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One of two dogs dies, how to tell other one?

We have two dogs and one is quite sick.  There is a chance she will have to be put down in a couple weeks, although we are hoping she will get better.  The question I have is, since these two dogs have been companions for more than ten years, if we have to let one go, is there some way to let the other dog know what happened?  Normally when we lose a dog, we have them put down at the vet's office, and then bring them home and bury them in the yard.  But we have the two dogs now, and I'm worried if he'll wonder where his companion went.  If anyone else has had experience with this, I'd really like some feedback.

She has pancreatitis, I began a thread recently concerning that, and she spent this past week in the vet hospital getting nutrients only by I.V. and nothing by mouth, in an effort to rest the pancreas, and she's coming home this afternoon.  She may get well and have no more problems, or there's this chance she may go downhill again and the end will be near.  Anyhow, while she's been out of the house this workweek at the hospital, the other dog sensed we were emotional the first day, on account of we don't like her being away at the vet hospital, so he stayed close to us.  But he has adjusted to her not being here very well.  We're thinking if we eventually have to put her down, he will adjust again the same way.

But there is some doubt in my mind about that, if she's put down at the vet office, and then brought home to be buried, normally we would just bury her fairly quickly without bringing her into the house.  But we're wondering if we should let our other dog see that she has passed before we bury her.  We could even bring her up on the porch and let the other dog see that she's died.  We're also considering the idea of having the vet put her down here at the house, so the other dog can see what happens.  Those alternatives sound rather gruesome, compared to just not bothering the other dog with the whole thing.  But for anyone who has indoor pets and has observed how the other dogs do when one goes like that, we'd like to know your thoughts.  We are leaning towards the usual way of doing things, having her put down and bury her when we get home, and not expose our other dog to anything relating to her death.

I'm just not sure, so I would so appreciate feedback from anyone else who has gone thru this, who keeps two or more dogs as pets in the home and has had a similar experience with one dying.  How did the other dog do, not knowing?  Or did you let them know somehow?  Thank you guys SO much.  GG
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Avatar universal
I had 3 dogs and lost the sybling to one to Lyme's disease. And in our situation, yes, I think its best to let them see the deceased. I had taken her to ER for blood transfusion for last ditch effort. And sadly her kidneys had failed. Although, in my heart I was afraid she wouldn't return home. I didn't have much choice at that point because it was on a sunday..but I regret the fact my boys couldn't see her deceased. They mourn and search for her presence and smell. We chose cremation and we were grieving so much, I didn't even think of the others not being to say goodbye. Its been really hard for us all to the point my sibling boy has anxiety so bad that after a walk with excitability he started choking to the point he couldn't breathe. We've started giving him some benadryl to calm him at night plus its allergy season. So we have to try and calm him as much as possible. Hopefully in time his and our hearts will heal.
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Avatar universal
I had two 11 year old boy and girl min pins. They were only 4 months apart although not from the same litter. They were raised together like twins. About 3 weeks ago we lost out girl min pin, named Coco suddenly to a coyote attack right in our own backyard. It was such a shock to all of us. Coco and Cosmo were always together. As my husband placed Coco's bloody and lifeless body on a blanket, I let Cosmo see and smell his sister Coco before bringing Coco's body to the vet to be cremated. Cosmo cried and whined as he sniffed Coco's body. Two big tears rolled down his face from his eyes. Life surely has changed for all of us. Cosmo is very scared and timid now to go out side in our backyard as I'm sure he can sense fear and smell the coyote. He hasn't been himself since Coco died. Most mornings he throws up, hardly drinks water and eats on and off. I'm taking him to the vet for a check up. I know he misses Coco, just as much as we do.
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Avatar universal
Really good advice Ghilly . Thank you.
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Avatar universal
Pay extra attention to her and if a new companion is visable it certainly will help the loneliness A new companion should be approximately her same age opposite sex (of course neutered), with the same personality traits (a breed known to be compatible with your dog's breed). Just know how you would feel in her situation and the measures it may take to help you through. Dogs have feelings similar to a humans when death occurs, treat accordingly!
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12593762 tn?1426130168
That is very good advice ginger899.  We have had 3 dogs for the past 7-10 years. Blacky 11, Shadow 9, and Jacki 7.  Our 3 dogs were great companions and always went crazy if one went out without the others. Our hearts were broken on March 2, 2015 when Shadow (male Schipperkee) passed away.  He was sick for a couple of months, and towards the end just laying around and not eating. He would go outside the doggy door and lay by himself.  We finally took him to the vet and to our dismay, the vet said recovery for Shadow was very grim. We said goodbye and put him to sleep at the Vets. We came home without Shadow. The other dogs really didn't react. I don't know what they since, or what they think happened to Shadow. My husband and I came home sobbing and were crying for about 3 days and mourning the loss of our very special dog.  I am wondering what Blacky (male Schipperke) and Jacki (female Jack Russell) think happened. I am wondering if they both sensed Shadow being sick, and then us crying and know that Shadow is gone. The only reaction I've seen was the next day Jacki was sleeping on our bed. When I started to wake up she was shaking/trembling and then came and laid next to me as close as she could get.  This went on for about 10-15 minutes, and then stopped. Everything seems like it is back to normal, yet I feel bad that I can't explain to them what happened to Shadow. :(
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Avatar universal
I had to have a vet euthanize one of my two lovely 6 year old cattle dogs (Molly) on Tuesday 24/02 (both dogs sisters and always together). Went camping and one of my dogs picked up a paralysis tick, I thought I checked them over really well when we returned, however somehow missed this one. By the time I realised what was happening four days after returning, it was only a matter of minutes before she could not stand at all. Contacted the vet and he did all he could but unfortunately it was too late. feeling so much guilt and sadness, missing her terribly. Her sister Meg the more submissive of the two is also mourning and missing her terribly. I think she understands what has happened, and seems to be getting a bit of her spark back now. Giving Meg lots of love and attention, but also finding it difficult to deal with the loss myself. Time will heal, I need to focus on MEG now and remember the good times we had with her sister Molly. RIP my little darling!!!
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Avatar universal
I'm not sure what I feel this morning so I found this site and read the comments and thought I would share my thoughts and questions. I had two boxers last night I had to put the oldest down. Coco was 10 years old. She had been dealing with seizures for several months.Coco was on medication for the seizures. Last night she had a seizure that was not like any before. We ended taking her a Pet Vet emergency hospital. When we arrived they took Coco in and came and told us that her temperature. was up to 108* she had been in the seizure for about 2 hours. We had to travel to the hospital 40 miles away. We talked to the vet and decided that we would put Coco down. My wife and I had talked about this situation many times sense Coco was ill. It was very hard for me Coco was a Christmas present to me 10 years ago to the day. I'm feeling really guilty this morning missing her and her ****-eyed  looks back at me when we talked. I knew she understood everything I would say to her. My other boxer Lalla knew something was up with Coco before we did last light. Lalla licked Coco's face cleaned her all up then turned her back on my wife and I and sat very close to Coco before the seizure stated. I was happy to read about the what happens to the second dog. Lalla is 9 years old Coco has raised her from a pup when we brought her home. They are both spoiled and live the good life. Which was one factor that helped me make the decision to let Coco go. They both have had a wonderful life I took both of them with me everywhere. When I couldn't take the I put them in their kennel. That was very nice. Yet it still made me sad to have to put them in the kennel. Now to today I' am very saddened hoping I did the right thing. Lalla knows somethings awry. She has looked where she knew Coco would be if not by her side smelled the area where Coco had her seizure last night several times. Lalla's low key this morning she ate well and later we will go for a ride which they both loved. Both boxers are females. I will keep an close eye on Lalla and pay her a lot of more attention in the times ahead. Its kind of funny as I set here writing this comment I think back just 2 days ago and realize how many photos I took of Coco and Lalla at Christmas. Thank all of you for your comments. It help me deal with my loss :-(
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Avatar universal
I'm not sure what I feel this morning so I found this site and read the comments and thought I would share my thoughts and questions. I had two boxers last night I had to put the oldest down. Coco was 10 years old. She had been dealing with seizures for several months.Coco was on medication for the seizures. Last night she had a seizure that was not like any before. We ended taking her a Pet Vet emergency hospital. When we arrived they took Coco in and came and told us that her temperature. was up to 108* she had been in the seizure for about 2 hours. We had to travel to the hospital 40 miles away. We talked to the vet and decided that we would put Coco down. My wife and I had talked about this situation many times sense Coco was ill. It was very hard for me Coco was a Christmas present to me 10 years ago to the day. I'm feeling really guilty this morning missing her and her ****-eyed  looks back at me when we talked. I knew she understood everything I would say to her. My other boxer Lalla knew something was up with Coco before we did last light. Lalla licked Coco's face cleaned her all up then turned her back on my wife and I and sat very close to Coco before the seizure stated. I was happy to read about the what happens to the second dog. Lalla is 9 years old Coco has raised her from a pup when we brought her home. They are both spoiled and live the good life. Which was one factor that helped me make the decision to let Coco go. They both have had a wonderful life I took both of them with me everywhere. When I couldn't take the I put them in their kennel. That was very nice. Yet it still made me sad to have to put them in the kennel. Now to today I' am very saddened hoping I did the right thing. Lalla knows somethings awry. She has looked where she knew Coco would be if not by her side smelled the area where Coco had her seizure last night several times. Lalla's low key this morning she ate well and later we will go for a ride which they both loved. Both boxers are females. I will keep an close eye on Lalla and pay her a lot of more attention in the times ahead. Its kind of funny as I set here writing this comment I think back just 2 days ago and realize how many photos I took of Coco and Lalla at Christmas. Thank all of you for your comments. It help me deal with my loss :-(
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675347 tn?1365460645
COMMUNITY LEADER
I agree with lindapalm. Dogs will sometimes grieve very deeply. My Misty's 'best friend' who was a neighbour's dog, grieved deeply for her when she passed. I was afraid he wouldn't make it. It took him about a month to slowly come out of his acute grieving phase.

I was grieving hard too of course, but every day went to see him, and tried to distract him by doing the things he loved best. In his case it was chasing sticks about a field, and me giving him affection.
It can be hard to do those things when you are also grieving deeply, but restoring their normal life and day-to-day activities which they used to get pleasure out of -is a good thing to do. Car rides, meeting other people and other dogs etc, walks, favourite places.....
This helps to lift up their spirits.
I hope something will work.

I am very very sorry for your loss only recently.
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Avatar universal
Instead of adopting another dog right now, which you said didn't feel right, would it help Sophie if you got her out of the house a lot, take her for rides, visiting, etc.?  
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Avatar universal
I saw what has happened with you, and I wanted to share, The mother of our dog Sophie, who is 11 years old. Passed away on Dec. 8th, Sophie lost her brother Mario almost three years ago, but she always had her rock, her mother Sarah. who was 12 years 8 months an 8 days old miniature Schnauzers.  Sophie was in the home for the intire time of her mothers illness, even our two cats knew what was happening they all came to her sunday the 7th an said there goodbyes.

We me an my husband took Sophie with us On the morning of the 8th an I picked her up an said Sophie say goodbye to your mommy an she put her paw on her face, an then of course she was gone.

Not just my husband an I are so depressed , we actually cremated Sarah an got a clay paw print. The issue is that our little Sophie has not snapped back she is super depressed not herself I had to take her into the vet as well to check for the same issue as her mom, any ways its very very very sad and hard on them. She stays upstairs a lot I have to go up an get her an get her to come sit with me downstairs.

I was actually an the aspca an going to adopt a dog for her today older one but it just didn't feel right. I believe the dogs know, but it is a good thing to let the other say goodbye.

all to sad my heart is broken now not just with the loss of Sarah but for Sophie an I don't know what to do . Take care I am there with you same boat horrible....I am afraid Sophie will die of a broken heart.
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Avatar universal
I think this is right.  i am currently going through this.  I lost one of my fellows on 2nd Nov.  His daughter is with us.  There has never been a time when this girl was alone and now to be all by herself is having an impact on her. We did not bring him home after he was euthanised, but buried him in a pet burial ground. this girl knows that he was suffering, but probably doesn't know that he is no more.  She has been seeing us cry all day.  She has become very quiet, doesn't respond when we call.  

We then have started taking her for frequent walks, talk more to her.  We don't take the other guy's name as she becomes alert and starts looking for him. We cook what she likes to eat.  But the girl just curls herself up and sits in the corners or under the cot.  Its hard to see her go through all this and not being able to vent it out.  I just pray that she comes out of it soon.

But yes, giving them the extra attention, playing with them, taking them to the park are some of things that we could do to ease their pain.
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Avatar universal
I have 2 miniature schnauzers and when my husband passed away, they were 6 years-old.  I took them both to the funeral home to view their daddy. Most funerals homes will allow you to do this.  Before we went they were depressed, lathargic and wandered around aimlessly.  Afterward they were so at peace and went into full-blown taking care of mama mode.  They took on the roles of alpha dogs.  Now they are 14 years-old and recently, July 14th, one of them died.  Max, the surviving schnauzer is completely lost (he is also 98 years-old and has his own health issues) so I have to factor that in.  For 3 days he laid in his brother's bed and ate out of his bowl.  He was very clingy to me and whined a lot. He never lost his appetite.  It's been 1 week now and Max is starting to be a dog again.  Today he even picked up a toy and wanted to play.  (only for about 3 minutes LOL)  The only advice I have is to love, love, love your dog. And don't be afraid to talk about the deceased dog.  I ask Max all the time, "Where's Raleigh? Where's your brother?"  He looks around and then looks at me for reassurance.  I tell him he's okay and Raleigh had to go somewhere.  I'm so blessed that he is comimg around...I was worried I would have to put him down...just give your surviving angel love and time...
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Avatar universal
I have two dogs still in good health but worry about this exact problem, If one dies should I show the body to the remaining dog? I have a friend at work who had their dog put to sleep at home and the vet suggested they let the other dog come in after to see the body so they could understand. It is a traumatic time for the whole family when your well loved friend dies and my concern with my dogs is that they are litter brothers and Im not sure they would cope if ones of them dies. I have found the posts on this forum helful and my thoughts go out to anyone going though this very upsetting time.
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Avatar universal
I need your help with my dogs can i have your email please, or can you tell me how to deal with my depressed dog after losing the elder one
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Avatar universal
I need your help with my dogs can i have your email please, or can you tell me how to deal with my depressed dog after losing the elder one
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Avatar universal
I need your help with my dogs can i have your email please, or can you tell me how to deal with my depressed dog after losing the elder one
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612551 tn?1450022175
As already noted two replies above, a new post would get more attention and even more focused help if the subject line points to the specific issue:  Re-homing a dog of 10 yr.  Here I assume "Re-homing" carries the right snapshot issue.  If you make such a post I think it would be fine to simply cut-and-past you replay above.

You raise a complex subject but one I suspect is all too common/normal.  There may be some experience out here in blog-land that will help put your mind at rest.  From my knowledge of dogs I think you situation is one that  will hit the surviving dog real hard - and from the one experience I've had with a chocolate late lab, they are big loving babies, more so that a black lab, say.  The chocolate  really needs attention.
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Avatar universal
I also have two chocolate labs aged 13 and 10.  Saffy my 13 year old is quite sick now and I know she won't have much longer but I'm worrying more about Boo, her younger sister who will be left alone.  I've had both dogs since the children were young and now I'm divorced and my children are both working full time as am I.  I have a dog walker come in everyday to walk them and once exercised they both sleep well and are relatively  happy.  They receive lots of fuss from us in the evenings when we're home but I'm concerned about Boo when Saffy goes.  She's a busy, active dog and I'm so worried that she won't cope well with being left on her own once Saffy goes.  I've thought about rehoming her so she can have companionship either with another dog or amongst a younger family again.  I have to work full time, which I didn't when I first had the dogs so I'm unable to spend as much time with her as I'd really like to. I've thought about getting another dog for her but feel it would be unfair if we're all out at work.  When I chose to have the dogs initially I was married with 2 small children and working from home.  Sadly, life throws things at you and now I'm divorced and both children are older and not at home so often.  Together the dogs are happy but I'm worried how Boo will cope on her own.
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Avatar universal
You give them your heart and soul and they give you all their love and devotion and ask for nothing in return.  We have a 13 yr old chocolate lab that has been diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the nose. He is still happy to eat (what lab isn't) and still has a little gallop left in him when you tell him it's cookie time. His buddy is an 8 year old lab and she is the mother of the house. She has started acting very sad, laying outside and not wanting to come back in the house. She is craving attention big time and I seriously think she knows what is going on. They are all just so smart. We are just waiting until we feel our guy is starting to struggle too much to continue. I am not planning on taking our girl to the vet with us when the time comes but am concerned as she always looks after her buddy and it is going to be devistating to all of us. I feel for all of you going through or having gone through similar situations. We all know when we get in to these relationships that these members of our families will go before us but it doesn't make it any easier to cope.
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675347 tn?1365460645
COMMUNITY LEADER
PLEASE NOTE: If you have a similar problem with your dog, please start a new post. It will get a LOT more attention.

To post a question: Go to the top of this page, and click on the orange button on the left where it says "Post a Question". Then simply add a title for your question, and underneath, describe the problem (in as much detail as you like). Add "tags" if you wish, using main keywords in what you have written (but you don't have to)  If you wish to add a photo, click on "Add Photo", just underneath the "Tags" section.Then scroll down a little, and click on the green button where it says "post a Question". And your question will be displayed immediately on the Dogs Community page.
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Avatar universal
put my 14 yr. old maltese down last night due to cancer and she deterriated swiftly,my other maltese navada is heartbroken as i am and i cant stop crying remembering all the yrs we spent together navada came to us 10 yrs ago and was very close to sam and i know i must be upbeat but i also know she is as hurt as i and missing her presence i never used to walk my girls except occasionaly but will now walk nevada to try and distract her from her loss and maybe this will help me grieve as well. god i loved sam and am terrified at losing her sister due to depression thia would drive me over an already deep presipice. thanks for all advice and i wish it was me who passed and not my beloved sam,i shall forever remember how when the needlle was injected her eyes immeditely lost the shine and i knew it was over but this did not make it any easier to take i asked the vet to please close her little eyes and they removed her from the room to do so and returned her to me for some quiet time she will be cremated and her remains returned to me to cherish for all time god bless her and all pet owners please love your little pets with all your heart for when the time comes you know in your heart your friend knows you love her/him
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Avatar universal
Occasionally more serious reactions including severe depression hemorrhagic diarrhea collapse hypoadrenocortical crisis or adrenal necrosis/rupture may occur and may result in death.
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http://www.allvetmed.com/SearchResults.asp?Search=Vetoryl
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Avatar universal
Hi there, Im baulling my eyes out right now.  I have 15mth old staffy x and another puppy 6mths old (different breed).  My husband and i have made a decision to put the staffy down as he is extremelly agressive and attacks other dogs all the time for no reason.  We have done so much training and everything you can think of so we are sooo worried about the other one being distressed.  Do I take him to the vet when the other one gets put down?  Cant stop crying right now - its breaking my heart!
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