sad time does everyone have them

Some of you already know me, it has been 4 months since my husband left me after 30 years for a 22 yr old bimbo..we were happy well that is what I thought....Anyway I have been going along very good and life is getting better and better and then the other night my son came home late from the club and I was asleep and my son said I called out to my ex...my son woke me up....as he said I must of been dreaming I became very upset and I cant seem to get over doing that...can anyone give me any insight...yes I miss my family life..but I have wonderful children and a wonderful job and I have gone back to uni so life is going good so why is this happening....

[ku111]

It was just that...a dream.  Just a small bump.  You invested much of your life into your family and marriage.  Nomatter what he did and all the pain that he has caused, it would be very difficult to just all a sudden be over it.  It is going to take some time to redefine who you are.  You are doing very well I think!  Take one day at a time.  Make this a new day and do just one more thing today just for you.  You have already shown the world how strong you really are.  You did not stand by.  You have picked back up and shown your children what a strong person you are.  You have you and you have your children-this is what is important in the big scheme of things.  YOU have a wonderful day!    

[Londres70]

Hey Linda,

No worries.  This is not unusual.  Keep in mind you were with your soon to be ex for a long time.  

Keep in mind though while you are getting better you STILL are working through all this "stuff."  So you need to allow for some setbacks and don't "beat" yourself up over them.  You should be very proud of yourself as you have come a long way dear in a short amount of time.  

During and after my divorce, I would have these sort of blunders and over time I had them less and less and then one day.....gone.  

Keep forging on Linda.


"L"

[pug3]

i had a dream last night about my ex bf as well....made me want to text or email him. i didnt. im assuming that this will happen and will happen less frequently as time goes on, i hope!! are you in therapy at all? i am, it helps a lot. my therapist gives me "homework" each session...something to think about. :) have a good day!

[TrudieC]

This is so normal.  When I was in my 2nd marriage there were times when I used my first husband's name when addressing my new husband.  Awkward!  Just keep moving forward.  You're doing great!

[specialmom]

I agree with everyone here and just want to offer encouragement to keep moving forward.  Our mind works through things in different ways and dreams are normal.  You will have moments in which you are sad about what has happened, doubt things, long for the past.  You wouldn't be human if you didn't.  But that doesn't mean you aren't establishing a happy life for yourself now and in the future.  

I think you are doing remarkably well.  I really do.  Peace

[elvy66]

This message is to everyone who replied, thankyou, I am still having a sad time, but I know it will pass....this is a big week and maybe because I am on my own it makes it all a big scary.....I am taking the ex to court because he is just not being nice....I start uni this week and my landlord has told me to get rid of my bird as he makes to much noise and I have had him a very long time....I hate being on my own but I am getting use to it...and I am tried of being strong all the time....I feel like I have been the strong one all my life and sometimes I would just like it to stop just for an hour I feel exhausted.....I will get through this and I will be a better person....I just want to skip toward to then....I know selfish....but does it hurt to feel selfish just once.....

[specialmom]

Oh, good luck at court.  I know that is hard and emotional.  You are brave and can do it!  We are all cheering YOU on there.  And I'm sorry about your bird.  Have you a plan for this??  I think you have every right to be selfish here and there.  We all do and need to take care of ourselves.  I am wishing you peace and for this week to go well.  

[elvy66]

Thankyou, and I will let you know how court goes, my sam (bird) is going to a breeder and will be making babies so hopefully he will be happy....thankyou again and hope things in your life are happy....