Never thought I would be here....

[Colz_83]

I am 26 years old and my parent's are seperating.  I never thought this would be happening.  I grew up in a happy home.  
The thing is my parents just moved to this new city where my sister and I live this past summer.  My mom hates it here and never wanted to move.  She is 56 and has lived in the same place (until now) her whole life.  She doesn't know how to get around here and doesn't know how to live alone.  Right now my dad is staying with my sister until they figure out living arrangements.  This is putting so much strain on me cause everytime I talk to my mom she is crying or mad about something.  I want to help her but I can't put up with their stress.  She says it is none of my business but it is.  

[sammy73]

What a tough situation to be in!

Your mother (and in all liklihood your father too) are going to be pretty emotional, irritable, and short-tempered because of the stress of this.  They are bound to act irrationally.  Right now, I suspect you are just going to have to try not to react when she has a go at you, and put up with it.

They'll need you to be for them, and they need to know you still love them.  If your mother us saying that it's none of your business, you may be best off not talking too much about their relationship and breakup, but focussing on being for there and helping her cope with life in a city that she's not familiar with.

While it may be tempting to try and help out with their breakup situation, and will be done no doubt with the best of intentions, the reality is that nothing you say or do is likely to make much difference to the outcome.  The only people who can really affect that are your parents themselves.  However, you could do damage to your relationship with either or both of them if they feel you are interfering, or, worse they feel you are taking sides at all (even if you aren't).

Try to be tolerant, forgiving, helpful and supporting while they go through this tough time.  It won't be easy.

[jo929]

would they be happy if they moved back where they were, ot are they having problems  i would tell them both 26 years is a long time and they should think on these things get out the ole picture album  luck  jo

[Colz_83]

My mom is being really crazy at the moment.  When this first happened my mom was going to move out on her own the next day.  We knew she needed to cool down and think so she went to her sister's for a week.  Well I guess she was decent at her sister's and forgot everything but now she is back and losing it!  My mom kicked my dad out of the house so he is now staying with my sister.  My mom is in the brand new duplex.  Even in the brand new duplex she complains about stuff but she says she is going to move into a little basement suite.  She called me today to ask about psychiatrists and I didn't know so my sister called her to tell her she would set something up.  I guess she started crying and swearing and saying how everyone hates her and dad is staying with my sister and having a good old time.  Last time I asked her to stay with me she refused.  I think she needs help.  We set up an appointment with her doctor tommorow and I hope she goes.

[iam1butterfly]

Seeking the help of a psychiatrist, therapist or counselor would be an excellent start for your mom in terms of dealing with the turmoil of the separation and all. If she's reluctant to go, maybe you or your sister can offer to go with her.
But, don't forget about yourself and your own "peace of mind." It's real easy to get sucked into such problems and become stressed-out and overwhelmed. Be supportive of your parents; be careful about "choosing sides." And, don't neglect yourself and your own need of mental "space."
Good luck!