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My gf didn't invite me to her graduation ceremony
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My gf didn't invite me to her graduation ceremony

I am sorry if I'm writing long stories, but I hope you will read it because it made me feel good to pour out my feeling and. Thank you

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for months. However, we have been known each other as friends for 3 years (yes, our relationahip is one of those take it slow kind of relationship)

She is the type of girl who uphold "traditional" value as a woman. Never start calling boys first, always let the boys do the decision and just follow him. We always call ecery night til sleep, joking and laughing,  but never talk romantically because she isnt comfortable with that stuff. I hope you got the idea.

Our relationship is always make me do the first move, we never had sex (because our asian culture) even never kissed in public. But we kissed before butt not in public.

Today is her graduation ceremony and she's happy about it. We talked on the phone yesterday night about it. But I wasnt happy that I wasnt invited to one of her important event in her life. During her final exam struggle I was there for her support and comfort her. She even cried on the phone afraid of not passing the test. I was there with her listening to her cry all night. Never let go of my phone even once (except go to the toilet)

Now the rain has passed, why she didnt invite me to her graduation ceremony, one of her happiest day of her life. I'm sitting here confused, frustrated, and sad. I didnt know what to do thats why i'm writing right now. I hope you guys can tell me what I do wrong or hers? Thank you for your time reading.
9 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
My question is should I break her up? Is it appropriate to break her up just for that reason? I want to confront her later tonight after she came back from graduation ceremony I dont want to ruin her moment by telling her now.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Be sure of a few things before you get angry.  When I graduated, I was given only two tickets for people to come see me do it.  I gave one to my mother and one to my father.  We then got together afterwards with the rest of the family and friends.  Do you know for sure that she could have gotten you a ticket?

Do you think she is romantically inclined towards you, or do you think she sees you more as a friend?  I realize you have kissed, but does she think of you as her boyfriend?  Does she introduce you that way?

I don't think you should "confront" her but you certainly are within your rights to ask her, why you didn't get invited, and to tell her how much it hurt you.  She might not understand that the amount she has been able to rely on you is due on your end to your thinking of her romantically.
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree with Annie! I only received 2 tickets at graduation also.... Open and honest communication is important in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Maybe take her to dinner and tell her how you are feeling. Best of luck to you and please keep us updated on how it goes.
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Avatar_f_tn
I think You should have made Your thoughts known to Her BEFORE the event, as in "I'd so like to attend, is that possible?"  and then You could have known at that time if She planned on inviting You - and if not, then why not.  I don't think You should make it such a dramatic issue now that it's over and done with.  There may be a good reason (as suggested by AnnieBrook and Rosy) She didn't ask You and She may assume You already understand.  

I think if You were going to make this a break up issue, You should have told Her up front "If I'm not invited, I will break up with You" - it's kinda, sorta unfair to give Her that ultimatum now.  Since You didn't let Her know ahead of time, I think You should let this go.  In the future, be upfront and open about Your expectations, wants.  
Good Luck  
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Agree with the above posters.  

Get the facts BEFORE jumping to conclusions and then go from there.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi there.  Well, I just want to say that you seem like a sincere and caring person.  I hope she sees that in you and appreciates you for the good guy you sound to be from your writing here.  

Ya know, without doing it in an angry way (because you really aren't mad as much as hurt, right?)---  I would ask her for an honest answer as to why she didn't invite you to the event because you would have wanted to be there to support her.  She could answer in multiple ways----  she could tell you she had only limited tickets, she could tell you that she didn't think you'd like to go because you didn't say anything, she could tell you that she is scared to introduce you to her parents as a boyfriend, etc.  Listen carefully to her answer and think about what she is saying.  If you get the feeling from the answer that she doesn't value you the same way you value her, then ask her if this is the case.  So much gets lost when we assume.  You expressed yourself very well here so I know you can communicate well----  so I'd just ask her.  Try not to be angry at the moment she answers and lash back but instead, listen.  Allow her to safely tell you the truth even if it stings.  

I hope it was a matter of the tickets.  That would be an easy answer.  

I had trouble in my early years mixing boyfriends and parents.  I just did.  I hated introducing boyfriends to my parents and in my adult years NEVER did unless I was very serious and had been dating a good long while.  It was just my policy.  It was just kind of a hassle to answer parents questions, deal with the awkward moments of introduction, etc. that I waited until things were pretty far along in the relationship to do that.  

So just talk to her and see what's up.  good luck and peace
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you all for answering my question. I did asked her directly as to why she didnt invite me tograduation she responded that she didnt know it would matter to me. Then said that she only got 2 tickets for mom and dad.

I respond, why you didnt even communicate these things to me?? Ok if you dont have enough ticket. But could you at least tell me about it? Tell me that I only got 2 tickets so I cannot invite you something like that? You know it wouldnt hurt me if u say that. I will understand. What im angry is why you dont say anything about it? I dont even know when is your graduation date.

After I said that she kept saying sorry and really regret for not telling me.

Then I just realize that she just too inexperienced when it comes to romance. Well im her first boyfriend.

And yes she loved me, she thinks of me as her boyfriend.
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Avatar_f_tn
Alls well that ends well....
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134578_tn?1404951303
I think, in the future, if you care about something, be sure to let her know.  Don't wait until she steps in the poo because she is too inexperienced to know better, and then scold her.  That is a bad pattern, anger/appeasment, anger/appeasement.  In some ways, you set her up to fail with this, and then yelled at her.  Try to give her a fairer chance to do the right thing for you.
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