Divorce & Breakups Community
boyfriend left me due to his porn addiction
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to divorce, breakups, anger, child custody, child support, conflict resolution, co-parenting, dating, depression, friends and family, legal, pets, property issues, remarriage, spousal support, and visitation.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

boyfriend left me due to his porn addiction

what is your opinion or experience on the effects of pornography addiction and the partner?
do you subscribe to the COSA 12 step "co-addiction" model, or trauma/PTSD
due to the betrayal/lies?
i am seeking PSTD treatment after having gone the 12 step route.  i don't buy into the co-addiction model after have spent over a year in COSA and doing some RCA work with my partner.  now, especially, since his addiction is so severe, he left me suddenly after disclosing that he will never be free of porn, and is tired of hiding and lying to me. i have a chronic illness which gave me a bad scare in my health, it was very traumatic for the both of us.  he couldn't handle it and succumbed to his addiction.  
i just want to recover from the shock and abandonment after having worked so hard and supporting him for a year and a half, with is addiction.

i see a lot of comments about women(mostly) who leave their partners after betrayal, but i see little about porn addicts who abandon their partners to act out in his/her addictions.

all comments welcomed, and i hope to post a new thread when i figure out how to.
thank you
Tara
Related Discussions
2 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi Tara. Addiction to porn can rarely be overcome. Their desires are so strong that they go beyond just porn, to seeing strippers, prostitutes, any form of cheating to get their "fix."  I think a lot of women are too embarrassed to admit that they have been betrayed in this way.  As much as it hurts, I think he did you a favor and you will be better off.  A friend of mine recently went thru this same thing, and she found out by accident about her husband's addiction and the extremes he went to with it.  She talked to several specialists and was told that this is one of the hardest addictions to kick.  Her husband is in denial and refuses to seek help.  Feeling betrayed in so many ways and that their 15 year marriage has been based on lies....she left him.  This wasn't even enough to make him want to seek help.  It's a sad situation, but she said she can no longer trust him, will always wonder where he is and what he's doing, and she didn't deserve this. Life is one big fantasy to these men, and it's the women who gets hurt by it all. He had a choice and he chose his addiction, a tough thing to happen to anyone.  I think this would be a life long struggle with the two of you, and one day you will look back and be happy he pulled the plug on this.  I do wish you all the best, it's a tough pill to swallow.  Take care.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi there,
I believe you are absolutely right.  I have a chronic illness which limits me to some extent,
so it's hard to be faced with such a hard situation on my own.  My "friends" aren't exactly beating down my door to support me and my family lives far away.
NYC is a lonely place when you're down and out.

This is why I posted here.  I feel very much alone.

I still fight to go into remission and to open up and embrace my life.  
Thanks for your response.

Tara
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Divorce & Breakups Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Relationships Answerers
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
1268057_tn?1418174381
Blank
Londres70
France
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
TTinKKerBBell
CA
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
UnsureMS
Austin, TX