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i am in love with another woman
hi, i know this is going to sound horrible but over the last few months i have fallen in love with a 22 year old woman...i am 40 and my wife and i do nothing but fight.  this other woman is willing to move away with me.  i love my wife like a family member and don't want to cause her pain.  but i woke up this morning and realized that if i stay with my wife i will never have any fun for the rest of my life.  the whole situation is making me sick.  my wife and i have really grown apart over the last 3 years.  no similar interests.  i don't know what to do..i am soo torn it's making me sick
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I would be very wary of a woman willing to run away with you knowing your married (if she does) that is not really the best start to any relationship.

Have you talked to your wife?  Expressed how you feel?  She could have no idea and if she did maybe things would be better, maybe counselling would help you get things back on track?

Look she's 22, yes age differences can work but seriously??? Do you know how much people change from 22 to 30?!?!  You could throw everything away and be in exact same position in 5 or 6 years.  If it were me I would never be able to fully trust a man that left his wife for me...if he's willing to do it once it could happen again.  I think you are infatuated with the idea of her and the idea of fun and excitment - dude that fades no matter how young she is.  Eventually you get comfortable and then what?

Obviously you love your wife, or you wouldn't be this torn - I think you owe it to her to sit her down and really let it all out leaving no feeling left undiscussed.  At the very least if you two decide to go your separate ways at least it's a decision made after communicating.
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177641 tn?1189759437
Nicely said becks. If I were luring another man away from his wife, I wouldn't be in it for the long-run. Not knowing that 5-6 years later, another younger woman could also lure him away from me.

chicaknevel, think long and hard before you get involved with another person. And give your wife a chance to know you're feeling this way. Talk about your need for more excitement - let her know it's very important to you. If it's truly hopeless, then end this relationship before you pursue another. Adding another person to situation won't make it any easier or simpler to deal with. You can count on things getting much worse with your family if you decide to run away with another woman.
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177641 tn?1189759437
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Becks and slow healer are right...the grass isn't always greener on the other side....my ex husband can tell you that!
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i agree with the previous responses and would like to add this. infatuations happen to everyone.  based on what you said you are very much in love with your wife or you would not care about her pain (the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference).  you shoud look deep inside and try to figure out if what your feeling for this other woman is real, more than likely its not.  Your at an age where you begin to feel like life has past you by, maybe your feeling that this younger woman can give you something that your wife can not, and i am sure that she can and will, for a short time.  It will end though, more than likely it will end with you losing your wife and this younger woman.

So yes, i agree with the other comments, give your wife the respect she deserves and at a minimum communicate your feelings to her, give her a chance to be the ONE again.  dont throw her life and your life away because you want to have fun again.  Have you looked at yourself? are you trying to be romantic exciting and fun? chances are if you do that she will reciprocate.  good luck
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