Heartbroken Daughter...

I'm about 4 months pregnant. A couple weeks ago my dad found out my mom was having and affair, but it was only a suspicion. Today he found out that she was having one with a man from their job. My parents work in the sale place for years. I'm just so worried for my dad, he just found out he has diabetes and it hurts me so bad, I don't want to vent with my husband. So can please someone give me some comfort and advise. Thank you! :'c

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, you're put in a bad spot, because it is their life and their marriage, not yours, but naturally you can't help hurting for them.  And the hormones of pregnancy will make it worse.

In your shoes, given that you don't want to unload on your husband, I would talk to a counselor.  Just lay it out, and cry and be sorry, and figure out where the boundaries are (you have to give them the kind of space you would want them to give to you if the situations were reversed).  Remember, it really isn't about you, and your goal is to be there for them but not take it on as your problem.

In the meantime, please also remember that the baby you are carrying might ease both of their pain when the time comes.

Good luck!

[specialmom]

Hi.  Oh, I'm so sorry!!!  I agree with anniebrooke.  It is hard to observe our parents in their marriage when it isn't going well.  

I want to add one thing to anniebrooke and this might be hard.  This really is between them as anniebrooke says and I would try not to take sides.  I know your mom is the guilty party and she messes up everyone's life if she messes up your parents marriage and they divorce.  But long ago, I took my mom's side over my dad.  And my dad was definately the guilty party.  The thing is, I could have shared my disappointment with him without having 'teams'.  

I only say this because at the end of the day----  you want to have a relationship with both of them (unless there is something else about your mom that we don't know like she abused you or something . . .).

Your dad is going to need someone to talk to and while you can listen a little, you really can't listen to it all as his daughter.  So, I'd recommend to him to see a therapist.  It is too much for an adult child (pregnant with a baby) to take on the stress of their parents marriage.  So, be supportive, love him but don't fall into the role as confidante or friend at this point.  

Those are just my suggestions but also know that you should do what feels right in your  heart.  I wish you peace and agree----  this baby will be a  blessing to all of you.  Peace

[mirisbabys]

THANK YOU LADIES......

[ku111]

I am really sorry.  I was given this advise and I will pass it to you.  Even if your parents are having trouble this changes nothing about their love for you.  Neither one did anything to you but they did this to each other.  Just as in any marriage.  It's really hard when it is your parents.  I hope they work this out and the outcome is the best for both.  As parents, we try to shield our children from problems no matter how old they are.  This baby is going to put a smile on everyone nomatter.  Continue to be their daughter.  You may not like what has happened nor some decisions but your love for both of them has not changed.