How do I move on?

I've just learned that I have been used as back-up date for a guy I liked.  I was 1 of about 10 women.  I thought we had something special but it turns out he was just using me for sex and to stroke his ego.  

I understand this but on someone level I still believe we could be a great couple.  I know this is crazy but I can't seem to help thinking this way.  How can I get him off my mind and out of my heart?  

Before anyone says that he is a bad guy, he is not.  He was honest with my about the nature of our relationship.  He is in the Army and is a hero.  He is really good looking and a great lover.  People, neighbors, friends, family all love him.  He has a son who he adores.  If he were a bad guy, I would probably move on but he's not.  He's a good person.

What really bothers me is why he doesnt want me.  I don't know why he doesn't want to be with me when we are so good together in so many ways?

[dove3053]

If you are ok with being used as a back-up date and for sex, then this guy is great for you.

Why don't you ask him why he doesn't want to be with you?

Dove

[Buffalogirl]

He may be a great guy, but he doesn't seem like a great guy for you.  It's about what you want and need in a mate and if you are not on the same page, maybe you should focus on yourself right now, he sure is.  I know it's hard and the question of "why doesn't he want me?" always enters the mind when the guy seems to be who we want.  Instead of asking this though, it's better to know that someone out there does and this guy is just too greedy to be with you alone.  Don't dog yourself and remember, you aren't the only one he is doing this to.  You deserve someone who will have you as the only one, not the number one.

[romulus]

Thank you all for your responses.  I know this all sounds crazy that I wouldn't be mad at him.  I don't think the problem is him and I know that.  It's me and the fact that I like a challenge.  Those challenges never work out for me yet I keep going after the ones that aren't available.

Buffalogirl, thanks for your insight.  You're right, he really isn't the guy for me. He is very greedy about his needs.  Good point that he is doing this to other women too.  I didn't think if that before.  I also posted on the relationship forum, and someone mentioned about father issues, which I definitely do have.  Good father but not available emotionally.  Thanks so much for responding.  You made me feel better.

Teko - I'm not angry at him but at myself.  He was honest with me, my brain just thought I could change him but I can't.  Someone will but it won't be me and I have to accept that.  I do hope that if and when I meet Mr. Right, I'm emotionally mature to handle someone who will love only me.  Hope I find him soon! Thank you!

[Buffalogirl]

I hope you get through this, I'm glad I was able to make you feel better.  Best wishes!

[ibizan]

i agree with many of the comments posted to u......u r wise to move on....u were one of 10 that u know of?are u concerned with him giving u an std?i'm in the std and hpv forum.i am blown away by the numbers of married men men in supposed relationships cheating their bootys off with so many women!Does anyone b-lieve in monogomy anymore?i'm 52 and live on another planet in wanting this.Was celibate 10 years.....met who i thought was soulmate.10 mos.very good then the boredom restlesness moved in.....and voila i don't want to be in a relationship anymore.....just c u when its convenient 2 me......i can't post here what my reply was...))) but i think u get the gist.Any other woman ain't gettin no prize with this guy dear......and he will grow old alone or be a constant cheater.Move 4ward and love urself for he's incapable of loving anyone!