jealousy after break up

[BeenyCI]

My husband left me 8 weeks ago - we have 2 children aged 5 and 2 and im 6 months pregnant with our 3rd baby. He is totally adamant its over but i cant seem to come to terms with it!
I can handle the every day stuff and am starting to deal with not having him around but it is the jealousy thing i cant cope with. I feel like i could physically vomit everytime i think of him being with another girl sexually and also sharing his life with someone other than me. I cant stop these feelings and they are feally starting to wreck my head! Any suggestions.

[mami1323]

I am so sorry.  I just don't know how someone can do something like that.  I totally understand your feelings of disgust and I don't blame you for having a difficult time with those thoughts.  You have to learn to control your thoughts.  I know, easier said than done.  What I would do is everytime I would start to have a horrible thought, I would go do something to distract myself.  A word puzzle, or I would come on this website or I would sit down and write how I was feeling.  It would help with getting out all of my emotions.  I don't know what else to tell you other than it takes time.  I know what helped my fiance's cousin get over her 18 year breakup was some anti-depressants.  It kept her focused and allowed her to make it through.  Once she was feeling better, she stopped taking it.  I know being pregnant, you can't really do that right now and I'm sure the hormone fluctuations aren't helpful.  Try the first option of mental distraction.  I just hope you have a great friend that you can lean on for support.  Good luck sweetie and I wish only the best for you.  

[iam1butterfly]

Yes, that's a real tough one.
Seeing him with someone else will weigh heavily, I'm sure.
And, with the young kids, it's not like you can avoid him.
In time... you'll reach a point where you'll get past the dry heaves
(an involuntary emotional reaction).
Like mami says, look for some kind of support system
(i.e. family, friends, counseling, this forum) to help you process your
thoughts and see you through this. Take care!

[therese83]

What you are feeling is perfectly normal.

'I cant cope with' give yourself a break, you are not made of steel, what he has done is extreme.

Let yourself feel the feelings, walk around crying if you want to.  you are entitled to your feelings, he cant take that away.  I wish you and your children the very best of luck and take support wherever you can.

[jewelscute1]

How I feel for you.  I really do.  It breaks my heart.  I know you are in so much emotional pain.  Just remember and keep telling yourself that God is giving you these obstacles to help you get stronger.  He doesn't give you anything that you can't handle.  You are strong and will be even stronger after this wave of negativity, leaves you.  He will regret it and want you back.  Just keep telling yourself that and I promise that it will help and he will.  If it is years down the road, it will happen.

I still get those nauseous feelings about my ex, but I have to accept that he has been with others as well as me.  It took me years to actually be with another man, and I don't think I was ready at that time, it was more of a revenge thing and he'd do it mentality, and I wish I would have waited until I was mentally stable but I didn't.  Just give it time.  You will heal.  You two weren't meant to be.  Be strong for the kids.  What is his time limit?  Would you take him back in a few years after all of that?  How would you view him if you two did get back together, would you nag him if he did sleep with someone?  

I wish nothing more than for you to be happy (even though I don't know you).