So if you new that your wife had started to have feelings for another man.Is it wrong for me to be checking up on her she is just about done with a rehab program an my intuition has been telling me somethings not right. This program offers a yoge class which I thought was something they had to go to for the program. Well about a week an a half ago I found out its not a must go class. An another thing that was bugging me was it starts 4pm to 5pm an her must go class doesn't start till 6pm and she usaully leaves at 3pm to go it takes 20 min to get ther e .so it had really been bothering me many signs just on this one case we also have two children and one needs to be picked up by 430 well he was at home on monday an she said she was. Going to yoga my intuition said different. So I had an hour an decided I was going to go an see if she was there . All the way there I was so nervous of her being ther catching me checking up on her and the thought of being right. Well when I got there guess what she wasn't there. I finally told her yesterday I new she was skipping classes an lying to me. I asked her where she was an she says she was just driving around. Whicj is boloney driving around for 3 hours I think not . I told her I know a lot more then she thinks I know . But she won't come clean I know what's going on deep within but I keep giving her the benifit of doubt. Our marrage is on the rocks. Yes but yet were still having sex. I have always trusted my wife to be faithful. Is she just trying to spare me anymore pain or is it exciting to be on the sneak? I don't know but I think it would be easier if she just came clean. Cuz I'm going out of my mind when she's not at home. She also got all bent out of shape at me for checking up on her. Isn't that what a concerned husband should do if he thinks somethings wrong? I want to try an work out our marrage an I'm willing to forget about what ever is going on we have 11 years together an 2 kids. Any adivce
Hi, ive been following your other posts. Your really in panic mode and if she as decided to end the marriage and does not want counceling, what the heck more can you do! Until you get firm evidence that she is having an affair, you cant do anything proactive. Your saying you would forgive her if she is having an affair, this is great but your panic is that you would forgive her for anything she does only to keep her. Im not sure thats the best for you.
Ive had this happen to me twice before and the whole ordeal is heart wrenching and in some ways makes no sense that another human being could do this, but they do.
If you really cant take it anymore then maybe talk to her about separating. Tell her how you feel and what your plan is. She might respect you more for doing this
I think you need to tell the facility that she is at that she is 'flirting' or developing feelings with another man. That is against the rules of recovery because it is a new 'high'. It is indicative of her not staying clean when she is released. I'm sorry to tell you that. the new man is about her addiction and that is why rehab facilities discourage anything like what she is doing. Tell them. She needs more help than she is getting.
Now, it is true that when two users get clean, they have to form an entirely new relationship. The 'high' folks that were together are a lot different than the sober people that are together. Without the drug of choice to numb things, lots of raw emotion exists. It's hard and I'd make sure you have a good therapist lined up to help you two through that.
I posted earier this morning an apparently it faided to post.and to special mom. You are totally right as I have been telling her this since I found her letter to this guy. Which had to do with the$ getting kicked out of the program if the counseler new about it. An since then I had been telling her she is try to substude one for another I like ur spin better. I told her if she kept going this way she would relapse. Missing meeting to hang out with this guy all the sneaking around and all the other stuff she has going on well she ended up slipping and I caught her on thanksgiving day smoking pot it wasn't pills but that will be next if she doesn't stop doing what she's been doing isee her fighting inside her head when she is hanging out at the house. I also confronted her about not going to her classes an saying she was there n I drove by n found out she had been lying to me. Now she says she is faithful to me and I haven't found any proof other wise . So I'm giving her the benifit of doubt. She just keeps flip floping one min she wants to try n work thing out the next she's wanting me to find my own place as of now we r trying to work things out but I'm still on a heightened sence of awareness about this guy is she giving me lip service or is she being honest ?? Still up in the air we shall see thank you both for the advice
Sometimes its really hard to understand when something is over; besides, i dont think that it is your duty as a husband (or wife) to check and be aware of everything around towards ur partner. I mean if somebody cheats on u thats it GAME OVER, now if u want to give it a try thats ok, as long as the other part involved is wiilling to do so, but dont make the pathway easier for her I mean, after all she was the one that cheated on u.
But....being honest, I believe that when somebody is capable to cheat on u it happens for one reason and one reason only THE CHEATER IS NO LONGER INLOVE WITH U and once a wise man said if someone falls inlove with two persons at the same time, then, he or she should stick to the second one cuz if he or she had been truely inlove with the first one THERE WOULDNT BE A SECOND ONE!!! I leave u that as a reflecting homework. Regards.
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