dumped by fiance, by text after 5years!!!

hey everyone on saturday my fiance of 5years dumped me by text.
hes at uni and was acting very odd lately, saying he was busy working (as hes in his final year) so i trusted him like an idiot.
He went to the cinema with his spanish female friend from his halls, and when i kicked up a fuss he said i was pathetic.
I voiced myself to her on facebook and said i wasnt comfortable with her going to the cinema alone with my fiance, and instead of backing off got him to drive to nottingham to pick her friend up from the airport. after that she invited him out with her and the girls, then the day after he went to cambrige with them.
he told me late january how much he loved me, and that i was his angel, showed me furtniture that we'd have in our house when he finishes uni in 2months and other plans. then all of a sudden he acts odd. sends 1text per day, when hes 200miles away. says hes working hard all the time, then saturday i talk to him on the phone and he says he'll phone me at 10 and i say ok, and we both say love you, love you, bye bye, love you, love you (our little goodbye thing on the phone) and then we put the phone down, i go to my room, do some hoovering, come back down see my phone has a text and it says "christina ive got to be honest with you i dont think i love you, and more so ive cheated on you and i dont think its fair. im going to turn my phone off now, give you time to think.talk to you soon."
and that was it, 5years gone.
i feel so hurt and alone, and scared of being single again as its unfamiliar.
i think he chose the cowards way out and shows he has no balls.
he also told me he had impotence from stress when he came down for valentines day and i felt sorry for him.
i thought i was a parnoid gf and went on antidepressants thinkn i was ill, but i was subconsiously knowing something i think.
sorry this is long, i just needed to vent and ask for advice on how to get over this.
thanx

[freephilly]

I am so sorry to hear about the cowardly way your fiancee chose to end your relationship.  He does not sound like much of a man.  Well, no matter.  He dumped you and you need to move on.  I have learned that it doesn't really matter whether you are the dumper or the dumpee.  When it's over, it's over and time to move on.  It can be hard to recognize the exact moment of the death of a relationship, but when you do, it's time to put it behind you.  I was in terrible emotional pain for five years after my ex-husband left me for another woman until it finally hit me.  **** happens.  Husbands stop loving their wives for no reason at all and vice versa.  No one is really to blame sometimes.  We have to just put that relationship in a box labeled "over and done with" and simply move on.  I finally get it after all these years.  My wish for you is that you don't waste precious time wallowing in despair but instead are able to reach out to someone new and grab some happiness before all of your allotted time is used up. You may or may not find another person to love.  What is important is that you find happiness and that is something that is frequently found by turning inward.  God bless and I wish you peace.

[jo929]

first you say he was your fiance for 5 years surely you should have known that he could not be your fiance  for ever. when person is engaged 5 years you can bet there will not be a marriage i have seen this happen many times if you are not married he has the choice to leave you also have the choice, he is not worth your tears just think of it that way and get on with your life but remember next time make it a short engagement and dont move in and get to familar with him it could happen again I am sorry that you had this happen it does to so many. i know you know the old saying why buy the cow when the milk is free i do not mean to hurt you, but there is a lot of truth in this saying  . i am sorry you were hurt by this man and wish you lots of luck  jo            

[Annasmom327]

I was in a similar situation.  I was with my daughters father for nine years and when I was seven months pregnant he dumped me via text message.  To agree with freephilly, those guys are not men.. THEY ARE COWARDS!!  I am still in the healing process because (I thought) this guy was my partner, best friend and the father of my child and I just couldn't believe that he would do that to me.  I am coming to realize however that we (myself and my daughter) are better off without him.  People make decisions without thinking of the consequences/ effects they have on other people.  Although they may not be directly affected right now, what goes around comes around.  We may be crying now but we will be laughing again.  It just takes time.  Be strong and just think at least you do not have to see this guy again.  I have to be civil to my ex for my daughters sake.   Enjoy being single again and know there is life after a hurtful breakup.  

[irish_pride]

O.M.G What a ***hole ok so now your alone and probably very pist off but you know what i agree with the last comment WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND i truely believe in that and love to stand back and watch it come back around kharma is a b***h and believe me it will catch up to him don't even waste your time on asking why or what happend just walk away like a real woman i know it hurts but keep your pride and dignity don't let him think or know he has just crushed your world even if he has i have been thru alot of pain in the past and i know people always say take some time for yourself to lick your wounds but in the past i have went right out and met new people and believe me it helped me so much and kept my mind off of the looser i just got rid of so wether you go out there right away or not just keep your head up and walk tall everyday that passes only makes you stronger you will be ok please keep in touch with us we are here for you and remember woman are and always have been stronger than men he will be full of regrets soon and probably come crawling back like a little b***h they always do good luck sweetie bye take care

[pinkroses]

hi thanx for your replies :) Ive found it really hard over this last week and i do still miss him like an idiot and hate myself because i consider sometimes taking him back, if he did come back, then other times i say NO! its kinda confusing. I sort of always expected it as he is only 21 and has been with me since he was 17, but still its never nice.
Im 24 and had a little more experience sexually than him,its probably something he had to discover, however i wish he'd done it years ago or we go on  abreak and him do it. it hurts like mad, i imagine every little detail of him having sex with her and imagine him putting on protection and everything, its the 1st thing i think of in the morning and last thing at night.
I havent spoken to him since that night, he sent that text and i never replied to it, nor phoned him. Nothing for almost 2weeks.
doesnt matter anyway xxx

[Annasmom327]

The way you feel is normal.  Trust me.  Besides myself, I know other people that have been dumped and considered taking their ex's back but DON'T!!!!  I am going through a very similar situation right now and you know what, even though I might feel like I want him back I am not going to put myself in a situation where I could get hurt again by the same person.  It will take time for you to get over him but you will.  In the event that he does want to come back, it is up to you to make a decision of whether or not you want to forgive and forget but don't be surprised if the something else happens or he has a change of heart again.  Be strong.  No one can tell you how to feel but as I always tell my friends after a situation like this, if you decide to take him back you are chosing to accept what he has done in the past and anything he will do in the future.  

[Berto999]

my ex ended it over the phone, and thru text messages. Refusing to see me, when all i wanted was a sense of closure.

I'm not happy to see that is happened so someone else, but it's almost comforting to know that others have gone through this. It really does solidify the idea that the other person (my ex gf) was being cowardly.

And maybe for you, and myself, and others, it is proof that it's better it ended. You would never want to be with a hypocrite who can say they love and care about you yet not even have the dignity to let you say good bye face to face.

The respect he showed you, you should show him. Which is none.