need feedback

OK - we don't have a good marriage - husband is alcoholic - he take fishing and hunting (what he tells me) trips very often - I can never get him on the phone during those trips - so Wednesday evening he gets a call at 11:30 pm - guy on the other end says "my name is ___ - I'm sleeping with your wife ____" and hangs up.  husband tried to call the number back but the phone was turned off (came from a cell phone) - so today (friday) I get the mail and there is a letter addressed to me - no return address - inside it says "Your husband ___ has a girlfriend.  He's planning on leaving you high and dry - protect yourself"  
any and all input appreciated.

[SeriousSam]

Sounds like someone is screwing with both of you.  This is actually a technique listed as a way of screwing with people that was listed in a book on revenge that used to be sold in the old SOF magazines.

[treazzure007]

wow.  im appalled that someone would do something so terrible.  wouldn't have ever thought of anything like this myself

[SeriousSam]

Actually working with father's rights, I have seen people do MUCH worse to each other.

[scotty2]

you are right - although he does admit he is an alcoholic - he calls himself a "functioning" alcoholic - he has no desire to do anything about it.  The trust issue - right again - I mean, the man has 2 cell phones and 9 times out of 10 he won't answer either of them - Found a charge on a store credit card for "womens clothing" - same day that he didn't come home that evening - and he didn't give me any clothing - I keep a calander of events - may sound crazy but it was suggested to me to do it.  Putting all that aside - how can you trust someone who is so secretive - has his own friends - hates all my friends (and the number is dwindling because he gets so ****** when I try to see or talk to them) -  2 days ago I told him our marriage wasn't working - that we are never together - he is in the bar everynite - comes home at any and all hours - eats (we never eat together because I can't wait until 9 or 10 to eat so I eat at 6 or 6:30) - he then sits in his recliner, belly aches about how he is going to dye (had his gallbladder out a couple months ago and is in worse pain now - but won't go back to the doctor) - then he falls asleep - and and the next day it starts all over - I feel like I am in the movie groundhog day - so I tell him that divorce would be best - and he then says I am out to screw him (not so - just want what I brought into the marriage) - then starts in about how I sit on the computer doing "secret stuff" - First I only go on the computer when he is not home - out of boredom - then my secret stuff is craigslist and here on occasion.  Anyway - the day I brought up divorce (did it in the morning so he was not drunk) he suddenly got all nice - came home by 5 (owns is own business so no time clock involved) didn't drink and watched movies with me.  The next day it was back to groundhog day.  
Sorry - I am rambling - it is just so frustrating - how do I approach ??

[jo929]

I would be real careful, i have seen the ole bank account cleaned out by many a husband and the girlfriend, and the wife is still wondering just what happened, do not let him beat you to the bank, I know that i shoild mention that you know he is an alcoholic, also he cheats, do you want this, if so maybe you can put up with it, then again i could be wrong just a thought   luck  jo