would just like to sit down with her and my older brother and discuss our feelings without her storming off in the middle of the conversation. She is afraid to admit she is wrong and honestly, I don't think she ever will. My older brother feels the same way. She can been a very stubborn person.

[specialmom]

Well, it is really hard to deal with someone like that.  And right now with the court things and where you are at in life, it would probably be fruitless to attempt to get her to admit her bad deeds.  Someday when it is all less fresh and painful you may get your chance to tell her how she has hurt you.  And that is what it is all about.  Often our anger is really hurt.  And your mom has acted like a shmuck.  You have every right to be furious.  But I know that under the anger is hurt.  But I also know that as time goes on, the reconciliation with a parent can be very beneficial for our emotions regarding our childhood.  We all are like little kids inside.  We want to be loved.  Even if it comes at 25 or 35 or 55--------- it will still feel good to have her put her arms around you and tell you how much she loves you and that she is sorry for all the mistakes she's made.  She may never get to the mistakes part . . . but that warmth of parental love (father or mother) feels good no matter how old we are.  So that is why I say to always keep that door open for future communication.  I have a feeling she'll regret her actions with you.  

Anyway, I wish you well.  You sound like a strong and smart young lady.

[sarabaloo]

Again, thank you a lot! All I really want is my mom to give me that big hug and just admit she is wrong and that she is sorry. I know what you're talking about when you say how wonderful the warmth of parental love is, I feel all happy just when my dad calls me "honey" lol. Is that weird?

[specialmom]

Not weird at all.  I'm in my 40's and feel the same way about my dad.  I'm so glad that you and your dad are so close.  Celebrate this day for the success it has been!

[sarabaloo]

I most definitely will! Today was a good day!