My boyfriend insults me but claims to love me

i am 20 dating a 23 year old guy,we fight most of the times and he always swear at me with bad names that breaks my heart and make me feel small but when i want us to take a break he claims to love me and will never let go of me,plz helps,does he realy love me or what?

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE

[TTinKKerBBell]

Love is Kind -  Love is NOT hurtful

EveryOne has bad days, for one reason or another and EveryOne has moments of irritation, annoyance, whatever, but even then, Love is NOT unkind.  I've been married for 28 years and not EVER has my Husband sworn at me, called me a name or blamed me for How HE was feeling.....nor have I ever disrespected Him.  

I too would feel small and unimportant under the circumstance You describe - it would be a deal breaker for me.  If You are not being given respect You should demand it.  We walk away from other People who treat us badly - why would we tolerate being disrespected by SomeOne who proclaims to love us?

Good Luck

[shoegal87]

Not to justify any kind of behavior but when you are younger you engage in toxic relationship behaviirs. My husband and I got together at 19 and we dont have the best patterns of trust and communication.  I would encourage you guys to see couples therapist to help you learn to efficiently communicate with your partner. For me its too late my husband and I are seperated and getting a divorce but it would have been nice if someone had suggested that to us a long time ago maybe our marriage would have survived.

[Londres70]

Hon, we date for a reason and if he is unable to show or give you respect then that says it all.  

[specialmom]

I whole heartedly agree that we date for a reason and our partners should show us respect.  Sometimes these outbursts of anger and cussing and disrespect become habit between a couple.  You can try telling him you are done with this behavior and it changes or you walk.  But sadly, that just might be his way of handling things and you do NOT want to saddle yourself with that for a life time.

good luck (never ignore red flags when dating.)

[Life360]

Hi and welcome.
In a relationship there are 2 different people from 2 different backgrounds that have been raised by different parents and have developed different issues.
Relationships is an attempt for 2 people to live as one and a key to a happy and healthy life together is resolving conflicts. You know him and he knows you and each of you know what buttons to push to get reactions.

I would say the at least 25% of the time that couples are together there are arguments and disagreement so  dont take arguments and spats as something that is so negative but is a way of releasing tensions that build up.
Ask yourself the question of why you dont argue with  yourself, why is it that we only argue with another person, there in lies the truth.

There are ways to reverse this bad name calling and the path to this is after the argument of over and could be as simple as not talking to him for a while or not giving him the things that he is accustomed to getting.
Use the same tecniques that his mother uses to get him in line.

[callen3x]

Please run, do not walk, away from this relationship.  He does not love you or respect you.  You will spend many miserable years if you continue this relationship.  You are young and have your entire life ahead of you.  Do some research into why you are willing to accept this behavior from someone who claims to care about you????