I am 22 weeks pregnant, my husband and I who have always known of each other, had fallen into a whirlwind romance. We have a 2 year old son, I had a miscarriage last year. We have been married a year, together for 2. My husband started hitting me early on, he was always very sorry. He has been very destructive to my things. Broken glasses, phones, punched cars, no problem destroying things. He has a history of alchol and drug abuse. Was incarcerated for over a year due to DUI's. He could sell sand at the beach and is extremely charming. He could get anyone to believe anything he wanted. His mother in particular has always cleaned up his messes. He was a problem child. He has a history of sleeping around. He is jealous. He makes it a point to talk to ex girlfriends, and makes sure I am aware of it...usually after I find out, he acts like it is nothing. He has a huge ego. He loves his appearance. He doesnt work steadily, and has not for a very long time. He lies to everyone about little and big things. He has a sense of entitlement that I can't understand. He has a hair trigger temper. He loves to go to bars and party like he is still a teenager....He is 36. He surrounds himself with female friends. He has no remorse for anything, in fact he can usually twist things and actually make them seem as if things are always someone elses fault. He has no sense of responsibilty, nor does he worry about long term. He doesnt have a life plan nor can he stick to one. And when he says that he wants a good life and to settle down, nothing ever comes to fruition. He has this way of making others think I am crazy, even after they have seen his behavior towards me on a bad day. I had to leave him after he hit me while our son was in the hospital, we were in his hospital room. After he went back and forth, nice to mean, once I agreed to allow him to see me or are son, he would invent fights not to show up and then blames me.
It finally turned into him being arrested for domestic assault. He is now IN LOVE with me, and wants to work things out. I do love him and feel like I should try for ourselves and the kids to work on things. We have an amazing time together when things are good, and an incredible sex life. My husband is handsome, funny, charming and a good father when involved. He takes amazing care of me when things are good. He is protective and loving.
I sound crazy now.....I know. I am just afraid that he is a true blue PSYCHOPATH. I am afraid that he will turn again. Or amI just reading to much and overthinking...
On one hand I really dont want to loose him, he really is my best friend. On the other hand he makes me feel as bad as he does good. He has never hurt our son physically but I understand the gravity of the emotional toll and harm if he doesnt change. I just dont know what to do. I am really in love with him.
In love, confused, pregnant, and afraid to stay and afraid to go.....
My second husband sound like he could be your husbands twin!
I know this is going to sound harsh but, staying will only subject yourself and your son to more of the same.
It took me more years than it should have to leave and I thought time would cool things afterwards. Six years later, he was still being volatile to my daughters. Now, he doesn't know where we are. Does it hurt? Yes. Does it affect my daughter? Yes. Do I think I made the wrong decision? At first, when he was so apologetic and loving, I did. Now, no way in he!!, I KNOW I did the very BEST thing I could do for me and my children.
It's not easy, but it sounds necessary before things get worse.
I agree, he isn't sincere when he acts so loving now. He's just playing a control game with you, using the weapon he know he can win with. Don't fall for it, for your children's sake. Even if you can't leave for you, leave for your son, don't let him learn this cr ap. Don't let him be hurt by it, either, get him out of it.
ps -- Document everything, and later, when your son is, say, 18 or 21, let him have a copy. He'll deserve to know what went on.
Well, nothing acceptable about the way you describe his down side. So if someone you love hurts and treats you that badly, how much do you put up with from your enemies? Your situation sounds like a domestic violence one that cycles. I cannot understand what there is to love about this character and he sounds dangerous and ugly. With that said, you have enabled him and if you take him back, look for more of the same and worse. Until you have had enough, nothing will change. He sounds like a narcissist to me and the whole situation sounds very unhealthy. But if that's what you want, have at it I guess. You already know this situation is not acceptable, but I will not support you in your decision to stay with someone who abuses you verbally and physically and in time will do the same to those kids.
So your best friend loves you and supports you by hitting you and making you feel worthless? So he is a GREAT dad when he wants to be. You really do love him and think he is amazing since his best quality traits are hitting and talking to other girls. Wow, sounds like a really good catch.
Ok...now for my softer side...the reason i was kinda rude up above because READ YOUR POST. For almost the whole post you say what he does to you, how he hurts you, and soon it will be your children...then you say you love him, he is your best friend and you have great sex. OK...well....the way i see it (my dad is a psychopath btw) he WILL NOT change. So if you want yourself and your babies around that...well be prepared for alot of hurt. You prob wont listen to me. Or anyone else on here who will tell you the same thing, to get rid of him. If your a typical abused person well then...you will be to scared to leave. But if you dont...you will be sorry for the rest of your life. Just sayin.
Your husband sounds a lot like mine! Deception, lies, violent behaviour, false charm, nonapologetic, lack of remorse, secretive, cheating,always felt entitled to everything, needed to be praised, felt he was God, abuse...I would've never married this piece of s__t if I've known his true character. He showed his true colors after I quit my job to move and be with him abroad, was far from family and friends. He made me cry every day and didn't care that I was dying in front of his eyes. O! almost forgot! Selective memory and no dreams! Psychopaths don't dream. He hasn't have a dream EVER! Not even one! I also thought that I couln't live without him. He was my entire life! Guess what I lived and doing better every day! DON'T KID YOURSELF. IT WON'T GET BETTER SO RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK.
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