Help

Dear Fellows,

My husband and I have been married for 12 years, 11 of which were spent drinking and damaging our marriage .  We've both been sober for 1 year next month and have found a wonderful church we both love.  Out of nowhere last week he said he didn't want to be married anymore and he doesn't love me anymore.

One month after we married his son of 9 years had to come live with us becuase his mother was on drugs and took him to buy drugs in the middle of the night.  He witnessed his mother getting stabbed 13 times.  He was illerate and barely able to hold eating utensils.  For the next 10 years we raised him, sent him to therapy, sent him to private schools, tried to make his live as normal as we could for newlyweds with no chance of building our marriage.  My husband left the child rearing almost soley on my shoulders.  Add to that my alcohol and problem and his alcohol and pornography addiction my husband went through, it was very rough.  

I'm so resentful that after giving all I had for the past 10 years for a young man to this day still hates everything I stand for - (serious mother issues) , the things he did while acting out at our home were horridand there is not need to elaborate.

I honestly thought that we were on our way finally to a happy marriage, a sober marriage.

Honestly, I'm barely hanging on .  My husband agreed to go to our pastor for counseling, to which he was advised that after all he has experienced in his life, he needed TO LEARN how to love me and that leaving would be the wrong, easy thing to do.  He told us to hang in there for 90 days and follow his instruction and promised things would be much better.

I don't think he is going to follow that, I think he is going to leave and leaveme with the house and all of it's responsiblities .  I feel totally lost and I need help.  I'm leaning hard on God's love and praying hard for strength and guidance.  

If anyone is reading this please help.

[chigirl29]

I hope he decides to stay in the marriage.  Marriage go through times like this.  I wanted to leave my marriage once and now I am completely happy that I did not--things worked out.  I thought I didn't love my husband anymore, but I did--the love just changed.  Talk to him about how love changes and how he views things now.  I never fell out of love with my husband--I just loved him in a different way--and it ended up being more intimate and special.  I will remember you and your family in my prayers tonight.