Vivid Dreams of my Ex.

I have been apart from my ex now for almost 2 years. Our relationship ended on bad terms. we have both moved on now but i still have dreams about him and im the morning they feel real and i feel sad that our relationship is ended. He has moved on and there is no going back. How do i get him to quite haunting me? its feels like he does it on purpose when we were together it felt like i could feel him thinking about me. I want him gone and the dreams to stop.

[iam1butterfly]

Even when things don't end badly... it's hard to get over someone and move on.
Thoughts of that person linger; and those thoughts migrate into the dream stage.
But, dreams are necessary vents to help us process our thoughts and feelings.
I would say, allow those thoughts and feelings to emerge and don't try to suppress
the dreams.
Analyze them.
Ask yourself, "why did I dream that?"
You'll be amazed by how much you'll learn about yourself.
Eventually, a day or several days will go by... and, you'll realized that you didn't
think about him, at all. Thoughts of him will fade and so too will the dreams of him.
It just takes time... it can take a very long time for that to happen.
But, it does happen.

[trkergrl]

Thank you. I use to run from these dreams and feelings because i dont love him anymore, but i miss the K osss of the 10 years we were together and all though i did love him most of the 10 years ( My !ST true love ever) I knew he was not the one i would spend my life with. Now i let the feelings come. i talk to myself and journal daily. Our relationship was built on SEX and it was awsome. But it did not last. We had no communication at all. The relationship was very toxic. I met him in 98 and got sober in 2000. I think i traded one addiction for another. My love for Speed was replaced with our relationship. I hope and pray everytime i have one of these dreams or he crosses my mind that God will take these thoughts from me. They are fading i can go months but then he is back. just out of no where. He really messes with my new relationship because i want to go back to him. But there is nothing to go back to. He is happy and has future plans with his new girl. I want him to be happy, and i know its not with me. do you think maybe its because i lost him and she got him?? like a game and im a poor loser? Thats why i cant seem to let him go?

[trkergrl]

opps i ment he was my 1st true love

[iam1butterfly]

Well, it could be that now that he's with someone else... thoughts of what could have
or should have been... play havoc in one's mind. So, there will always be second guessing and wondering "if only..." or "what if..."
But, I wouldn't define these thoughts as a case of being a poor loser. Perhaps, it's more of a reality check of lost Love. Also, don't assume that just because he's with someone else, and appears to be happy, that he doesn't think of you. I'm sure that he thinks of you, often.
  

[trkergrl]

I hope he doesnt think of me EVER.... That would just make things worse for me.... mentally..... i dont want that life anymore. i love my new life but the dreams bother me...

[Nutkin]

Quite similar to me, broke last July and on really bad terms, had this wired and wet dream about him about 3-4 weeks ago which annoyed me, as i have worked hard on moving on with my life with my younger  son ,have found i have moved on emotional from  him but mentally it takes more time, my counsellor  says this is very normal and time will also heal this.
Hope this helps a little.

[trkergrl]

thanks for the note. Im the same mentally he haunts me somedays. Let me know if you get any good advise from your conselor will you.

[Nutkin]

To be honest there is nothing more i can do, i have good days and down days about my past and what they did to me with their self denial ways, my counsellor just says its takes longer mentally to adjust then it does emotionally, which is what’s happening to me and i do believe time heals for mentally as am getting a lot better and nearly there as well am busy with my 5 month old son.