Aa
A
A
Close
184342 tn?1282592350
writing a letter for a friends custody battle... need help...
I have an ex-coworker who asked me to join her for lunch today,  we have lost touch a little over the past 2 years since we stopped working together-  but she is a good person-  we were pregnant with both of our first children together while we worked together-  my dd is 3 1/2 and hers is just now 3...  anyway...  she is entering a pretty nasty custody battle apparently and her laywer asked her to get letters from friends and people who have seen her with her kids supporting that she is a good mother basically....  I told her I would write the letter for her, and I have no problem with saying she is a good mother-  but I don't know how to start the letter! Who do I address it to,  what should the format be?  Does anyone have an example I could follow or any advise on this?  
Cancel
10 Answers
Page 1 of 1
184342 tn?1282592350
thank you-  I guess my question was more so what the content should be-  I didn't phrase that right...  I am actually an architect and write ALOT of letter, mostly to code officials :)....  I just don't know what to put in the letter...  I know I want to help her out-  she doesn't have much support right now...  I don't know all of the issues,  but I know that I want to help my friend...  I would be crushed if I reached out to my friends and they told me no....  
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar universal
Have you actually seen how she parents?  How she disciplines when she is upset, mad etc.  Unless you are a very close friend to the family prepare to be subpeonaed and to made to tell exactly why you think she is a better parent don't do this.

Reason #1 because the reason people don't write these letters when asked normally is because unless the person who wrote them is there to verify the content they are only heresay, and therefore inadmissable in court.  Why are they not mediating this anyway?  That usually turns out best for the kids.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
100019 tn?1335923317
Didn't you say you had lost touch over the last two years?  So really you don't know that she is a good mother.  Not saying she isn't ...but the first thing the husbands lawyer will say is how relevant anything you have to say is if you haven't seen her in two years.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar universal
MRS Ockert and SAM are right, about seeing her parenting, maybe she could get some  people that she has been with while she had her chidren somewhere or maybe a neighbor. You might write a character reference for her, and what she was like ect ect i do not know whether that would help or not, i know that it is hard to turn a friend down, and i wish you luck  jo
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
184342 tn?1282592350
thanks guys....  it is hard to turn a friend down...  I have seen her some over the past two years, just lost touch a little...  I have seen her parent-  we had our kids at the same time while we worked together...  I am going to post the letter to see what you guys think....  you guys seem to know more about this then me....  it can't hurt either of us, can it?
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
184342 tn?1282592350
here is what I have:  

To Whom It May Concern:

I have known _______ since August of 2004.  We were coworkers for approximately two years together at _______.  _______ and I were the only two employees at this firm for most of our time together professionally and were able to develop a close personal relationship over that time period.  

_______ was pregnant with _______while I was pregnant with my first child during our time together at _______.  We spent a lot of time discussing our children, asking parenting advice from one another and often visited each others homes with our children.

_______ had a very strong bond with _______ and was always interested her education, nutrition and her overall life development.  She was always reading books to _______ and spending as much quality time with her as possible.  She researched the best foods to feed a developing baby and took the time, even as a working mother, to breast feed _______ for an extended time period.  _______ took the initiative to learn popular parent/child learning techniques such as baby sign-language and taught it to _______, and has since taught it to her second child _______.   She was able to find a good balance between providing for her family and spending time with her family.

Since we parted ways professionally we tried to stay in touch as much as possible.  Shortly after she left _______ she gave birth to her second child.  We try to meet for lunch as often as we can and she shows me pictures of both of the kids and tells me all about what they are doing and how they are developing.  It is clear to me in the time that I have known _______ that she is a very loving mother.  She cares dearly for the well-being of her children and seeing that they are provided for both physically and emotionally.  


Sincerely,
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar universal
Sounds good to me  jo
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
184342 tn?1282592350
thanks for your help...  I guess I will get this to her---  I don't see how it could hurt me other then perhaps incoinvience (sp?) me with some time committments...  (man I wish this thing had spell check)!  thanks again!
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Avatar universal
Personally I still think the letter was a mistake since you don't see how she is around her kids but these court things are not balanced anyway.
Comment
Cancel
Comment
Avatar universal
Comment
Comment
Submit Comment
Your Answer
Avatar universal
Answer
Know how to answer? Tap here to leave your answer...
Answer
Submit Answer
A
A
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Divorce & Breakups Community Resources