Marriage Breakup

[joannie127]

My husband recently left me after 40 years of marriage, He has suffered with depression for many years. His last three depressions he is always very verbal towards be and everything is my fault. He went to stay with my sister's best friend and her 17 year old son, he claims there is nothing going on  between the two of thrm, he says that she feels sorry for him and has given him a place to stay. My question is, do I have the right to take away his house keys, he is very annoyed because I did, but I have been told that he chose to leave so he gave up his right to come back & forth whenever he wants to. Am I wrong in taking the keys?     Thanks

[Mrs_Wings]

She feels sorry for him??  I smell a rat.  I mean he is leaving you in mid air, not knowning what is going on, going to stay at another female's home and I've always heard where there is smoke there is fire. I may be completely off base, but I would have all the locks changed and call an attorney - possession is 9/10% of the law and he is the one leaving.  It's not like you are stopping him from getting his personal items; but at some point you have to decide when is he going to stop putting you in misery. My case in different; but, I received my answer tonight.  When I tried to reason with my husband, he came right out and said - I don't care then - then just stay in Texas. (You'd have to read my post)  I'm going to have nothing except what we get out of the home and I'm sure he will go and close our joint checking, I can drive - I've had multiple back surgeries that didn't work and take some hard narcotics.  He thought he had me over a barrel, I guess like your husband thinks you are always going to take him back.  Once you make your decision, and I'm sitting here bawling... because he just told me all this... his friends in Florida over his physical disabled wife.  But, it is also a release (once you make up your mind)  I do not want a divorce, wasn't brought up that way; but, you deserve peace of mind.  If you have a minister go and talk to them, if you believe in God, pray. I hope things work out, but you can't go on letting it tear your heart and soul apart.  If it weren't... you would not have come looking for a place on the net for comfort and support.  God bless and keep you safe.

[joannie127]

Thank you so much for your comments and support. I really need to know if I can legally keep the key from him.  It was comforting to read your message, Thanks again.

[oldschool]

   I can really sympathize ,I have been through two divorces,you sound like an intelligent person.I bet the she does more than just feel sorry for him.Sounds like they are a good match.I know the pain that you are feeling right now,all I can tell you is hang in there,whats that old saying,time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.You are better off without him,he just walks out after 40 yrs and everything is your fault.I should fix him up with my ex.I am pretty sure if he leaves that you are NOT obligated to give him the keys or anything else.I would talk to an attorney,just to be safe,good luck.   James

[sharinamo]

I have been married for13yrs, 2 kids, stay home mom.  My husband and I have been in marriage counseling for two y.  He is aa recovering alcoholic for 18months. I live with a emotional abuser who can go for weeks not talking, this intentional abuse has been talked about in counseling , i think he fells there are no rules to follow

[jewelscute1]

No you are not wrong in taking the keys.  And 'your fault' for his problems?  He must be narcissistic.  Good luck and talk to an attorney.  I smell 'adultery'.