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Honey left me pregnant and broke.
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Honey left me pregnant and broke.

How can a man leave a women who is pregnant (high risk)? This is my first chips but its but his so this isn't his first rodeo with pregnancy. He just didn't seem to care. I know he feels like he can't provide for us so its better to just part ways but I feel its so selfish! Its would be so much easier for me mentally if I had his support. He's done a 360 from the man that I knew. Its like he has lost respect for me. I know he's just as confused bc he called me last week after a month of treating me like **** manipulating me for sex and money he called saying he mused me and wanted us back but where the f is he now! I'm so hurt.and now he had this plan to move out of state! Really really are you kidding me! We had a great relationship. Our only arguments were stemmed by him not feeling confident in providing for us but I was there to hold him and tell him we will get through this. Please some advice. I wish I could fine the words to say to get him to see its wrong.  Why do I have to go through this without him. He should be with me every night taking care of me like I take care of him. I feel so bad for this baby. I barely have money to eat properly and I'm so depressed. He knows all this and still is out and about living a joyful life. Or so it seems
4 Comments Post a Comment
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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, I'm sorry this has happened.  Ugh, I wish that a couple were completely stable before they bring a child into it.  He's always legally responsible for that child financially you know.  You sue for paternity and child support and should absolutely do this as it is what is right and fair for your child.  Do you think his moving out of state is part of his not wanting to give his child any money??  You can still sue for paternity but just make sure you know where he's going (helpful if you have his social secutity number) ---  but it makes it harder.  

He, to be flat out honest, sounds like a total loser/creep.  Not trying to offend you but you say that he treated you badly, doesn't want to DO something so he can provide better (go to trade school or college, work another job, etc.), has other kids (does he provide financially for them??  Again, a man needs to take care of his responsibilities or . . . they aren't a man), you say he was working you for sex and money----  really?  The pregnant woman he is leaving was still available to give him sex and money?  This is where you need to not be his door mat.

My best advice is to count him out at this point.  You don't want a man child like this guy anyway.   You deserve better and should want a better man in your life.  Love does NOT conquer all.  Love is simply an emotion and should not rule all of your decisions.  Especially when it leads you to making really bad ones.  So, I'd consider him gone.  He's not dependable anyway.

So, then you start planning for the child you are carrying.  How are YOU going to support this child?  (yes, sue for child support but you need to be able to live comfortably with or without that as sometimes it doesn't come through).  Where are you going to live?  Do you have support in the form of your parents, siblings or friends that will step in and help you?  Do you have the ability to provide for the child----  medical care, clothing, shelter, food, and child care.  Where is the baby going to be while you are working?  All of those practical things you MUST plan for when having a child.  Start working on this is your number one priority.

And adoption is always an option if it doesn't make sense or doesn't add up to being able to care for baby at this time in your life.  

Ugh, like I said.  I'm very sorry that this has happened and I do wish you well.  You desere a man that is supportive and wants to be with you no matter what.  This isn't that guy.  good luck
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specialmom has given you great advice.  
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1996005_tn?1343875011
Yes you really did help! I thought about it all day along with what others have said. Its so hard to see outside of things when you are in it. You gave me a lot of confidence and helped me to realize the man I fell in love with and have known for 15 years is no longer who I
thought he was.

Ever since this started about a month back I had plan B for baby and I bc I had no clue what was going on with him. I started putting it in motion hoping for plan A (plan him and I made together) to get its opportunity again but now I don't even want that anymore, most of the time. I fought for him. I fought for my baby to have her daddy. I gave it my best to give her a chance to have the both of us but I can't make him want us. I won't ever regret trying to make it work with us bc I know I would have regretted it if I didn't...

I wish I remembered his social! I never thought I would have had to commit that to memory. I do want to take him to court but then I kinda just want to forget about him. That's definitely an option I'm going to have to stew on. I do fear he would get partial custody if I can't prove he don't deserve her. I don't feel a man that takes a womans money, leaves her high and dry while she's trying to plan for a baby is deserving of that child. He refuses to fix the car he broke, refuses to take me to doctors appointments or the hospital when I needed it most. Fortunately I have this semi taken care of but I had no money to get the right food while being pregnant and he wouldn't help out at all when he had money and had the opportunity to help. Just such a coward.

He just signed away responsibility of his other kids as part of a deal with his ex wife so he doesn't have to pay for them. I'm telling you he's no longer the man I know... My little girl deserves better.

I have some support from a few friends and then my siblings. Unfortunately my parents, whom I've had to move back in with, have proven that I'm just a burden now like Im some knocked up teenagerand having to rely on them. I'm hoping so much that I can get it together to prove to them I got this. Things are hard on them bc they have always told me they don't want grandchildren... They have what I feel is a weird way of thinking but to each is own... Not a day goes by they don't have a snide comment to say. I heard that will change when baby comes... To bad I need them now. Its ok though.

Just time to get it all together :)
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3094227_tn?1340943508
Feels like my life .and I'm hurt and sad that I helped him when he was down and now he's gn on with his life and not there for me with this pregnancy .but I'm bnot ginna stress or lose this baby over his ********..I couldn't do my baby like that
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