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How do i do this??
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How do i do this??

I am going through a break up with my sons father. We were together for 6 years and have a 3 year old son. We did not have the best relationship. Many ups and downs, when it was bad, it was terrible. I down talked him a lot and vice versa. The abuse became physical, but we stayed around, trying to work it out a day at a time. We broke up many times, every time, I left him. He would beg for me back, cry and full of regrets, I would do the same. It always turned out the same. There was history of cheating and hard to trust amongst both of us. I love him so much and I know he feels the same. However, this breakup is different. I moved back in with my mom, son lives with me. He is dating someone , or more than one woman and he is completely different now. He doesn't call me, try to get me back the way he used to. I know it sounds pathetic that im waiting for him to do it and he shows that he doesn't give a ****. I am in therapy once a week for my issues because of this relationship. After I leave the therapy, I still feel the same way. I work, have school plans but I cant see myself living without him and he already started a new life. I don't have many friends anymore so I rarely have things to do socially. I miss him but he seems not to care. I also might be pregnant again and he says I am making it up to scare him . He just is completely different, letting go of us and I don't know how to handle this or what to think. Im so scared he will love someone else and forget about loving me.
9 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
Its also very confusing because everytime I took him back, I treated him as if I didn't want him. I really did want him, just not the way he was and it was hard to forgive the things he has done in the past. I cant stand thinking of him with someone else, it kills me inside. I cry so much, text him all the time, get mad at myself and him when he ignores me. I know if the tables were turned he would be the same way. But, I don't have anyone else and don't know if I want that. I need advice, please?? Ask any questions u want...
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Avatar_n_tn
I don't no what to suggest but I think what ur feeling write now is natural,  breakups are hard and take time to get over! How do u feel?
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Avatar_f_tn
Thanks for commenting. I feel sad but I know its probably for the best. He confuses me because he says he moved on but he still down talks me as if he's angry about it. I wouldn't be so hurt if he didn't throw his new life in my face all the time. Any thoughts on why he does that?
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Avatar_n_tn
I read the bit about where u said u down talked him,  do u maybe think it's sort of a way to get back at u? 6years is a long time I doubt very much he could just stop loving u like that,  I mean truthfully I could be wrong but it sounds to me like he still cares,  I mean y would he take his time to bother down talking or throwing his life in ur face if he wasn't thinking about u in first place to do so? I can't tell u wat to do but I can help u with advice etc be here to listen. I understand relationships r lets say 'difficult' :/. U need to put u and ur child first in all of this! Have u asked ur son what he want to happen? Do u want him back?
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Avatar_f_tn
I think the same as u about him still loving me and wanting to be with me. I also think he's tired of trying and the same outcome happens. He down talked me for years too, wasn't just me. A lot of things happened and dont trust him, but I always tried. I think trust is huge in a relationship and I wasn't happy with him. I wish things were different but he makes it clear that he isn't trying again, right now. Says,  later on maybe we will be together forever. My son loves to see us together, but hes only 3 so he doesn't know. Thanks for responding, it helps. And yes, I know me and the baby come first. I work, go to school, all for my sons future. I just hate that im a single mother now with not too many good fish in the sea. O and what bothers me so much is he is 32 yrs old and the new gf is 19. He met me when I was 19, she also resembles me in a way. I think he's trying to fill a void. Just too funny, seems like hes trying to fix all the mistakes he made and start from the beginning with someone who reminds him of me. Lol, sorry I have a lot to say
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Avatar_n_tn
Don't be sorry say all u want to say! Its not good If he's saying that maybe one day u will be back together forever - I mean my understanding is y is he with someone else then. I don't c how he is being fair on u to put ur life on hold for him. At least the way to look at all of this,  u got a kid out of him what I mean by that is he hasn't complety gone as his DNA jean is in ur son,  so don't look at it as he's gone forever!  If that makes sense lol. I'm so sorry u have to go through this I no it's tough but u seem to be doing the ryt thing e.g therapy! The world may seem not real and messed up for a while u may even be repeating the same music track but I assure u it will pass and each day will get easier. Hows about go outside explore the world a little more go places u never been before. There's nothing wrong being a single mum! Let him get on with it , u could ignore him and don't let him bother u with these games anymore. Remember that saying "what goes around comes around"? Maybe he will become aware of that soon lol
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Avatar_f_tn
LOl ur right. I say that quote to him all the time because it definitely happens in most cases. Exploring sounds good and im sure keeping busy will be good for me. Its just the comfortability is gone and I have to adjust. Its very difficult now but all wounds heal. This is just a very deep one lol. Thank you so much for listening and giving advice. It helps ;)
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Avatar_n_tn
hope I did help :) , yeah wounds heal with time and I'm sure ur kid keeps u busy I no mine do lol,  also my cat well cats keep me busy haha drive me nuts at same time lol. Keep me updated and I'll be here to listen. Good luck I hope u find happiness :-)))
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you so much. You as well & happy holidays
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