takin care of business

   Well the ups and downs of a husband leaving are a lot to handle but I'm getting my ducks lined up will apply for low income housing and go to family law councellor on the 8th and find out what the options are for me.  Knowledge is power thats for sure .  He isn't going to Mexico another pipe dream of his so thats good.  I told my 6 year old the truth that dadddy and mnommy can't live to gether anymore and it has nothing to do with him the other son is severly retarded so he dosen't understand whats going on ingnorance is bliss I quess.  Can't look at my wedding pictures I start to cry loss of a dream.  I was willing to work at it but it takes two.  He is never here must have some chicky somewhere or something what a ***** I find myself hating him but it will turn to indifference soon I hope he is being not abusive anymore because he knows he's going.  Never thought this could happen with us I was codependent on him and a doormat but life will soon be better I hope must beleive in oneself and know it's no reflection of my self worth. I love the song by connie frances whos sorry now.   Honor thyself and don't take **** from anyone never again.

[ibizan]

U go girl.....u go for urself and ur children....i am 52 single all my life.I will never settle for manure from anyone.i had a loss of a dream with x...rid my home of every picture and memory of him.There is no pricetag on self-respect and dignity...big cyberhug 2 u and ur children!:))

[dyblue]

           Thanks I appreciate that.  blue

[lavenderrose]

Very proud of you.  You may feel bad now but it'll get better.  I promise.  I was in a long term relationship in college with a guy that I knew would never marry me because of our religious differences.  I thought that I would be miserable without this guy but when we finally broke up, I was happier than I had ever been.  Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from the situation to realize how unhappy we are and how happy we can be!

Good luck and keep us posted.

[ibizan]

In time when a lot of this pain and chaos has passed u will come to cherish the peace and quiet in ur life minus this man.I think of you a lot and marvel at ur strength and send a lot of prayers ur way and ur sons way.What a self centered fool ur husband is and one day his karma will come around on him and clip him in the rear end.Your sons deserve a more healthy male role model in their lives.Its been over a year for me now that I ejected my x.I love having a peaceful meal,the lack of drama and his histrionics and also the not having to listen to the Jerry Springer show dynamics of his dysfunctional family..don't miss that damn cell phone ringing all the time with some new crises!

[dyblue]

    Thanks   I'm going to tred softly and carry a big club.  I hate what it's doing to my six year old I'm going to get him into councelling so he doesn't think it's his fault.  Your right what a selfish ***** hating him makes me all warm and fuzzy inside but I will be nice for my boys sake .   At least I don't want him anymore he brought up something I did 14 years ago before we were married and tried to shame me . I said thats in the past and I refuse to feel quilty about something  I did and never did again.  Tells me he's justifing what he's doing.   I hope he's not on cocaine again cause I need some of his money for his kids.  He's been working 24 hrs a day yeah right thinks I'm stupid but  thats fine .   I'm going to be better of  alone I've been alone anyways and it will be nice to not be put down everyday, my mom is happy we are spliting up that shpould say something she has seen the verbal abuse she said she'd like to strangle him.  What comes around goes around and he's going to be a lonely grumpy old man glad I won't be there I'm only 45 and look 35 so I'll be fine .  Thanks again for your support Happy new year.

[ibizan]

My x was clean from cocaine 4 years and relapsed.Refused help and turned in2 the manure pile from hell as well.Oh dy blue Pusser u will forge ahead in2 this new year with a new life and  a restored sense of sanity and good ur taking ur 6 yr.old for counseling...poor boy!we both know that continuing to live in habitaul conflict would destroy u both.Keep on keepin on!:)))

[dove3053]

You have my deepest respect for what you are doing. I always say just because it's the right thing to do doesn't make it any easier.
Good Luck,

Dove

[chigirl29]

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. I think therapy for both you and both your sons would help.  I know you mentioned that the other son had a medical condition, but maybe he might need a little extra care too.  I'm not sure.  If not, he really is the lucky one.  Divorce is hard.
Take care of you and yours:)

[dyblue]

  Thanks, things will be fine I'm getting lots of support  from my son's school. The six year old is ADHd so he's concidered special needs too.  I will get finacial help and a new training there is ni way I'm going to work at a dead end job I need a future with my kids and  I have options I never realized.  I feel like a bird with the cage dooe open I'm free to live now without being critized by my husband day after day.  the school councellor is on board too I'm getting more support then I ever got from my husband, applied for low income housing too,  went to family justice councellor feel empowered I', trending lightly and carrying a big club as far as ex goes.  I'll be nice just for my kids and to get what I need,  my husband is being agreeable for now and I want to keep it that way for the boys.  My kids are number one priority.  The little one is starting piano lessons this saturday paid for by his aunt I'm really happy about that good distraction.  Thanks for the post and happy new year.