Ok so long story short ... I dated a guy for close to a year and fell madly in love with him. Everything was going great until he got some bad news from the dr, he has cancer and there is not anything they can do (he was given 18 months) as if this news wasn't bad enough he decided that he didn't want me to have to watch him suffer... and left. we still talk on occasion but he keeps distance, tells me he still loves me but that he cant handle seeing me suffer with him... what can I do? How do I handle loosing someone who isn't even gone yet? if this is not the right forum someone please point me in the right direction... I don't know what else to do no one I know can give me advise and im lost with no body to talk to please help if you can... thanks
I'm so sorry when I read this. I truly think that, if it were me (and I know what love feels like) I'd try my hardest to give him some space as I cannot imagine how this must feel - it must be truly awful and trust me, he WILL need you and want to spend time with you but he probably just needs to digest and adapt to this before he can, if that makes sense. Don't hesitate to chat to me if u need someone to talk to, I'm here :) lots of love xxx
Thanks everyone for the comments ... no I have not been to the Dr with him he wouldn't let me but I know what meds he has been taking and what they are for ... I'm trying to give him the space he needs but have also let him know that any time day or night no matter what I'm here for him ... he doesn't want sympathy from anyone so when he told me he asked that I not speak to anyone about it ... between the pain of the situation and that I needed and probably still need to talk it out ... that's y I'm here not sure what else to do ...
Ya know, if I were given a horrific diagnosis of cancer---- it would cause me to do a few things. Now this is hard to hear but one thing it would do is make me really clear about who I wanted to be with and who I didn't during a difficult time. I had a tragic death in my family and it was a very hard time. During that period of my life, I did let go of relationships that were 'work' or people that I didn't feel as close to as say I did my family or old friendships. I didn't have the energy to deal with trying to make a relationship work.
That he is pulling away could be a measure of the fact that your relationship was growing and had potential but wasn't at the level yet to him that he wants to go through this with you.
I'm so sorry to say that as I know this hurts a lot. Give him some space and tell him you are there if he needs you. peace
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.