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heart broken

So my boyfriend and i have been living together for 2 years im 21 nd he is 20.we have a bby nd im pregnant.we argue everyday now nd we get to,the point were we physically hurt eachother.really bad.we both do it.i love him nd i kno he does to.but im really tired of this relationship even when we try to make things better  for the sake of our children.i have told him,so many times that we are jst traumatizing my bby.nd i want to quit the relationship.but he beggs nd crys saying he gonna kill himself,he runs out the door like crazy.nd i end up calling,i jst feel sorry fr him.i kno he loves his child.but i jst had enough.no more.i also dont leave bcuse i have no where to go.no friends no family at all.i have no job no car no $.wtf this is nt the life i want fr me or my children.pleasr sm1 somebody help me,at least advice or console me a bit.thnk u  :'(
6 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
Honey, you need some help from Women's Services or a shelter.  Not that you need to run away, you just need advice and counsel.  Please call your county and find out where to call or go.  Hurting each other really badly physically and acting crazy like running out the door, none of this is going to work.  You aren't going to be in any position to raise two babies this way.  Can you go to your family where they are?
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973741_tn?1342346373
Yes, I totally agree with anniebrooke.  These issues are overwhelming I'm sure.  I'm sure you've scared yourself about yourself that you too can become violent like your partner.  That is a scary realization about ourselves.  I think that down the road, looking into some type of counseling to work on anger management for you (and obviously for him too) would be well worth it.  but you have to problem solve for the immediate situation.  A woman's shelter is going to hopefully be able to help you.  Yes, you may go on assistance but that is better than being out on the street or in a physically abusive relationship.  Things to consider and I know this is painful---  but it is an option that I will just mention.  Adoption for the baby you are carrying might be a wonderful thing for all involved.  A couple that can't have a child will be so blessed to receive one and you will have time to get your life together so that when you do want another child and the timing is right, you can do it in a way that is safe and comfortable for a child to be born into.  

Agree with anniebrooke, that going to wherever your family is would be good.  Even if it is just a shelter system there but if they'd take you in, that would be wonderful.  

You can not call him back or play the game of being made to feel responsible for someone that claims they are going to kill themselves.  That is manipulative and totally unfair for him to do that to you.  IF he is suicidal, call 911.  They can judge and if deemed he is indeed unsafe to himself, put him in a 3 day involuntary hold.  Otherwise, you can not control his actions.  Are drugs or alcohol involved?  

Anyway, we are not responsible for someone else's life that way  and it is unfair for him to put that on you.  You need to go into survival mode for yourself and your kids and get out of there.  

Get out as soon as possible as this situation is toxic to you and your baby.  good luck
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6395937_tn?1380922492
same here. i left with our two sons and went to a domestic violence shelter to at least get away from all the problem. when you and him are always together it causes stupid arguments (in all relationships) happens to me. Also when you dont have a place, job, car, money nothing works because you guys are not stabled or ready. I am 21 and he is 26 and we both are trying to get a job. the shelter helps you into your own apt so i would be able to have time and find a job that pays enough for me to move to a better apt. So give it time and we fought also. He is really strong for me and i was the one mostly getting hurt. But we only argue and w.e haven't fought yet... But just give it time cause trust me, with babies in the picture its more financial problems and he probably is depressed and trying to cope with that. Men are not as patient and passionate like us mothers are.. ;) Give it time
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973741_tn?1342346373
I'm not a strong believer in giving a bad relationship time when abuse is involved.  There is no time in life for that.  good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank,i appreciate the reply.i,actually,did give him 3 months see how everuthing goes.i love him nd do want my children to,b raised with,a mother nd father,but if things jst nt,work out.im gonna stay strong and walk out.thank,u  :-)
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank,u,fr replying.i,appreciate it.i actually  gsve him 3 months fr a big huge change on both parts his nd mine.nd i wnt put up,with nothing at all nomore.so i jst pray every thing works out o
For the best of us.thsnks fr replying..i
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