need a little help with my marriage

me and my husband have been married for 3 years....we have a10 month old baby girl and in the past have had no (almost none) problems.....lately we arrgue everyday about dumb thing...little things...anything.....i love him more than ever.....but sometimes i get so broken hearted over him not listening to anything i say.....he'll says hes sorry but.....he works over 40 hrs a week so i can stay at home with the baby and he goes to school...i realize hes tired and busy...but i feel like sometimes hes unhappy with what he has.

also up til after my baby was born....our sex life was great almost everynight we had sex.....i admit i am the one who wants it more....but he used to be all over me....but since our little girl was born he
seems to not want it.....EVER....does it have to do with my weight gain....(i gained 30 lbs)...he says no....i just never get a straight answer.......

our last fight was bad...over money.....i recently lost my dad and need my husband more than ever....i actually thought of leaving.....really leaving.....i love him and otherwise am very happy...please guys i need some advice

[dove3053]

It sounds like your just going through a little bad patch. I think you have it right and it sounds like he is just tired and busy. Remember he is working and going to school to try to make a good life for both of you (at least it sounds that way). I don't know to many couples that don't have fights about money. Many men don't open up about what's bothering them. Could be he is worried about money.
Doesn't sound like he's done anything really wrong. I don't know why you would think of leaving him if you really love him. Like I said I think your just have a little bad patch and things will work out.

Dove

[becks715]

All relationships go through ups and downs.  Think about how much change has happened in the last year of your marriage.  Pregnancy, birth, baby raising, dropping to one income, losing your dad having a hubby working AND going to school.  That's overload emotionally.  

I think you just need to realize that life brings change.  I don't think the sex is him not interested he is probably way too exhausted the poor guy.  He's trying to give you everything and the baby everything and go to school to better himself - thats a lot on one's plate, who has time to think about sex!  Believe him when he tells you it's not your weight gain because I'm sure it isn't - you're now the mother to his child and loving wife might be a bit of a difficult time to adjust to being a parent and still "having sex" you know?

Every couple fights at one point or another over money.  That's easily fixed - find a babysitter and get a part time job to help out.  Even paying a babysitter you will probably still come out ahead.  If you aren't ready to go back to work at all then I think you need to cut him some slack.  The guy is doing everything he can to keep you guys a float financially.

I think when he gets home you need to set time aside each night to just talk.  Talk about his day, and yours, let him know you need him to be there to help you through the loss of your dad even if it's only to listen to you vent or hold you when you cry.  And let him know how much you appreciate how hard he works for the family.  No one said marriage or parenting was going to be easy.  A huge change to adjust too and you two need find your balance together with these new things in your lives.  I wish you the best of luck.  Go talk to your husband and spend some time just together after the baby is down for bed.  Forget the sex right now, I bet as soon as you do it will start to come back.  The root of the issue is the stress and adapting to the role changes, not the sex.  When you find your new balance the sex will come back.

[jenjen07]

thank you both for the good advice.....i did talk to my husband and i think where headed back on track.....i agree with both of you its just a rough patch... and we'll get through this...the sex will fix itself when all other things are in order....thanks for the suppost and advice again.....God bless
                                              Jenjen07