Muy emotions have ranged from depression, sadness, hoplesseness, to now anger. I am mostly angry with myself for the drinking I struggled with that did damage to the marriage. I am also angry with my ex who took advantage of me in the settlement agree and is breaking my back and doesn't care - just wants what she wants. I always put everything in one pot and now she is doing her own thing, strutting around like she's all that going,out dating on my money. I wanted to give the kids the child support directly and she went off. The other day my son asked me for 40 bucks - i give each kid 1000.00 per month to her. she just seems very unemotional towards me - this whole thing now 10 months old and is killing my spirit, i have no interest in dating or seeing other woman.
Ten months into it is not long at all. With my husbands divorce to his first wife, it took a full 2 years before they started developing a "business" relationship instead of a resentful, bitter, angry relationship. You need more time. Try to release all your anger from your body. The anger will only hurt you and your children. The money situation stinks but you must except it and do it willingly without bitteress. I am still paying my husband's first wife even though his son is 18 because now he is disabled. She married a rich guy and we are poor. She got breast implants, liposuction, tummy tuck, tans yar round, does the botox, and had lazer surgery to her eyes, and teeth are all new. I could be real bitter but realize she's just always trying to fix herself on the outside because she is seriously broken on the inside. And this is all temporary. You need to take care of yourself and don't think about what she's doing and how she spends the cash. You can't control those things. .. so release them. Join a yoga class or do sports to help release some aggression. Don't be destruction against your own body, but use your pain to gain something. Gain strength mentally, spiritually, and physically.
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