I need input to make sense of this

[lost_myself]

I am 40. look young 30ish and am in good shape. I met a wonderful young woman 4 1/2 months ago. We live 3 hours apart but spent the first to weeks together before i had to return to work.We have seen each other every 2 weeks for a weekend.We have talked everyday and sent numerous emails. I would email her a link to a different love song everyday. We felt comfortble enough to say i love you on occasion. We had our first fight 2 fridays ago ,we talked , resolved it and moved on. I saw her thursday and spent the night. friday we talked and all seemed fine. Saturday morning she called to say she didnt want to see me any more. She was callous and short, when i tried to talk about it she said she had to go and hung up. later i called her and we talked for four hours. She said her friends are important to her & she is tired of having to defend me with them( due to the age difference).Also that we would never all get to hang out due to thier issues with me..i've only met one of them for about 2 hours?? So any way she said goodbye and hung up. last i heard from her.. I begged her I offered to meet them and let them get to know me I told her i would do anything she thought was neccessary and she simply said ..I can't. i have cried for 2 days,i feel sick and weak like my heart was ripped from my chest. How could she just walk away without a second thought over something so trivial? I asked even for just a chance , just any thing to try and not this great thing be wasted , again I can't was her response. Please offer any advice.How could she tell me she loved me friday and erase me from her life saturday?

[lost_myself]

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[iam1butterfly]

You don't state what the age difference is... but, I don't think that that's the real issue here. After all, wasn't the age difference known and discussed before you dated?
I also, don't buy into the need for her friends approval explanation. Sure, it's nice to have approval... but, if you really like and/or love someone you usually don't care what friends or family think.
So, maybe, she's scared; maybe, she's not ready for a relationship; maybe, she wants to pursue other relationships.
Unless she gives you a more honest and defined explanation you may never know why she emotionally flip flopped on you. But, it's only a 4 1/2 month relationship.
Be grateful that whatever issues exist are addressed now. And, consider this as a vital relationship learning experience.
Oh, and, try to find someone who is less superficial.

[lost_myself]

she is 23

[jo929]

If she really cared, she would not consider the age difference, but at 23, i imagine she is not ready to settle down yet, and is not through having her fun, and at 40 you have sowed your wild oats, does not sound like this would work out, as she needs to mature, and you have been through the 20 stage, I really think that you would be happier with someone  near your own age, most men always want someone younger, and someone your age would understand you better,  luck  jo

[teko]

I dont think age is the issue either! The excuse maybe but not the issue. My guess is she met someone else she had an attraction for and had to dis you somehow and that was the logical choice. Next time, try not to jump in with both feet after meeting someone new. Time is needed for a relationship to grow.

[doggylove]

I got married when I was 22. I had been in a lot of bad relationships and when I met my husband he SEEMED to be the perfect guy. It was the newness and the "adult" relationship we SEEMED to have. He is almost 10 years older than me and I thought that is what I wanted to I jumped in with both feet.
had I been in a less fragile spot then I don't think I would have married him. I think she thought you were mature and stable and thought that it would be a good relationship........but she wasn't ready.........most 22 to 27 yr olds are NOT. Do not fret, be glad you did NOT get married. There are others out there.

I can say that my feelings and attitude towards my husband are not fair and although he doesn't communicate with me..........I think he is unhappy and afraid that I am going to leave. You wouldn't have wanted to be in that position.

[lost_myself]

Thanks soo much for all of the input i think there's great advice and truth in all of it. Since i posted the original i have spoken to her a couple of times and feel that it is her friends and family ..i think she is too young to stand the hard ground that she would have to in alienating family and friends. On tuesday i got to speak to her when she was alone she told me she loved me and missed me and wanted to meet face to face and talk. On wednesday she said her family wanted to talk to me and for me not to contact her that she would be staying with her best friend for a while. NONE of them know me, i met her best friend for maybe 2 hours never anyone else but, Im sure they think that they are protecting her from something (as in a 40 year old guy could only want one thing from a 23 year old) and i can't make her bear the wieght that must be on her shoulders so i told her I would not contact her. Meanwhile im still dieing and trying to cope...  thanks again all..