Putting my doggie to sleep!

[red_arrows]

My little Border Collie who was diagnosed with cancer last month got so bad this morning that we took him to the vet and they put my little doggies to sleep.
He got so bad that he soiled himself and couldln't walk to his food or eat!
We took him to get put down to be kind although it feels like i murdered him :(
I miss him so much, he was a beautiful loyal dog and i love him :)

[AHP84]

Oh, I am so sorry! I feel your pain on a very personal level--I had to euthanize my border collie recently. June 18th. His name was Eric, and he had cerebellar atrophy (degenerative brain damage). He was 2 years old.
I too am still struggling to this day with his loss. I feel like I killed him, that maybe it wasn't his time to go, because he was mentally healthy, but he could barely walk or keep his balance his falls were getting harder and harder on him. But it took three shots before he died, which made me feel awful, especailly when the vet said, "He's a fighter, isn't he?". His death was peaceful, but he didn't let go easily. I still get an upset stomach thinking about it. I still cry for him.
I know there's not much anyone can say or do to make the grief go away. It's always nice to hear that you gave him a good life full of love, and to focus on the good memories, but it's so hard to erase those last images of his life and the feelings you had during that time.
There will come a time, an event, in the future that gives you the peace you need about his death. It may be a dream, it may be a perfect comment from someone to help you understand and cope, it may be a new life...it could be anything.
My peace for Eric's death came before I expected it in the form of a new life. I adopted a dog over the weekend, a border collie/golden retriever mix, and his personality is almost identicle to Eric's. In a way, I feel like my new dog, Bryce, is Eric's final example of love to me in his death, because it seems like I have a small piece of him back in Bryce.
Ten years ago, I received peace in the event of the deaths of three dogs in two weeks. One dog, a westie named McGee that I grew up with, reached the end of his life and had to be put down from old age. Then two weeks later, two border collies I had died together in a very tragic, freak accident. When that happened, life didn't even seem real to me; I couldn't even function for a day for lack of sleep and so much crying. When I finally did fall asleep, I had a dream. McGee was sitting in our front yard, and I ran to him and held him so close, so tight, sobbed into his fur and said, "Jack and Scamp died. They died. I don't know what to do."
He looked up at me and said, "Don't worry. Jack and Scamp are okay. They're with me now and we're all okay."
Then I woke up. That was the ultimate peace I needed for the death of any and all of my pets, because I know that they're able to get to heaven and there is no more pain for them anymore.
As much as the grief of the loss still hurts, there is hope, and peace will come to you in some form. I pray you will have peace about your dog's death. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Jaybay]

I'm so sorry.  I absolutely understand how torn you feel right now.  Consciously, you know you're doing a kindness.  Subconsciously, you feel like a murderer.  It always takes time for the excess emotion to drain a bit before I truly feel in my heart that it was the right and good thing to do.

You obviously loved your friend, and that love brings with it responsibilities that aren't always easy.  You did a beautiful and loving thing by ending his suffering and indignity.  Never forget that.  :-)

[chihuahuagrandma]

I am so terribly sorry for you....its so hard to do the right thing and feel good afterwards..
but, I just want recomfirm w/you, it takes a loving, compasionate, and dear pet owner to have the heart to love your pet to ease the suffering, as what you had to do...you now, have your bright and shining star in the name of your pet who star will shine ever so bright tonight in the dark skies, and gaurd the gates of heaven, running and playing....
I will look tonight to see your light.....it hurts, and it hurts for awhile...
Remember this, you did the best you could with what you had, and your dog knew your love!!!! It is not murder, its compasionate w/love....you will miss him terribly, and I know you loved him and he loved you,,,,and, maybe one day when the healing starts you can give the love you had for him to another deserving pet...
I wish you peace, each person heals in their own time and way!!
A hug for you from me...