Gay dogs driving me crazy

My neighbor has two male dogs that constantly hump and lick each other and the owner does not correct them at all. My dog who is still in puppy mode loves to play with these dogs and now has this learned behavior and runs over to lick the other dogs private as soon as he seems them. In the past I had male dogs who would snap at other male dogs who tried to go anywhere near their privates. We now don't let our dog play with the other two dogs and try to correct this behavior because it is driving me crazy and makes me sick for some strange reason. Has anyone else dealt with type of behavior with their dog and what can I do to change this behavior so he doesn't get lick happy with other male dogs?

[Ghilly]

This is NOT sexual behavior you are seeing with these dogs.  What you are seeing here are the dynamics of dominance.  Humping and licking are signs of dominance and submissiveness, respectively.  These behaviors go on between dogs even when they are neutered or spayed because, as I said, they are not sexual.  Your dog, as a puppy, will automatically be submissive to the two grown dogs and his first thought would be "I've got to show these two that they are my superiors otherwise I'll be put in my place by them", which is why he participates in the behaviors.  He hasn't "learned" the behaviors from those dogs, these behaviors are deeply ingrained in his instinct behavior patterns.  He automatically knew to use them when faced with two adult dogs.  Think of it as a little kid who is hanging out with two junior high kids.  He's going to defer to them and will do whatever he has to in order to be accepted by them.  This is what your puppy is doing.  He wants to be friends, he's telling the two other dogs that he's a follower.  As he grows and becomes an adult dog, if he has the more dominant personality, you will see the other dogs defer to HIM and show him submissiveness.  If he retains a more submissive personality you'll see him continue to act the way he does.  The thing is, he won't just do it with these two dogs, he'll be this way with every dog he meets because that's how dogs communicate with each other.  In short (too late, I know lol) there is no way you're going to change the behavior without changing both his personality and the fact that he's a dog since all he's really guilty of is "speaking" in dog when he exhibits these behaviors.  :)

Ghilly

[I_Have_Fallen]

Not an expert of any kind-only an observer and learner from many dogs over my 55 years.  My two cents:  Ghilly is dead on in her post above.  Totally agree.

[Njsweetnlight]

Yes I feel like you are probably right on point as well and that it might just be submissive behavior. However, this behavior is showing my dog in being a follower and that is part of his behavior. Will my dog grow out of being a follower and be a leader pack dog or will he always stay in the weak submissive role? He is a great family dog without any aggressive behavior but tends to be shaky at times and unsure of himself and don't know to blam for this weak behavior. My husband and I have both had Pitbulls in the past who never showed weak or follower behavior and were dogs who were more aggressive and demanding in nature but loyal and obedient in nature to their owners. We are now debating in keeping him and going back to adopting a pit puppy and raising him to be a great family dog that won't try to please other dogs by being submissive everytime he sees another dog.

[Ghilly]

There are many factors that come into play when it comes to shaping a dog's personality.  It's the age-old nature vs. nurture thing.  A certain amount of it is going to depend on his genetic programming.  If he's submissive now, chances are he won't do a complete about-face and become dominant when he's an adult.  There ARE things that you can do, however, to help to boost his self-confidence and help him become LESS submissive and more self-assured.  The best way to do this is to enroll him in agility training.  Agility will teach him how to navigate obstacles and make decisions and both of these together will help his self-confidence TREMENDOUSLY.  He will learn how to do weave poles, the teeter totter, the dog walk (walking over a long board that's about 2 feet off the ground), he'll learn how to jump through the tire, run through a collapsed tunnel, and all of these together will help give him a stronger, more confident personality.  As his confidence grows, so will his outgoingness (not sure that's even a word! LOL) and his personality.  

Ghilly

[tonyb286]

"We are now debating in keeping him and going back to adopting a pit puppy and raising him to be a great family dog that won't try to please other dogs by being submissive everytime he sees another dog."

Really? I'm sorry if this offends, but it seems to me that you want your somewhat false ideal of a dog - rather than a dog that is just being a dog, full of its own canine instincts, character and individuality. Tony

[TwoBitsMom]

So, please clarify....are you saying you want your dog to be more aggressive, so he will be dominant with the neighbors dogs?  If so, why is that important...?  Are you not happy with him because he is not aggressive.  Or ...are you just worried, that because he is not aggressive, that he will also not be protective of you and your family..?  A dog does not have to be aggressive or dominant in order to be protective.
I must say, that given the fact that he is still a puppy, and you are allowing him to play with the next door pack....( which is very nice of you, ) then, WHEN he is with that pack... it will be easy for the next door dogs, to teach your puppy that, WHEN he is THERE with them, he is not the leader of THEIR pack.....However, as your dog grows older, he may at sometime try to show his dominance with the other dogs, but if he is happy with his status when he is with that pack, then he may not.
I understand that whether or not you want an aggressive dog, is entirely your choice. But aggressive or not, you must be the leader, and if you choose to allow your dog to play with the next door pack, then it will ultimately be up to the 3 of them, to decide who the leader will be when they are together. Allowing your dog to play with the others, will teach him to be more social with other dogs.
Keep in mind,He is a puppy, he is still learning, and, he is after all, on their territory.  As he grows older, he may become quite territorial with his OWN yard and be OK with other dogs on any property but his own.
On a final note...if you do not love your dog the way he is, you are not doing him any favors by keeping him. It will be easiest on him, and easier for you to find a new home for him while he is still a pup.
Connie

[Ghilly]

Well said, Tony.  I completely agree with you.  If it offends the OP I apologize, but the reason there are so many dogs in shelters today is because people didn't want to take the time to train them and make them into dogs who became true members of the family, they wanted them to be that way automatically.  And just because a dog is a pit bull doesn't guarantee that they will naturally be a good pet either.  Many pit bulls, while totally sweet with people, have aggression issues toward other animals and I would rather have a dog with a submissive personality than one that I had to worry about jumping another dog to dominate or fight them because their instinct told them to do THAT.  

Ghilly

[marksme]

I'm not sure what this post is really about? Did not really like thread in the first place. Who wants dog fights anyway? The better natured a dog is, the better for all concerned.

[TwoBitsMom]

I agree with you Mark...well natured dogs seem to be much happier and content.  In fact, most dogs do not want to be the dominant pack leader, and only decide they need to, because their owner is not being the leader. In their mind, someone must lead the pack.
Heaven help us all, if an aggressive dog has a weak owner. And Heaven help the weak owner, that has an aggressive dog, neither will ever feel safe.

[lindapalm]

Your dog will live a lot longer with less injuries, and save you $ on doctor bills and lawsuits, if he stays the way he is.  Make sure, if you do give him up, that you tell the shelter/ new owner the reason you are doing so,  he'll have a better chance of being adopted. That personality trait would be the first thing I would look for in a dog.  It allows you to have other animals in your house and not have to worry.

[tonyb286]

That is so true. After I lost my lurcher BB in November, I am left with Giro, who was always the submissive dog and quite happy to be that way. BB was by no means aggressive, but she was dominant between the two of them. I will be rescuing another dog once my grieving process is over, and with Giro I have no worries whatsoever that whatever dog joins our family, they will be accepted with relative ease. Tony

[TwoBitsMom]

I am in total agreement...the less aggressive the better...!
I wonder if people are uncomfortable with their dog being termed as "submissive" because when it comes to their dog, they associate the word with weakness, and cowardice.
It is not weakness or cowardice.......it is respect.  
Who wouldn't love a dog that is respectful....?  
Lindapalm is right....if you do give your dog up...be sure to tell them why... Most people want a loving, happy, and respectful dog.

[Ghilly]

I just cannot understand the whole stigma associated with dogs behaving like dogs!  Dogs sniff.  Dogs lick.  It's what they do.  And to be "grossed out" by it, well, in my opinion, someone who is put off by a dog acting like a dog would be better off not having a dog as a pet because as soon as it does something "doggy", its behavior will be called into question and the dog reprimanded.  
Nothing is more confusing for an animal than for it to be trained to be something it's not.  There is a huge problem today with toy dogs who are aggressive because their owners don't treat them like dogs, they treat them as children.  A dog doesn't know HOW to be a child, no matter how small that dog is.  Empty nesters are famous for getting toy dogs when their last kid leaves home and using that dog to replace their kids.  The dogs sit at the table with them, eat dinner at the same time they do, get carried around from place to place, this is not natural behavior for a dog.  No matter how large or how tiny a dog is it is still a dog and still descended from wolves.  Wolf pack dynamics come into play no matter what breed you are dealing with and when you try to turn a dog into anything but a dog, or try to totally change the personality of a dog, you get problems.

Ghilly    

Ghilly

[Trainerguy]

What you stated maybe factual, but from what I have witness seems to be homosexuality. For reasons that the two dogs I know are never exposed to the opposite sex. And when a new dog comes around the eldest of the two will sniff and and try to lick it happens to be male. Now there is a third dog added to the pack and he is starting to behave like the other two but this dog is a softy the other two are constantly going at it conflict wise. The eldest is always starting fights and losing he gets pinned down alot by the second eldest. But there is no form of submission these dogs just lick and try to jump each other. I even caught them humping a beach chair, so I think more of very high sexual hormone tension
all in all I'm disgusted.

[grendslori]

This all makes perfect sense to me...The oldest dog always starts the fights because he is actually EQUAL to the younger dog. A Beta male, which is the top dog, does not ever need to fight; everyone recognizes that he is the top dog. When you get two males who see themselves as equals, they will fight for the top placement. There is no submission from either of these dogs because they both have a Beta personality. They are still trying to find out who is on top and in this case the younger of the two will eventually take over that spot. The oldest dog will then try to place himself over the third dog. This is how it works in a pack. Puppies are born with a personality of either being more submissive or being more dominant and anyone who breeds dogs will see those personalities coming out in their litters. You will have the puppy who easily gives up on something and you have the puppy whpo is more defiant; the puppy who is barking in your face, the puppy who will NOT let you hold him, turn him over in your arms and give him a tummy scratch. Ghilly is absolutely right, this is NORMAL behaviour in the canine, whatever the breed. We as humans try and put our moral ideas on how the dog should act and react; that is not pour place or for us to do. I say....throw away all those cutsie dog clothes and hair ribbons....they are dogs; we should love them for the joys they bring into our lives and for the love they share with us!

[ginger899]

If a neutered dog is "humping" another male dog, then it is highly unlikely to be sexual behaviour, but "dominating" behaviour instead. They are just asserting the pack order in their own social way.
If inappropriate "humping" behaviour is happening with an entire dog, then that may be different sometimes.And it may be sexual in nature. If it is causing upset to the dog because of raging hormones which have no natural outlet -(never mind our ideas about how they should behave sexually!) -then neutering is a good idea.

My dog used to masturbate! Did I find this disturbing, disgusting, or anything else? No of course I didn't. I used to just go out of the room and let her get on with it. And laugh a little bit. She was one of the truest, nicest, best-behaved strong dogs I have ever known, who was sociable and sweet with other dogs, but who was no pushover either. It was an absolute honour to know her.

[Seuss24]

I have 3 male pits and 2 of them mount each other consistently. The one is neutered the other not (at least not yet!). They are all very loving dogs and very playful. I have only had to break up one spat between them while this activity is going on. All of my dogs, despite the humping, are very protective of me and our home (note: OUR-your puppy should be in a forever home, not a maybe we'll try and see if I like your behavior home!). Dogs will be dogs. If you don't like the behavior being exhibited maybe you should enroll your puppy in a training class. All 3 of my dogs are rescues, it would be horrible if you CHOSE to get rid of your horny playful puppy just to get another one; which could potentially do the same thing....

[pitluver78]

Adopting a pitbull for aggressive reasons? U are the type of people who give them a bad reputation! I rescued my pit and he is the sweetest boy I could've ever wanted! Good with my 1 yr old and 13yr old kids....barks when needed, has never bit anyone or dog! He was beaten before I got him ....guess he wasn't the "type" of pit ppl wanted. Adopting a pit for your reasons is horrible!

[pitluver78]

Well put Seuss!!!