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Infadility and moving on
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Infadility and moving on

Last December I realized my husband was having an affair.  All I could think about is how undesirable I am.  It must be all my fault.  I tried to kill myself, you see he is not the first man to turn to another woman.  As you all can tell, I am still alive and coping with this situations.  Well, my husband denied the affair even though I had concrete proof.  He was planning a trip to see his mother and the day before he left, I told him that when he returned he would be telling me he was leaving. that was march 4th.  he came home on march 7th and he did announce he was going to live with his mother.  Well to make a long story short, he is still in the area and living with his *****.  He is trying to keep me on the line, but i will not let that happen.  I am just having problems with dealing with the loneliness.  I allowed my husband, by the way he is a raging idiot, chase all my friends away.  I have no one to really turn to accept my adult daughter.  I do not want to turn to another man.  I need to get over this breakup first.  I live in a small town and want to move, so maybe I will find new friends when I move.  thanks for listening.
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Speaking personally:

I stopped BEING a victim when I stopped FEELING like a victim.  

This simple thought liberated me.  Believe me, I endured anguish and despair beyond words in my Marriage for 15 years !!  FINALLY, I realized I could, I really really could, take control of my Own Life and stop putting my Happiness in the hands of a Husband who hurt me again and again and again.  You know that old saying:  "hurt me once, shame on You - hurt me twice, shame on me".  

So move, move on and take control of Your own Health and Happiness,  You can do this, You really, really can.

GoodLuck

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Hi there.  Gosh, I'm really sorry to hear this is going on in your life.  Break ups like this are really so very hard.  it's like a death.  And our whole world is turned upside down.  And then, after being married to go back to being single is hard.  Just hard.  So, I feel for you.

I think this is a great time to explore what you want to do in life such as any hobbies or things like that.  Good time to take up tennis, join a book club, garden, do a wine tasting course, volunteer, etc.  Also, great time to begin working out.  If there is a gym to join, that is really excellent.  You can do a work out class and I tell ya, I've made some great girlfriends working out.  Plus it is good for us!  

Keep busy and maybe contact some of those old friends and see if you can maybe rekindle the friendship.  They may be more welcoming and understanding than you think.

I agree, don't date.  We need time after a relationship ends to really move past it before considering someone else to date.  

I do wish you lots of luck and we are here any time you need to vent or chat.  peace
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