Hi. What you are experiencing is very personal to you, because we all feel grief in different ways and we all express our grief in different ways - though the journey is a common one with similar periods of time and with both forward and backward steps at certain junctions.
I believe grief comes to us in waves. The first huge and indescribable wave is at the point of loss (sometimes just before it). There is then a period of immense sadness, occasionally mixed with relief that our loved ones are no longer suffering. In the weeks and months that follow, the grief seems to ease as the loss becomes familiar and our other life-chores start to distract us.
But then - and this happens to everyone - the grief seems to hit us all over again, like a thunderstorm. I believe this is our mind starting to realize and accept that loss has happened, for real, and there's nothing we can do to change it. At this point we would do absolutely anything to change things, but change is outside of our abilities, so we cry ... and cry some more ... and we see our loved ones in every object and every routine. This is a dreadful part of the journey - it is dreadful that we have to go through it, but go through it we must if we want to get to where we are going.
These waves will ease and become less frequent. But they can still occur months and years later, and they often take us by surprise. We don't need to be thinking about the best friend we have lost, yet suddenly they can fill our minds again and cause us to grieve for a period of time. This might be a few seconds, a few minutes, or several hours. In some cases it can last days, but rarely more than this.
So what I am saying is be brave, this will get better as time goes on, but expect the occasional day to continue coming when grief takes over. I hope some of what I am saying makes sense to you. Just the other day I had a morning of mourning ... an old dog I had many years ago came into my head for no apparent reason, and tears ran down my face. A few minutes later and I was back to normal, climbing a ladder to do some exterior painting.
The best way to deal with the wave, when it happens, is to first sit down somewhere quiet and have a darn good cry. This releases the tension. Then try distracting yourself, if you can, by being with someone you can talk to about the experience - I'm usually here, or at least at some point within a 24hr period - but a personal and trusted friend or partner would be better. Then, take a walk or do something away from your home that will help you bring a breath of fresh air into your heart and mind.
I hope this helps. You are in my thoughts. Cyber hugs, Tony Xxx
Thanks for your comment, we both are grieving for our beloved 'babys'. This is a grief that has hit me so hard, i never thought it would be this bad, it just shows what an impact Boston had on my life. I think about him everyday and i think i will do for the rest of my life, god only knows how much i have cried and how much i miss him. I'm sure we all feel like this at the dreadful loss of our dear pets, but i thought i was going insane until i came on this site. Tony has helped me tremendously, and when i feel 'ready to burst' i come on here for relief. Thank you and god bless you for your kind words and thoughts. Its nice to know i have someone i can talk to who knows exactly how i feel x
You have gave me some lovely tips on dealing with grief, and yes you are right, it is like a thunderstorm hitting me. i have been awful this past week and my husband came from work tonight and asked me what was wrong with me, he said he could see my eyes looked 'heavy'. I just broke down crying, telling him how much i miss Boston, he held me tight and said he feels exactly the same but is trying to be strong. I think you're totally right about my mind accepting our dreadful loss, i can't believe how right you are. Thank you Tony once again, from the bottom of my heart x
Hi, to the group. I found you while searching for help for Blue, our 8 year old blue healer. It has only been a couple of months since Blue was diagnosed with kidney failure. It has been up and down since this discovery. As I write this, I look at our dear friend, sleeping calmly on her bed in front of me. It has not been calm today. I know it is time to let go, but our dog is so stressed out, we hesitated taking her back to the vets to be pts. She spent 5 days and nights at the vets, and cried when we went to see her, especially my husband.
Well, when she stopped eating and drinking water, 5 days ago, we took her back to our vet. I asked him if I could give her the Sub Q's at home and he showed me how to do this. I stopped this morning. Blue could no longer walk.She had to be carried out to pee. When brought back in she would stand where ever she was put down. And stand, and stand.
But, today was different, and very scary for us. All of sudden she jumped up, and wagging her tail and ran into the bedroom where her other bed is. This has been going on all day.
When my husband took her out early this morning, he put her down, and she collapsed. He picked her up and she nipped at him. She adores him and never would have done that. and then she just fell limp in his arms. My husbands was holding her and says her heart stopped beating and then he felt it start again. We are all stessed out and just don't know what to do. Any help or answers for us?
I am so pleased you and your husband have the support for and from each other during this dreadful process. While you may be expressing your grief in different ways and at perhaps different times, it is clear you are both experiencing the same depth of grief. You know what I am going to say ... Boston would not want you to feel this way. Boston would want you to remember the happy days you shared and recognize that all life ends eventually ... and Boston enjoyed so many full and happy years ... the end of his life may not have been how you would have wished it to be, but it was a very small part of his adventurous and love-filled life. And while I utterly understand why you are grieving, I believe you should also rejoice in Boston's life - by comparison with so many other dogs, he was actually a very lucky dog to have shared his life with both of you.
Hello Sue. Despite the circumstances not being nice, I am very pleased you found us - there are lots of great people here who you can use for support, for information or just to listen and be a shoulder to cry on.
I dread to say this, but it seems as if Blue is taking her final journey with you. She is far to young to be suffering from kidney failure, and I really do empathize, it is amongst the most cruel of illnesses. I wanted just to say that when Blue nipped your husband it could have been for one of two reasons ... first, her kidney area and possibly other organs are probably extremely tender, so picking her up may have caused her some discomfort - and her reaction would have been to nip. This of course would not have been intended, but more an intuitive and defensive nip.
The second possible cause, and you are the only people that would know if this is happening, is that she may be so deep into the kidney failure that it has taken over her mind and body - she probably feels dreadfully tired, very unhappy and constantly uncomfortable. As a consequence, she may also be irritable and anxious. Put together, all these feelings may have caused her to nip.
Given what you have said I rather think the former explanation is more likely, but either way, I hope your husband understands it most definitely wasn't personal - and probably more intuitive.
Has your vet told you what stage the kidney failure has reached. I suspect it may be stage four ... which means time is now very limited. Giving SubQs is excellent and will keep her going for a while - I hope you also have her on anti-nausea meds, which will continue encouraging her to eat properly.
The time may not be far off when difficult decisions will have to be considered, but maybe that day is not here yet. The truth is, only you truly know, and no one else - not me, not your vet, nor anyone else - can say otherwise. You know Blue like no one else has or could ever know her - and importantly, she knows you too, so when she is ready to say enough, she will tell you in her own way, and believe it or not but you will understand what she is saying when she says it.
My thoughts are with you at this very difficult and traumatic time. Please come back and let us know how things are - and give yourself a huge pat on the back for helping Blue so much to date. Finally, please give your best friend a huge hug from me. Tony x
Thank you, Tony for all the information. Right after I wrote this to the group, Blue had what i believe to be a final seizure. The doctor told us to come in anytime and we were get ready to do this. She rolled off of her bed, on her side and she was gone. Our hearts are broken completely now. Our pit bull, Duchess, 13 years
old, diabetic, deaf and blind was PTS right before Christmas, last year, so this has been a double wammy for us.
From reading from the beginning of the posts there has been nothing but love, understanding and comfort to folks looking for just that.
Right now, our hearts and minds our full, but I would like to come back and listen and be a shoulder to cry on.
Oh Sue. I am so very sorry. I had an idea from what you had said that Blue's days were short ... but obviously, I had no idea just how short. I can only extend my most sincere condolences for your loss. At least it happened quickly - and at home - and with you right there at her side. Blue is now out of suffering, though I know that may seem like little compensation compared with having her there. Please, please come back and talk anytime you like. A friend will always be here to listen, to support and to talk whenever you need it (time differences between USA and UK sometimes mean it may be some hours before I am able to respond, but I WILL always respond). Please pass on my condolences to your husband too. Much love and huge cyber hugs to you both. Tony x
Hello everyone. About 3 years ago my now 13y3mos old FCR was diagnosed with kidney failure. He was immediately put on Azodyl and responded very well to it until about 3 mos ago. Also when he was diagnosed he was put on KD, again, doing very well until about 3 mos ago. At that time he completely stopped eating the dry KD, so the vet switched him to the canned, which worked for a couple of weeks, then he decided he didn't want it anymore. He is now on the Royal Canin kidney diet. He was put on Epakitin at that time too. In addition he is on 1 Cerenia/day for nausea and also on an anti-diarrhea medication too. At one point in July his eating was minute by minute as many of you describe. In the morning he might eat chicken, but in the evening he wanted steak. Always a guessing game. After about a month of that hit and miss, I decided that I would just spoon feed him his Royal Canin with some rice. So twice a day since August I've been spoon feeding him. For a period of time he was doing really well. We've kept the nausea at bay and the diarrhea for the most part. His extremely bad breath has gotten better. So we've had some small victories along the way. However, about 2-weeks ago for several nights now, after going to bed he wakes up extremely restless, panting and pacing. I've taken him outside and he has pottied eventually, but sometimes he just laid down. Last night was the worst, as he would not potty or poop. He just walked the yard. Finally I took him into another room where we wouldn't bother my husband and he finally settled and went to sleep. Poor old guy just seemed so uncomfortable and I guess he was/is. He still has sparkle in his eyes and some spunk and life in him. As long as he still has fight in him, I'll keep fighting for him, BUT I don't want him to be in pain. It's a fine line, I know. Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't find this community three years ago. I'm enjoying it and have learned so much from reading these comments. Thank You!!!
Hello. That's actually a great message, because it just goes to prove how extraordinary intervention can be, even with kidney disease, which most of us know can be both fast and tragic. You have clearly done an amazing job in looking after your best friend. These may not be good days, but so far you have managed to gain 3 years of additional life for him - and no doubt create some wonderful memories during that time - and give your dog some exciting extra adventures and pleasures that he may otherwise not have had. My heart goes out to you, because I know how stressful and painful it is to care hour by hour for a dog with this illness. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for getting this far - and cyber hugs to your best friend. Hang on in there. Tony x
I don't normally post but wanted to thank you for this page. I came on to find info about end stage kidney failure as my 13 yo beagle, Peanut, is going through this now. Without going into all the details, the vet told us today that her kidneys are failing and since she hasn't really eaten for days and hasn't moved from the bed since I brought her home at noon, we've decided to put her down tomorrow so as not to prolong her suffering. It's such a hard decision but we want to do what's best for her and not for us. We just went through this 6 months ago with our other dog (different health issues) and I believe the turmoil of that decision has helped to make this one a little easier. I really think this is a great page and that you are a kind & caring person to comfort all of these posters in their time of horrible pain and just wanted you to know that. Thank you.
Hello. Your experience is so much like my own of 3 years ago. When my faithful and loyal companion, BB the rescued lurcher, was diagnosed with kidney failure, I found the diagnosis unbelievable. She seemed fit and healthy, but off her food, which is why we had taken her to the vet. Within 3 days of the diagnosis, she deteriorated rapidly to the stage she couldn't even stand up, hadn't eaten anything for 2 days, and was telling me with her eyes the time had come to say goodbye. I was utterly heartbroken - and came here by a fluke, and gained so much comfort talking to others who had been or were in the same situation.
I have never been off this site since - and to be honest, while I do try to support anyone and everyone going through any problems or grief with their best friends, I also get so much more back - in friendship and information about how they might have helped their own dog(s). My time here has been a real learning curve. I hope my words are sometimes helpful. Not everyone replies, which I fully understand, but I am so pleased you did and your comments are so very kind. Thank you.
I am sorry you are going through this. This is a dreadful disease and so many dogs seem to get it, particularly later in their always too short lives. I had a beagle when I was a young man (many years ago) and they are such great characters. They are one of my favorite breeds. I can tell from what you have said that Peanut has had an amazing life with you. Tonight will be so hard, I know, and there will be so many tears tomorrow. You are all in my thoughts right now - and I'm here if you want to come back to chat about your decision or just to talk about Peanut.
Hope you and yrs are ok, i have been up and down and still miss Boston everyday and have been crying alot more again lately. I think Christmas without him is going to be so hard, he always got excited ripping open the presents and i am going to miss him this year, first one away from us. I still feel devastated but realise that some days i can talk fondly about him but then other days i am a wreck. I never thought i would grieve so much over him but it just shows how loved he really was. I am so proud to have had him as my beautful dog, i just wish everyone would treat all their pets with love and kindness because the love they give back is the best of all. Thought i would drop you a line, hope you have a good Xmas and thank you for all your help this year x
Hello again. It's good to hear from you. I know what you mean, Christmas is a sad time, because memories of yesteryear come back and we long for them to still be with us. BB passed away at this time of the year too, so that first Christmas was fairly dreadful. I don't know about what ways you find to cope, but you will no doubt do so ... for me, well, I managed to find a small Christmas Tree photo frame and I put a picture of BB in it, then ceremoniously hung it on the tree along with other favorite decorations. So, in a way, she was still with us at Christmas - and has been every Christmas since. True, I shed a tear every year when I hang the decoration on the tree, but it's also comforting to welcome her back into the festivities.
Boston will be in your thoughts a lot this year - and every year. But as I've said many times, he sure was a lucky dog to have enjoyed such love and companionship.
My Christmas's are usually fairly quiet affairs. I have no close family remaining alive now, so it's just my partner and our dogs - and we always try to get to the beach (tide permitting) on Christmas Day itself or Boxing Day. The dogs get a good run and we get a little exercise (needed after all the excessive food intake of the period).
Hoping you have an enjoyable, peaceful and contented Christmas ... I'll be here as always on Christmas Day (as there's always someone somewhere in need of a chat and a bit of support), so if you're feeling a bit glum, drop in, it will be nice to be in your company again.
Hi tony, thanks for your comments. I ve noticed everytime i m on my own i cry more, i think i notice it more when i'm alone as he was my companion and i feel so lonely without him. I'm still breaking my heart over him and don't know if thats natural since it has been nearly 7 months. I long to have him back. how the hell do i get over this yearning for him? It really is 'killing' me, i miss him so much and cant stand my life without him, i feel so empty. God, i wish he was still with me ... x
Hi. Seven months and still grieving is (honestly) not unusual. Much depends on what is happening in our lives, the support we have from others - and the closeness we feel to the dog. Sometimes the grief can go on for much longer than seven months, but in looking back, I'm sure you will agree it is nothing like the intensity of the first month - which means things are improving, albeit slowly and in small steps.
When we feel empty and alone, it is indeed so much more emotionally charged. During these periods, it's worth having a distraction - take a short walk, visit a friend, do some window shopping in town ... anything that takes your mind off things, just for a while.
I know Boston was your world. But time sadly moves on, even when we might wish it wouldn't. The last thing Boston would want is you feeling sad and in despair. He would want you to enjoy life and everything it has to offer ... and to share the love you have with other lost souls ... have you thought about helping out at your local dog shelter? Maybe that would be one way of distracting your thoughts - without committing to another dog (I know it's maybe too early to think about the latter). There are so many dogs that will be alone and sad this Christmas, so maybe you can help them - and in return, they can support you through your grief.
The yearning for Boston will get less, in time, and as your head becomes accustomed to the fact that some things just cannot be. Boston had a wonderful life, provided in part by you - but his time came and now has gone. It's time to move on, which is exactly what Boston would want you to do.
We NEVER forget our best friends. They are always with us, in our hearts and memories. Boston shared his time with you and loved every minute of it. He was a very lucky dog.
You are, as always, in my thoughts. Stay strong. Things will get better, I promise. Tony x
Hi....I am new to this site, purely as I have researched and researched for help with CKF and trying to find ways to feed my Kiri to the point I feel I'm going insane.
Besides what my beautiful little girl is going through right now I just felt I needed to interject here and let you know you are 100% normal to me. As I see Tony has said we all grieve differently. I lost one of my furry babies to cancer 10 years ago - it took me 6 years to finally come to terms and not cry when a poignant song came on the radio or TV. I still cannot listen to some particular songs and either switch channel or turn off. The tears involuntarily pour down my cheeks. I have loved all my wonderful animals, but this incredible dog I was in love with. I had 3 beautiful babies (4-legged) all together, my Kiri with CKF is the last one - she is now 15 on Saturday and diagnosed with this awful disease. She has overcome liver cancer, cushings, pancreatitis, all of what my 2nd one had, but lived to 16 & 1/2. I am grieving now, as I know this can't be cured.
But...enough of what I'm going through with her. My reason was to tell you, you must be a beautiful sensitive person, and as Tony said - people who love animals the way we do must have the biggest hearts, but that means our big hearts ache. No non-animal person could ever understand such a love as we do with our animal babies.
Time will help (cliche I know), keep lots of photos around you and what helped me was watching videos to see them when they were healthy and happy and made them feel close and tangible.
I am not morbid, but I took solace in cremating them and bringing home their little caskets which I keep next to my bed on a dresser with their photos - it comforts me, not saddens me to know they are close. Honestly though I know their gorgeous spirits/souls are running free - I just hope they aren't too busy enjoying themselves that they forget to meet Kiri when that dreaded day arrives.
Love and hugs to you and to everyone here x
Thanks for you comments, I am so very sorry to hear about your beloved Kiri, how heartbreaking it is to watch our most loved pets have an incurable disease, wanting so much to help them but knowing there is nothing you can do. The one thing that you can give her is your unconditional and devoted love, give her as much as you can while you still have her. I know i absolutley broke my heart and sobbed many times watching my Boston and knowing i was losing him, and coming to terms with it is also heartbreaking.. I have had a rough week this week, still grieving badly for him, knowing that it was 1 year this week when we got the awful news that devastated my life, that Boston was poorly with no chance of survival. I have been crying alot this week, i miss him so very much and don't honestly think i will ever stop pining for him, Yes... that is exactly how i feel, i am pining for him. Anyway, sending my love to you and your beautiful Kiri, happy birthday to her too. Hugs, thinking of you x
Thank you so much....sadly she has deteriorated so very fast. She went back to the vets today for a blood test, my vet was so depressed to give me the results - no improvement after trying so many different meds to bring down the phosphate levels and kidney function has decreased - together with her weight in a week!
Our lovely Kiri started her life suffering at the hand of an awful man, who beat her so badly she was in hospital for a month - he pulverized one of her hips, dislocated the other and had so many haematomas over her ears from the beating - she thank goodness was rescued by the RSPCA and funnily enough it was my vet who put her back together. She has lived 15 years with no right hip and when we eventually were able to adopt her (it took 9 months to get through the court - before she was fully signed over to the RSPCA and we could then adopt her) she walked only on 3 legs. After a few months of living with us she started to use all 4 and is still doing so, albeit rather shakily now. Due to her lack of eating, weakness and knowing from reading here what she has in store if we keep her going - we heartbreakingly today made the decision she started her life suffering, we will not let her end her life suffering. We are going to let her go on her spirit journey where hopefully she will be met by her doggie sister and brother, on Monday. I feel sick to the stomach even writing that :( I have to think right now, we were given 2 more years after her surgery for liver cancer and be thankful. Nothing though truly can make us feel better, can it?
My heart goes out to you, I so understand that pining and the emptiness.
For me, this will be the first time in over 30 years I will be without a little soul in my home - the quiet and emptiness I can't imagine. I am fortunate to have a wonderful husband, but when he's not here - I will be so alone. I am going to have to learn to rebuild a life for myself which I have neglected for so long as I have been their nurse. I have not left them alone and only ever go out if someone can cover for me.
My heart is breaking - I too have cried so very much today.
I send you big hugs x
Hello. Your story about Kiri truly touched my heart. Although this weekend is going to be heartbreaking for you, I know, Kiri has been extraordinarily lucky to have had you share her life. The early life you describe was brutal and it's amazing how she rallied and has survived to such a good old age, all with your love, care and attention. This disease is just about the worst there is, because when it progresses to the final stages, we feel so darned helpless. On Monday, you will be performing the last act of love and kindness, even though it will be dreadful and traumatic.
I know you will be spending all your time with her today and tomorrow, and giving her so many hugs - I also know you will feel like we all feel when it gets to this stage - bereft and traumatized. Tears will flow constantly, your heart will pound from the anxiety and thoughts of how you will survive through Monday will swim around in your head. These are the symptoms of love and loss.
While these are the worst days anyone could imagine ... please remember you gave Kiri so much happiness during her long life, and without you, that may never have happened. She is a lucky dog and, despite the sad time to come, if she could, she would thank you from the bottom of her heart for inviting her to share those wonderful years with you.
My heart goes out to you and tears are in my eyes as I write ... because I know how difficult this is. Please be brave. You have made the right decision. I send you the biggest cyber hug I can muster. Come back here and talk about Kiri and your feelings whenever you need to. You are in good company and with people that understand and empathize.
Hello Tony, what healing words you write not only to me, but through so many posts here, I see your caring for others - I thank you so very much for you taking the time to give me the reassurance I so desperately need.
Traumatized is so correct! All day long I have had mixed thoughts. As she is unlike my other babies not at the end of the road of a long battle and lost, this decision is so much harder - I know I could make her go on, but to what avail? More time for me and her facing awful suffering to come?
We only got the full diagnosis just over a week ago - it's all so fast and such a shock. Knowing what you know will be in store for her from so many you have helped here over the years and of course your own terrible experience, are we being too hasty or is it absolutely correct what you stated and I have too that this will be our final gift of love to her to save her from the suffering to come?
Hi Jilly. Thank you for your kind words. You have made the right decision. The problem with kidney failure is - if you catch it very early, there are things that will slow the progress down and make a dog feel a little more comfortable - but even this only last a short while (sometimes up to a year or two). But eventually, the disease takes over, regardless of what we try to do to help our loved ones.
The biggest problem of all is most owners only find out about the disease when it has reached the final stage,by which time, frankly, it is too late to do very much. And the deterioration is extremely rapid, like you have already mentioned. If kept alive, Kiri would resist all food (making her feel dreadful with no energy at all), she would continue to feel sick and probably vomit continuously, then she would likely suffer from seizures and stroke or heart attack. It is a dreadful end without intervening.
So, while you are the only person that can say whether this truly is the right time, I would say it probably is. You may keep her alive for another week or more, but that would only cause her to endure more suffering. Euthanizing is the kindest option, I think, as hard as that is to say and do. I suspect she is sleeping a lot right now, and eating very little if anything - better to let her sleep one final time.
My heart breaks reading your posts, because I do know how difficult it is. My thoughts are with you today.
Thank you so much for what must have been hard words to write.
I have woken this morning, feeling calmer - not sure that will last the day, but for now it's helped and I came here to see if you replied to me - thank you again for doing so. Your words have helped me even more- at this moment I feel stronger and know it's right for her.
She went in the garden to be the clean girl she always has been, staggering only a little bit, but enough for me to know she must feel unwell and weak. She didn't even have her usual drink when she came back in.
I am gradually cutting out so much of the huge amount of medication she's been on for so long, besides the new additions for this disease - especially the liquid antacid, which she hates so much being syringed in her mouth. No more forcing. I still will give her increased anti nausea (cerenia) and some omeprazole to help the acid - she up to now has been so good and taken these with philidelphia cream cheese!
Thank you again Tony for your help in reassuring me. Bless you.
I just had to write to let you know, I've been where you are! 6 months ago (has it really been 6 months) I lost my beloved Dottie to this horrible disease! I just want to say you're doing everything right! Lots of love is about all we can do for them at this point. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, even if we've never met!
Hello again Jilly. Yes, the ant-nausea meds will help her feel more comfortable, even if they don't encourage her to eat properly anymore, so keep giving. Talking about food, at this stage, I would give her whatever she wants, even if you know it may not be very good for her. If she likes the phili, then let her have as much as she can tolerate (in small amounts).
You, your husband and Kiri will occupy my thoughts tonight. I truly feel for you. Stay strong. Tony x
Yesterday - she had a really good day. She shocked us when we took her out for a walk, we both couldn't believe she ran and ran and ran and it seemed she didn't want to stop - I thought she would have a heart attack and go on the spot. No. We got home, I thought she'd collapse on the couch....no! In and out of the garden and then looking for food. We were so confused - I emailed our vet, and said I'd like him to see her this morning, perhaps give her another blood test and then the 3 of us would decide together. Her levels of Urea and Creatinine have got worse, but we all agreed while she seems happy we are loathed to go ahead today. We shall take each day as it comes.....perhaps when she no longer wants to run, then we'll know.
Just wanted to let you know and keep you updated. This is so hard for us after the weekend we've just had of pain in our hearts to be uplifted, but knowing we will have to go through the pain again. BUT...never mind us, as long as Kiri seems she wants to stay, we shall do whatever we can for her.
Hi Jilly. This is proof that dogs are amazing. They know when the time is right - and Kiri has told you today wasn't the day, you heard it and acted accordingly. I am so pleased. I know this disease is so very up and down, and eventually the downs become more often and more difficult - but every good day is one to cherish. Fingers crossed that today is repeated tomorrow. Have a nice evening.
Not run quite as much today - but has eaten far more than the last few days put together. Despite me cooking her what I thought she'd really love, even my husband liked it....she turned her nose up and wanted the "Cesar" food again, although tonight she had some steak which we were having!
In fact on Saturday when speaking to the nurse at the vet hospital for advice, I told her she wants exactly what we are eating....so the nurse said "Well then you eat the Renal prescription diet!" she gave me the first laugh I had on the weekend.
She's done well again today :). Hopefully now for tomorrow. Day by day!!
It's just wonderful to hear her snoring on the couch :)
Hi Jilly. Day by day is the right way to look at things ... and it's so good to know you are gaining some happy times with Kiri. My older best friend, Giro, now 10yrs, snores louder than any dog I've ever known. He makes me giggle sometimes and you're right, it's reassuring and satisfying hearing the sound of such contentment. Have a lovely evening.
Glad to hear your Kiri's eating a little better, my Boston did that, seemed to be better all of a sudden, but then deteriorated again after a week. I hope this isn't so with your baby. I have thought about you and how you must be feeling, the emotions are so up and down. Cherish everyday you have with her, its just so sad our most loving fur babies don't live as long as us. I hate my life without Boston, and was very distraught, but sharing my feelings with Tony (on this site) helped me so much, he was my saviour and i will never forget the help and comments he gave me. My thoughts are with you. good luck to you and most of all Kiri x
Sorry I have not been on for a while....I tried so hard not to think about the inevitable and managed for a week to not think "when" or read about what was to come.
With a broken heart, I write to tell you we helped our beautiful little Kiri to leave her sick body at 6.30 this evening. She is lying in her bed on her favourite place on the couch at peace, until we take her in the morning to be cremated. I will stay with her downstairs all night long - I do not want her to be alone :(
It became harder and harder to get food down her and she seemed weaker last night. The smells from her body only indicated the acidity and toxins that must be causing her so much discomfort. I explained in an earlier post how she suffered in her first few weeks of life and we would not let her suffer at the end. I feel sick myself right now and if this is how she has felt since going off her food...I am relieved we let it go on no further.
I implore anyone with a loved 4 legged furry baby with this awful disease.....do not let them suffer until the end....please.
Thank you all for your support and help with reading so many posts, so I knew what was to come.
I no doubt will be flitting in and out of here and the grief sets in harder.
For now love and thanks,
How sad i am to hear of your loss, i know how very hard it is. You did exactly what we did for our beautiful Boston, i had to let him go, my heart was breaking as i wanted to keep him, but he was in agony. How can we let them suffer like that? its not easy and it still hurts me badly 10 months on. You have gave Kiri all the love and help you could, she was so lucky to have had that love from you. My heart goes out to you Jilly, i am crying writing this. The grief is going to be tough, i still grieve badly for my 'baby', and its because of all the love they gave us and the bond we have with them is why we grieve so hard. Thinking of you at this very awful sad time. Kiri is out of suffering now, i know this is not the result you wanted but its the kindest. Please keep me posted how you feel, Tony helped me alot, and this forum has helped my grief, realising i am not the only one to love our dogs with absolutely every inch of our hearts .Hugs xxx
Hello Jilly. Words are hard to come by. I am so very sorry for your loss. Kiri was a real fighter and stayed for as long as she could. You were very brave to help her out of suffering - and it was the right decision at the right time. Kiri had so many years of contentment, happiness and love ... and those are the times to remember. She was a lucky dog, having shared her life with you - and she will never be forgotten.
No more pain now. Run free Kiri.
Huge cyber hugs to you Jilly. You are in my thoughts.
Hi Tony, I have an 18 yr old dashaund. Daisy has just returned home from vet today after I noticed she was stumbling and not eating. I feel horrible bc she lost weight and I figured it was due to her age. Her bun had went from 156 to 74 and creatine 5 to 3. Her phosphorus levels came back down to the normal range. This is bc she has been at vet for 3 days hooked to fluids. He put her on special canned food diet twice a day and sent her home with antibiotics. She has still been staggering today and sleeping. She ate small amount of canned food tonight also. We go back next Friday to recheck her kidney values. That is unless she gets worse. I am so scared she isn't drinking enough or I am gonna miss something. I cry thinking about what is to come.
Hello. First, I am very sorry you have received this diagnosis. Kidney disease is harrowing, and that must be more so with a dog of such an incredible age. I would ask you to have a read of my article about it - and about diet - which I think may help you. You can access it here: http://www.infobarrel.com/How_Diet_Affects_Dogs_with_Chronic_Kidney_Disease
Second, please post any additional comments, questions or concerns on the Chronic Kidney Failure in Dogs USER GROUP, as this is where you will get the most answers and from people that have gone through this or are going through this right now with their own dogs. I administrate this Group and I would welcome you as a member. Please join. You can find User Groups under the Forum button at the top of the page. Once in, please use the search bar to find CHRONIC KIDNEY DISEASE IN DOGS User Group.
I adopted My little toy Pomeranian, TeddyBear about 4 or 5 years ago and at the time I adopted him I was told he had an enlarged heart and poor kidney function. He never ever acted lethargic or had any symptoms Except maybe that he always did need to drink more water than my other dogs. Other than the water though he really didn't have any other symptoms for the entire time 4 or 5 years I've had him until RECENTLY. A few weeks ago he started to get picky about what flavour of the raw diet we feed him he would eat. Over the past few weeks he has gotten so picky that he would only eat the raw beef but NOW suddenly he won't even eat THAT and 2 days ago he had 7 big seizures that lasted 2 minutes! He will eat people food NO PROBLEM, BY THE WAY. He hasn't had any more seizures in 3 days now and although he won't eat dog food he is VERY interested in our people food still so I seriously am confused because other than the sudden seizures that came and went and other than the super finicky appetite, there are no other new symptoms to indicate end stage CRF. Is it possible that he is in end stage without any pain or vomiting or diarrhea or constipation etc??? He is very lethargic but if I force KD into him by diluting it with water and using a syringe or if I let him eat people food, then he has energy again and acts normal and even barks and walks around. I don't know what is going on or what to do. We went out and bought every brand of raw dog food we could find and we bought 7 different brands and flavours of wet dog food including the KD AND MEDICAL. And he won't eat any of them HOWEVER he is extremely interested in our people food! He will eat lots of people food if we let him.
Any comments or ideas or advice?
Hi. I have a feeling there's more going on here than just kidney failure. I'm tempted to suggest an allergic food reaction (which could easily cause the seizures). The problem is, kidney disease can also cause seizures, so nothing is certain. What you really need right now is to determine what state the kidneys are in, and for that your little dog will need to see the vet for a full blood panel test. The results will tell you the stage things are at and what can be done to help. Please have this done, then come back and tell me what the results are (make sure you get a copy of them).
People food is not always a good thing - but only because it depends what you are feeding him. Some things are fine (and even better for kidney failure than ordinary dog food), while other things are extremely toxic to dogs. I have an article that will be helpful to you:
which will give you more insight into dog food allergies and it will be worth double-checking the info here to ensure nothing obvious is causing a problem. The final article I have for you is on Chronic Kidney Failure and Diet:
which should give you a whole lot of info about what may be happening and how you can help improve things, albeit for the immediate future.
Finally, please join our special group at Chronic Kidney Failure in Dogs. Go to the Forums tab at the top of the page, mouse over it and click User Groups in the drop-down menu. Next use the search bar to find CHRONIC KIDNEY FAILURE IN DOGS - then join the User Group and post messages or questions there for a much better and more informed response from other members.
I think if you re-read the post you'll find the owner says they adopted "TeddyBear about 4 or 5 years ago and at the time I adopted him I was told he had an enlarged heart and poor kidney function." This infers the kidney problem has been ongoing for some considerable time, and it has now progressed. I do not therefore believe it is the KD food, although other parts of the diet may well be causing allergic reactions.. Tony
Yes... I had my Italian Greyhound on Azodyl, but she didn't stomach it very well... She would throw up. She is bad right now and I have decided to put her down on Monday if she doesn't go before then.. I have tried to feed her everything, but she doesn't want anything to do with food. She is 9 years old and the renal failure was diagnosed back in June. It is so heart wrenching to have to do this, but I can't stand to see her suffer. She is being kept as comfortable as possible, under blankets. When she started shaking a little, I put a thundershirt on her and a hoodie. It really seemed to help a lot, but she is going to be crossing the Rainbow Bridge sometime soon.
Hi. I may have found your post a little too late to help ... if so, please forgive my intrusion. If your dog is still with us, please join the Chronic Kidney Failure in Dogs User Group. I am fairly certain this Group (I am the administrator of it) will offer you some invaluable information, support and advice. Please join the Group then post a brief message about your dog, the most recent blood level readings and additional details about how she is right now and what you have attempted to feed her.
Yes! I made the mistake of giving my dogs high protein treats (both with chronic renal failure - one at the moderate stage and the other at the advanced stage) just to get them to eat something as they would not eat the renal prescription kibble (or the canned for that matter). I now know that low (really low) protein and NO phosphorous is best. It seems that the more important thing to avoid is phosphorus, which was not apparent to me in any of the list of ingredients for anything I have ever fed my dogs...grrrr. The good news is that there is a powder called Epakitin that you can sprinkle on their food (tiny spoonful on every meal) and evidently it will bind the phosphorous so that it will not be absorbed into their blood stream and thus interfere with kidney function. My vet has stressed that this is very important. With my recent frustrations with the kibble, and for my dogs who are almost 18 years and 16 years, I now make my own homemade dog food. I have never felt confident enough to do this in the past as I know it can be very serious if you 'guesstimate' what they really need for nutrition, but I was desperate. At any rate, it contains boiled potatoes (skinless), boiled carrot, no salt/sodium beef or chicken broth, a bite of apple for flavor and I add a very, very small amount of cooked ground beef (including the fat drippings) all of which I blend so that it is palatable and good and 'soupy'. It is my understanding that liquids are very important and the 'wetter' the food the better, as they need as much water as you can get in them to help the remaining functioning parts of the kidney do it's job.
I sure hope this helps. I am sick to my stomach about this chronic illness but if I can help you in anyway, I am happy to do so. Wishing you all the best.
Hi. "I now know that low (really low) protein and NO phosphorous is best." Actually, this is not strictly true or accurate. Most specialised manufactured kd food is indeed low in protein, simply because it was proved through research that the protein was causing a problem. But the tests were being made on existing manufactured dog foods, which contained very poor quality protein. The by-products of these ingredients were an issue - and still are.
More recent research has found that human-grade proteins (meats you would eat yourself) are produced, manufactured and packaged to a much higher quality and don't contain the dangerous animal by-products or preservatives contained in manufactured dog foods.
Recent research has also found that proteins are essential to a dog's health and well-being, and high-quality proteins in moderation do kidney failure dogs a lot of good.
Phosphorus and sodium are the bigger problems and restricting these remain essential.
You might consider joining our specialised "chronic kidney failure in dogs" User Group here on MedHelp. I administrate this group, whose members are owners just like yourself with dogs that have or have had kidney failure.
My Mellie is dying - 7.1 Creatinine - I read about Spooches dog and looked at the birth date! 16 years old! Mellie is 10 - had liver failure at 7. An eye doctor put her on MASSIVE doses of prednisone against my protests and she has declined steadily. Hospitalized twice - using Azodyl, Aluminum Hydroxide, forti-flaura to offset the effects of long-term antibiotics - the AUTOIMMUNE response turned out to be STAPH and Mellie was on Clavamox in case the diluted urine didn't show infection - four weeks! She is finished with that - getting her to eat chicken/burger/steak - you're right - they do need protein. My baby has gained weight in kidney failure. I make waffles with egg whites, cake, French toast - anything to keep her tummy full - Back legs seem to be weakening - muscle atrophy - a week-long hospitalization took her Creatinine from 6.6 to 5.4 - small dips into 4.7 a couple times. Being caged, bruises from being pulled up with strap to walk (between first and second hospitalizations, she went blind - SARDS) really stiffened her legs.
What to do now - I can't give anything with calcium - hers is 14.4 - going up....
rice seems to make diarrhea worse
I'm so grateful I stumbled across this site - your words of advice and compassion are wonderful. My Yorkie Nellie, almost 13, is in kidney failure and it's breaking my heart. I have no family and she's everything to me. She still enjoys her walks and cuddling with me, but over the last few days, she's pretty much stopped eating. She's on Azodyl and an appetite stimulant, but I can't find any food to entice her to eat. The vet said let her eat whatever she wants, but she doesn't seem to want anything. I've tried all different kinds of dog food, plus tried cooking for her, but no luck. She used to love chicken and carrots and apples, but not anymore. I'd love any suggestions. Thank you
Hi Carol, I just happened to see you added to an older posting
and if you want to get ahold of Tony,rather than hope he may
see this...if you go back to the start where you posted,on the
right you will see RELATED FORUMS,then see GROUPS, if
you click on the "Groups" it will pop up a forum to kidney
issues and this is where you will find Tony because he runs
I am sure someone there and Tony can offer you some great
information for you little girl..
I am SO VERY SORRY to see Nellie is having kidney problems
I too am owned by several Yorkies so hearing about Nellie really
touches my heart even more than other breeds..
Go talk with Tony...he is awsome and gives so much to helping
the fur kids with kidney problems..
I too have a little girl , a 7 year old poodle who was diagnosed at six with stage 3 kidney disease. She is my baby and only family along with my 15 year old male poodle. She is very sick with the disease and I have to give her subque fluids every day, 200 mls. I have to pay a vet tech to come every day to do it because otherwise I have to pay almost $45 a day to my vets office to do it which is cost prohibitive. She hardly eats and since first diagnosed has lost 10 pounds. Its a fight to get her to eat. She has to have so many meds that its no wonder she feels badly. She take 2 blood pressure pills, gall bladder med for no gallbladder, reglan, aluminum hydroxide and now fluids every day. She sometime has chronic diarrhea because she also has irritable bowel from when she was 2. I found she will sometimes eat a dog biscuit (Iams lamb and rice biscuits) if she wont eat her food and my vet said to give her animal crackers or pound cake if she wont eat. The past 2 days I gave her chopped meat with some IAMS dry renal diet. She wont eat the canned renal diets. I used to give her pasta with a protein but suddenly she stopped eating that but after some intervention she will eat a little. She suddenly ate some tomato sauce on her food so I went with that. I also buy flounder or salmon to tempt her. Her real go to is Lamb. Its so heartbreaking when she wont eat that I feel guilty if I eat anything I don't know what could have made her kidneys go bad at a young age. My heart is broken and I worry that I will be afraid to love again in fear this will happen again. My 15 year old boy was a long haul to get him to this point and I know he is on borrowed time just like my baby girl and I hope I will survive their loss.
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