I have been married for almost 5 Years, and while I have made my share of mistakes me and the wife are working things out. I made new commitments and really tried to make things right, and was having a lot of success. Recently she has made a decision that she no longer wants or desires to be Married. She says she loves me but she wants to be alone and finds herself. It just feels like she no longer cares. I have made personnel sacrifices, been there for here through health situations, unemployment, the list goes on. I feel so angry, and used. It seemed like as she got to a certain status, she jumped ship. How do I start to come to grips with this? I can’t be the only one.
Hi.....no you're not the only one, and I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
Sometimes while married we grow apart or discover that we don't have the love that will hold a marriage together, having this happen so early in the marriage says your wife wasn't totally on-board from the start. She may have thought she was, and meant well but it just isn't there for her. Also, I don't know what you mean by "I have made my share of mistakes." It can depend on what type of mistakes you made that may have driven her to this point. But trying to figure out "why" this happened is just spinning your wheels and you need to move on. You tried, and did your best so don't be angry for helping her...it was done out of love. It shows the type of person you are, and be glad it happened while you were only married 5 years and no kids. You'll love again and be loved, don't allow this to leave you angry or bitter. Most people who have gone through this eventually reach a point where they can look back and see "why" the break-up had to happen....and this happens when you've truly found happiness with another. Start seeing your friends and doing things you enjoy to stay busy as time will heal your heart. You need to forgive her, this doesn't mean that you condone her actions or ever have to speak to her again...it means you are laying down the anger and walking away. Anger will eat you up inside, you did your best, be proud of that. I wish you all the very best and know you will have the happy and fulfilling life you deserve and want. Take care.
Yes, I agree with mammo as well. You reference mistakes you made and I'm sure your wife made several as well. Sometimes too much goes down to ever feel the same way again about a relationship. Perhaps that is where your wife is at right now.
Sadly, she gives you no option because she has told you she wants out. You must accept it and move on.
Stay busy, think about why this marriage failed and try to take from that what you can to make next time better, be kind to yourself while you are healing.
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