Husband is complete denial over his dying dog

[Bridgway]

I have been with my husband for 4 years now and married into a life with his aging Corgi. She is 13 years old now. He has always been a very very bad pet owner. She is filthy...bad mannered ie: trying to bite people...even him. She was purchased from a breeder that obviously inbred like crazy. This dog never had any discipline..he worked all day and let her urinate and poop everywhere for years. Now she is old and I am here. She now has a pancreatic disease and her back end is humped up terribly. She also has a HUGE tumor that hangs off of her shoulder and it has a huge head on it. She bites and pulls hair off of her butt and paws. Now she barely can get up and cannot handle her bowels or urine...I walk after her constantly with a mop. Poop marks everywhere on the ruined wooden floor. If company comes over...they just roll their eyes. The thing will NOT stop whining. I am done and if he doesn't do something about this, I am going to lose my mind. He won't listen to me.

[JanisM13]

I don't know if this dog is still alive with all she is going through(?) but as many have said she sounds like she is in terrible pain and if your husband
can not understand or see this perhaps it is time for YOU to take matters in
your own hands?
You said she bites so I understand this would not be an easy time for you
but if she has a "nose" muzzle then you can slip a noose around her nose
to allow you to get close to her wrap a large towel around her after you put the noose on her nose( to prevent her from biting you)pick her up and take her to your vet and euthanize her yourself. Sometimes we need to be responsible and help others when they can't help themselves(?) the way
it sounds from your posts BOTH your hubby and this little dog need some
intervention if he can not do this then it may well be up to you?
IT IS NEVER EASY to let go and say goodbye to a loved one peace of mind for you and what you're going through caring for this little dog your constant upset and anger with a problem that seems unsolvable IS fixable  and your husband who is unable to help himself maybe it is time for you to
give that help they both need so much?
I AM SO VERY SORRY you have been going through these problems for
the pain it has caused in your marriage and the obvious stress to you but you do have an option if you choose to act and take the responsibility on yourself.

[lindapalm]

What would your husband do if you took the dog  to the vet one day when he wasn't home?  If nothing else, just to find out all the things that could be causing the dog pain.  In my opinion,  NONE  of the dogs behavior is his fault, from the peeing and pooping on the floor, to the biting. Your husband has actually trained him to do those things, in a way, over the years by allowing it.  The dog doesn't know any better, but your husband should.  To leave a dog in such pain is horrible, especially with a tumor that large.  If your husband doesn't want to spend the money for a diagnosis or euthanasia, he should surrender the dog to the Humane Society, I'm sure if they took one look at that dog they would gladly take him.  I wish you luck, I know I couldn't live under that type of stress and I wouldn't have a nice word to say to my husband until something was done.

[Bridgway]

Thanks ginger899, it means a lot that I can talk about this to some that care. Didn't mean to blow my top up there, but this is a serious situation and it hurts to see people treat me like that.

[ginger899]

I personally never thought for one minute that this was made up Bridgway. I am just so sorry about the situation. If she were a gentler temperament it would be easier to find some compassion for her I guess.
Your husband does need to see that she is miserable and needs some professional attention of one kind or another.
I can't see her myself, so obviously shouldn't say. But from what you describe she sounds as if she is in pain.

[Bridgway]

This is NOT made up! I think I have better things to do than to post in a pet blog. If I wanted attention I would go to something much more interesting! How dare you talk to me that way. Why is it that all blogs have that one or two or three people who like to cause drama? YOU are one of them. Go away. Please. This situation has caused me alot of grief and is ruining my MARRIAGE.

[wanda830]

This story sounds made up...your looking for a reaction your truly a sick person yourself.Lets put you to sleep!!!!

[Bridgway]

I will never stroke that thing's head..she would only bite me. My father is a vet and said to put her down. But he lives half way across the country and cannot do this for us. I can honestly say that I hate this dog more than I have ever hated anything in my life.

[ginger899]

I can understand how all this has driven you to be really angry. It is a bad situation for all concerned.
I know you hate what is happening, the situation you are forced into every day, and you dislike the dog, because she is grumpy, ill-mannered and incontinent (basically because he can't be bothered to take her out at regular times to do her business)
But please try to show her a tiny bit of kindness and compassion, if you can find just a little bit for her. These might be her last days, and I know in the future you will look back and wish you had gently stroked her head or said a kind word to her -just once or twice.

If he won't do it, then you are going to have to. She is suffering obviously and needs to see a vet. She may need to be put to sleep. I don't know. You are going to have to take it out of his hands. Whatever the vet decides, get them to write it down for you and print it out so you can show your husband  what they say, and he can't be irrational with you.

I know it's not an easy thing to ask, but stroke her head and tell her you will help her.

[Bridgway]

I agree!

[lindapalm]

You call your husband a good guy, I call him cheap and uncaring.  To let a poor animal go so long in pain is very wrong, he never should have a pet with his attitude.  A vet checkup isn't that expensive, and this way he would find out how much that dog is suffering.     That's big time abuse in my book, he can't possibly have any feelings for this animal or he would do something.  Sorry for being so frank, but its so unfair to the dog, and you.

[Margot49]

That would not stop me.  I'd read it out loud!!

[Bridgway]

I want to make him read it.. but he would only get madder and madder at me. I spend every night after he goes to bed in tears. He is a really good guy. Smart as hell....but not very smart when it comes to this dog and his marriage.

[Margot49]

I understand how angry you must be.  I would be too!  Feel sorry for this poor dog and please don't take it out on her.  Why not at least try covering the floor with layers of paper.  
This is absolutely not fair of him to shirk HIS responsibilities as this dog's owner in regards to her care and health.  
I know anyone reading these Forums are feeling really sorry for this poor dog.  Ask him if he would want to spend his last days like this.  Just because that dog can't talk dies not mean it is not suffering.
Hope your marriage makes it through this.  Up to him.
Why not read him what has been posted here by long time and experienced "dog" people who have walked in his shoes many times.

[Bridgway]

Surgery is not an option. We cannot afford such a thing and at her age..it is silly. My marriage is failing because of this and I resent him for it. The place I do laundry is on the back closed in porch. It has a cement floor. He gets up around 5 in the morning and lets it in the house. He does NOT take her out to do her business. When he is showered and ready to leave, he puts her back out there and shuts the door. When I get up later...there is urine and sometimes poop everywhere. I have to clean all of that up before I can even get the laundry done and if he asks "Why don't I have washed clothes?
My reply is "I refuse to wade in **** and dodge dog poop" Never the less....I clean it up because I HAVE to wash clothes. He still will NOT take it out. I say "it" because I hate her. My marriage is on the rocks and it isn't her fault...it is HIS for being an idiot.

[ginger899]

I understand you must feel at the end of your tether.
But all the things you describe are showing me that she is seriously suffering. The reason she is whining is because she is in pain and is asking for help.
Tearing fur out of her backside and her paws is because this is driving her to self-mutilate.
Poor thing. I am very sorry.
I can understand your husband not wanting to face that she is so sick, because he is afraid of losing her, I guess.
But at the very least this poor dog needs to see a vet. Whether she needs to be put to sleep or not -I can't say. But at least she needs pain medication, probably surgery, and some professional help.

[Margot49]

I hope he realizes this poor dog is suffering and has no quality of life.  

[Bridgway]

Thanks. I hope he opens his eyes soon. Our marriage is suffering because of his denial. :(

[Margot49]

What a very sad situation.  Maybe he needs to get on this site and read some of the  stories.
Obviously too late to even try to correct some of these issues and it is nit fair for your husband to expect you to care for and clean up after this very sick dog.
From what you are describing, this poor thing has no quality of life and is obviously in pain.  If your husband loves  this dog, he must realize this and that, unfortunately, there is just no chance that the dog is going to get better.
None of us want to see our beloved pets suffer.  Often, it is truly the last act of kindness that we can do for them to not think of ourselves but let them go peacefully.  
I hope he will realize that and soon.  :-(