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lost and confused..
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lost and confused..

Alittle back ground info on my relationship, it started out pretty great on 3/9/11 almost a year ago, he treated me amazing, like a princess.. he made me feel like nobody else mattered but me. And I had never experienced that before. I loved it. He seemed soo..perfect. But I had all these girls message me on Facebook telling me to watch myself and that he was a Cheater and that he was trying to talk to them and stuff, well I blew it all off for awhile then it kinda started to click when different girls were all saying sort of the same stuff, so I asked him about it.. he got upset and said no they are all just jealous because they wanted him. So I sucked it up and for once in my life trusted him, not that I didn't trust him, but because of family and past relationships I have really bad trust issues. But i really trusted him.. well after a couple months of being together he got kicked out of his moms house, and I don't know why, but I left with him.. I left my house my nice clothes my...everything to be with him. I know you all will say that was a bad idea, cause now I do know that so pleas dont comment on that. But once we found a place to stay, things got tense.. I started to realize a lot.. and I found out he really did cheat on me.. and the three months we stayed at that house he tried his best to hook up with girls and talk and invite them over.. thing is, then he wasn't working I was atleast 40 hours a week. Then we moved back to his moms, but in the apartment below her but only for a month.. and things seemed to get better, although I became pregnant, but i had an abortion.. because my mom was pushing it on me and he kind of made me feel like I trapped him, I stopped taking my birth control although he knew I wasnt.. well once we moved out of his moms we moved into his half brothers very very trashy house. I mean roaches bugs forty very bad house. I cried the hole week before and the hole first week because that's where we were gonna live. I didn't like it at all and it really pulled us apart. We fought all the time and his brother was a complete Assholeee to me because he said I was a "*****". Only because I am one of those girls that has confidence, not to much and not to little. And since moving there everything just kept going down hill more and more. Then we got kicked out because they stole my cat while I was at work and took it to The spca. And we went and stayed at hotels for a month until we got our own apartment, once we got out of his brothers house everything got real good. Bit now the past two months things haven't been so good.  I am now again pregnant, 27 weeks at the moment and he just seems so not interested, like everything else matters. He will treat me ok when he feels like it, but I can just see that he doesn't give a crap anymore, then other day we got into a fight and he tried calling his dad in sc, we are from pa. To move down there. Then lie to me about it after I already knew. He says he wants to be with me BUT he acts just the opposite. And I'm at my wits end, I already feel like I'm going to be a single mother. But idk I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I made a lot of mistakes by giving him the second chances by getting pregnant again even though I love my daughter to death already. I feel like I shouldn't have gotten this apartment. I know it will be so hard without him. But I just feel like such a pile of crap.. I dont know what to do or how to confront him about it. Because he is really immature when it comes to talking. If I say I feel this way he will be like oh you don't love me and just go from there. But I do love him. I just don't love what he's doing to me.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Okay.  I must take a few deep breaths here.  I am going to give you my most heartfelt advice from the bottom of my heart.  At THIS point, you need to focus on yourself and this child.  He's . . .well, a disaster.  I don't want to hurt your feelings but am really struggling with why you went along with this for so long as the 'good' times have been a long time ago and very few since the begining.  You've lived hand to mouth in probably unsafe places and in ways I'd never want to just to be with him.  And in the end, I'll think he's gonna be gone soon enough.  I don't know that for sure, but he sure sounds flakey and unreliable.  You are going to be on your own caring for this child.

Could you go back to your moms?  I would reconnect with your family and try to get their support.  You work 40 hours  now which is good----  can you live independently on that?  If not, think about what kind of training you could begin to up your income.  Think about child care for when the baby gets here.  Think about a roommate or going back to your moms.  

I'm sorry.  I wish I could say that this guy sounds like he'll come through for you and you'll get your happy ending with him but there are too many red flags for me to feel that way.  I'm sadly thinking that you are going to be on your own soon.  And really, have been as he doesn't sound like much of an equal adult partner.  

So, I'd think worst case scenario----  what will you do if he's gone.  Get a plan together.  And then do not date after him for a good long while to break your thought process of who would be good to be with. You did give him many chances and questioned your 'trust issues' but I'm afraid that your trust issues were quite valid with this guy.  You should have not second guessed your warning bells.  And you don't want to ever do that again.  good luck dear and I'm really sorry that it is like this. You sound like a nice young lady and I wish you an easy way out right now.  Peace
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1925157_tn?1328932617
Yeah he left about an hour after I posted this and still has not shown his face, we made an agreement whoever logs back on Facebook is the first on to be done. And well he did he got back on. We deactivated them because it caused way to much problems. Well now apperently he had a girl pick him up at the McDonald's down the street... And I have no idea where he is or when and of ur will come back, although all his clothes are here. I bar his wallet and everything. But he has my ipod. That's it. I don't work 40 hours a week anymore I quit that job after he got a job because I couldn't handle my boss anymore, I now have a job with only 20 hours max. And I wouldn't be able to keep our apartment without him. And if we don't keep our lease we have a huge fine to pay. Which *****.. really bad. And its not up for another 11 months I believe.
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1035252_tn?1371343440
What happened to the drug charges and court?  This guy is terrible news. You are well rid of him.
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1925157_tn?1328932617
Well turned put my mom knew the guy who arrested me. And when he saw her he looked at her and said hi! She said hi he said is that ur daughter she said yeah.... He said I am soo sorry. so he's going to drop all the charges if I give him a lead on someone who actually sells drugs. Because I don't, and never really have.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Oh my goodness.  Okay, so-----  call your mother now and ask for help.  Maybe she can help you with the landlord and come up with a solution.  I'm actually a landlord and we can break a lease-----  and would do that for someone in distress.  We'd try to re rent the apartment and if we did so and there was no damage, we'd give back the full deposit.  Some people are pretty reasonale if given the oportunity.  

I don't know what happened with this drug thing, I don't know about that.  But in general, this sounds like such an unstable situation.  I'd ask for help from your mom and stay away from this boyfriend.  I think he's going to ruin your life if he stays in it.  

I wish you luck.  See if your mom will help you.  Peace
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1268057_tn?1399131913
Your statement....."Because he is really immature when it comes to talking. If I say I feel this way he will be like oh you don't love me and just go from there. But I do love him. I just don't love what he's doing to me."  Yes, you probably do love him, but I would be loving myself and my unborn baby more and LEAVE before he destroys your life beyond repair.  

I have been following your posts for a while.   Unfortunately, the situation is worse then I thought it would end up being.  

At this point, who cares how he will feel if you try to talk to him.  Just remove yourself from the relationship.  It is apparent he doesn't care about what you have to say or about how you feel.  Plus, I fear if you continue to deal with him you will end up losing custody of your child and more.

As Specialmom suggested contact your mother and see if she can help.  People break leases all the time.  Yes, you will have to pay a penalty, but it would be one time and you would be out of this "living arrangement" with this guy.

Sticking around and letting someone ruin your life isn't the way to go.  Plus, I wouldn't subject my child to this either.  You deserve better and so does your daughter (baby).  

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Avatar_f_tn
ask your mom foe help, nobody in this world loves you more than her, and get his ss# to file for child support, he is old enough to have sex, then he's man enough to support your baby, God bless you & your baby <3
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Avatar_f_tn
and You love Him why...........?

You need to go home to Your Mother.
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Avatar_f_tn
My husband and I have been married for 3.5 years & we have a one year old son. He just got back from training for the army for 5 months & i just found out he slept with someone by finding letter from a girl. The letter talked about how sorry she felt & was trying to make him feel better as well, which tells me he immediately felt guilty. But why hasn't he told me about it yet?! He's had a history of flirting with other girls over text during our marriage & i always knew to would come to this. I always thought that if he did cheat, we would get a divorce, but now I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if i can ever trust him again & id hate spending the rest of our marriage and my life wondering and worrying. I don't know what to do when I contacted ***@**** my problem was over.

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