The Breaking up a an entire Family unit...

I am under a great deal of stress- and didn't know where else to post this...
Need some feedback and thoughts....

and yes- i am sure some of it has to do with the stress of a dying member of the family... but MOST of it is because this is just how shallow, vile and controlling these people really are.

FAMILY, I truly have NONE, here...

I have deleted them from my face book account- will do the same for myspace... and all other aspects of my life that I possibly can.

My ""mother"" and I use that term loosely- has obviously told my sister that I had asked my stepdad for his insurance money !! HAH!!!

Friends- I asked a man that I loved and respected if the was anything he needed us to do to help insure that ''mother'' was taken care of once the inevitable happened.....

The ''sister" said that HE had " told everyone that I had "asked for his insurance money" !!!!

then she called me a "*****"... when she is nothing but an insolent brat- a carbon copy of her own mother... I am so 100% done with those people.

As for my step-dad, -- I have finished there too. Again, I am sorry if he feels bad or hurt in any way-- or in any way misinterpreted our offer to help out with making sure 'mother' was taken care of.....

It hurts but at the same it angers, and relieves...

I am certain that it will not be ended that simply-- they cannot stand to lose any thing in anyway-- at least not without a mud slinging.

I am also angry at myself for letting her push me to my breaking point-- but perhaps-- that is what needed to happen... I have bent, and bent, and bent-- perhaps it was time that these things finally break free.

Light a candle to brighten my spirit, say a prayer for my wounded heart and sprinkle a bit of fairy dust to make me smile again. LOL!

You know what? Real Family is those who love you, care for you-- accept you and do not always have to look at you with thoughts of how they can use you.

Sorry for the rant-- needed to vent... thanks for lending an ear.

and any words of encouragement, acknowledgment, consolation, etc are welcomed...
In fact-- I would really love to hear some other's perspectives....

thank you...

[iam1butterfly]

Yeah! I hear ya.
We can choose our friends and lovers; too bad that we can't choose our relatives.
Are you sure that there's no redeeming qualities amongst any of these "individuals"
that would allow an opening for any one of them get back into your life?
Shutting doors and deleting people from our lives seems like such a sad way to go.
But, then... maybe that's what self-preservation is all about.

...by the way, a candle has been lit!

[jo929]

I agree with i ama butterfly, death ha a way of bringing out the worst, or the best of people, and it affects lifes in many ways i have seen people that have lost loved ones act in many ways as i have worked in hosps some are angry mad and lash out, but that is their way some cry some scream some curse some hit but people are people,and sometimes we have to accept them the way they are or leave them alone, maybe in time when the hurt has gone, things will change and you can have a fanily again words are just words, but i know they can hurt I have lost most of my family and am about to lose another daughter to cancer there will be no one then, but i cling to life hoping for the best  I truly hope you find yourself, and try to be happy   luck  jo

[jo929]

I forgot to mention an ole saying do not burn your bridges behind you, you just might want to go back someday, so leave a little thread, just in case  jo

[psyvamp]

thank you... however, i do not believe that any of them will change--I have been alive for just over 38 years-- and nothing in them has changed yet- 'cept for maybe they have grown more bitter and less caring...

I have left paths, boards, ropes, and strings- all along-- but for what? just so they can eventually regroup, and follow me to renew their grasp on my happiness with their dark and vile personalities. no, this time I am done... they do not want nor need me, I do not need nor want their negativity in my life. My mother walked away from me when I was 6 months old-- and never tried to make amends with me-- she didn't want me then, and no matter how hard I've tried-- she never will... Neither will her other 3 daughters.... Abandone one-- have 3 more ... No... I have finally faced my demons-- --  my 'family' and my internal demons created by my 'family'... I am learning to leave them all behind and move forward with my life...and it is a bright and happy future......

Yesterday evening, I went out with my husband to hunt for deer; as I sat there in that tree stand for 5 hours-- i listened to the breeze, to the birds, the small woodland creatures... watched the clouds roll by and heard the silence of the land... it was the first time I have felt a true calm and peace in quite sometime...

[psyvamp]

was just looking at my daughter's FB... Her aunt made a comment on a picture- from this past july-- of ALL of us--

"someone in that pic i don't recognize... looks like the devil! LMAO"................

It still hurts..... no matter how hard i try to let it all go... even with all the hurt and pain and disappointment they have caused me over the years-- it still hurts!

I have thought about calling my mom-- or sis-- but i can't... i feel like it was their actions that caused all this-- not mine, therefore they should be the ones to try to make amends..

I would try to be friends---maybe... but nothing more.. I can't keep getting into a position where I can keep getting myself hurt.

and it's so hard...here at holidays, my boys' birthdays (11/25 & 12/14)  christmas...and with step dad being so sick......

but there is also my sanity and the sanctity of my marriage ..... which is more important?   taking care of me ( of us) or pacifying them -- falling prey to their schemes and BS again???

[LindaTX]

I think what you're really looking for is peace in your life.  What better time to seek and find it than this beautilul holiday season.  I think you've come to terms with what's happened in the past, even though I know there's still a lot of hurt and anger.  But, like you said yourself in the above post, there's your sanity and the sanctity of your marriage and your boys' birthdays.  If you focus on those things and having a loving and giving spirit toward all those close around you and even those you don't know who are in need of even a kind word, you will not have room left in your heart for bitterness. Trust me, the time to start is today!  I wish you the very best.      Linda

[psyvamp]

My stepdad passed away Sunday morning.... His funeral was today... I did go...
Today would have also been his and my mother's 27th wedding anniversary.
It was a beautiful service, military honors....

I spoke nothing o my sister, and little to my mother... just told her I'm sorry, and I love her ....

They asked me and my husband to go to the luncheon for him- but I declined. Told them I am not ready for that.... maybe I never will be....

Thank the Gods and Goddesses all, that he did not suffer long. he died peacefully in his sleep....