emotional support

[ziggystardust]

When do you know when to let go. I have posted a couple of times with no responses. My beloved ginger who I found 9 years ago sitting on the steps of my hospital  and has been my faithful companion and also her other dog buddies has been diagnosed with chronic renal failure in May 09. I have tried everything to slow the progression of her disease from acupuncture to traditional medicine and have tried every food on earth including dog ice cream to colostrum to baby food to raw . you name it. The past week she was only taking small bites of treats and not even this now despite being on appetite stimulants and anti nausea medication. She is skin and bones. She receives sub q intravenous fluids each night. Although she appears to enjoy lying outside she is no longer interacting with her other pals,Her bark is weak and she is lethargic.When do you know when to let them go.It is agonizing and heart breaking. They say the focus is quality of life and yes she still like to be pet and hugged by us and go outside but she is not eating for two days and she is irritable with the other dogs. Her head is also tremulous.I am open to any advise or emotional support. with my otehr dogs it was so clear when to let them go

[TwoBitsMom]

Hey Gary....
Those are nice pictures. Abby must have loved those days she spent hunting with you....And Sparky is no doubt looking forward to many more happy hunting days ahead...!  What Lucky Dogs....!  They share their life with someone who loves them.  
Gary, I hope you and Sparky have a wonderful Christmas and get a gift of a very long and happy life together, and when you give Sparky a hug, give her one for Abby too....I'm sure she won't mind.
Connie

[abbydawn]

"You can post pictures here....( I would love to see a picture of Abby and Sparky )"

Done!

[TwoBitsMom]

Hi Gary...!

What a wonderful update..!  I am so happy for both you and Sparky. It is really great that you adopted an older dog, and what a very lucky dog she will be. She will be such a wonderful companion and comfort for you. You know, people who love dogs....Should have dogs. She has certainly found a good home with you.
Yes, Abby will ALWAYS be in your heart...Every dog you own will have it's own special place in your heart. Good thing you have such a big heart..!!!
Gary, I have never heard of a Toller dog. I will have to look it up on the net.
You can post pictures here....( I would love to see a picture of Abby and Sparky ) I have a few photos of my dogs on my home page. Click on my name, it should take you to my page, and you can check the pictures out.

Congratulations on the adoption of your newest family member...!!
I wish all the best to you and Sparky, I am sure you will have a close bond with her.

Merry Christmas Gary,
Hugs to you and Sparky...And "Happy Trails"...Abby walks with you both.
Connie

[abbydawn]

Hello Connie, been a while. A lot has taken place and time heals. I had planned to get another dog in the spring and had decided to look in to the pros and cons of a Toller. On a visit to Eastern Ontario I did just that. I told the breeder that I would prefer one in the 5,6,7 age range and would he have anything like that in the spring. As it turned out he had a 6 year old and was about to find a good home for her. He wouldn't let me take her home right away, had to go back home and answer a lonnnggg questionaire before approval. Sparky had had three litters, was spayed, and had been raised on a raw diet. I went back a week later and Sparky and I are now forever bound. I am maintaining the raw diet. Wish I could post a pic here but guess not possible.
Although Sparky is the beginning of a new day Abby will always be a place in my heart. I feel that as Sparky and I travel the same trails as Abby and I did for so many years, sniff sniff.

Gary and Sparky  

[TwoBitsMom]

Hi Gary...

I am sure it must have been very difficult for you to bring Abby's ashes home. I have been wondering how you have been doing. Please accept a heartfelt hug from me.  Kara sounds like a very compassionate person, it was nice to read that she consoled you, and if you need to talk to her, don't hesitate to do so.  You can also express yourself here....I really do understand your loss.
You love Abby so much, she is part of your family..and she has been such a huge part of your life. I know how much you miss her.

I do like the idea of putting some ashes into a piece of jewelery. I have little swatches of hair from my dogs, and have thought about doing the same. I will definitely check out the website you mentioned.

Gary, you will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
Cyber Hugs to you...
Connie

[abbydawn]

I picked up Abby's ashes on Friday last just two weeks from her passing. It was a difficult and emotional time. I was hugged and consoled by Kara a veterinary technician who assured me I did the right thing. She told me to drop back any time and talk if I felt the need.

LoveMyBostons, I was made aware of jewelery items available by the Brittany Spaniel club here in Ontario. A rainbow bridge bracelet caught my eye. Here is the website:
http://www.threescoopsofvanilla.com/products.html

[LoveMyBostons]

I'd like to add that there is jewlery out there that you can add your loved one's ashes to. I purchased some items from perfectmemorials.com when my dog Petie passed. I got myself a beautiful necklace and a keychain for my Dad (Petie was his little buddy also). I got both items engraved and now my Dad & I can carry Petie around with us wherever we go.

[TwoBitsMom]

One more thing...I'm glad you asked for her ashes...That's the way I would do it, if I ever need too.

[TwoBitsMom]

No, I'm sorry Gary...I don't have any experience with dog's ashes.
I live in the country, and I have always buried my dogs on my property.
I know that my Mother has one of her dogs ashes. She wants us to bury them with her.
When my Dad died 2 years ago, he was cremated. Mom said she felt very comforted to have Dad's ashes in the house. Dad died in the winter, and Mom had decided to have a service for him in the spring...and bury his ashes then.
But when the day came for the service, Mom did not want to get rid of Dad's ashes....She really wanted to keep them, because they were so comforting for her. My sister talked her into burying them....but for Mom, it was like losing Dad all over again.
I know it will be hard for you to pick up Abby's Ashes, but I think it will be hard for you no matter when you do it. I also think, the longer you put it off, the longer you will have to think about it.
Gary...you could post your concerns about this, as a New Question.
More forum members will see it, and I am sure others will be willing to share their experiences with you. I wish I could be of more help....My heart aches for you....I know how much you are missing her.
Connie

[abbydawn]

The vet called me today to say Abby's ashes had come in. I'm going to delay bringing them home a while as that could be a setback in my healing. Maybe I'll find I shouldn't have asked for her ashes. Any experience in  keeping the ashes Connie?  

[TwoBitsMom]

Hi Gary...
Yes, " If Love could have saved her, she would have lived forever."  That is a beautiful thought, and so very true. Something I have read, that helped me, was....Euthanasia is not something we do TO our dogs, it is something we do FOR them.

Abby was in your life for 15 years...what a big part of your life she shared.
My Twobits was also 15 years old, she was euthanized 1 year ago.
I sure do miss her, and I always will.  Our dogs are part of our family....they really are. It sure hurts when they are gone.
I am so glad I have my others dogs....they are such a comfort for me.
Yes...the rewards of having dogs in our lives, does far outweigh any grief or guilt we feel when they are gone.
People who love dogs, should have dogs....there are so many wonderful dogs in this world who need someone just like you. Your next dog will certainly be lucky to have you.

Gary, don't hesitate to express yourself here...we are all dog lovers, and we understand and share your feelings.
So many of us have been where you are now.

Thinking of you during this difficult time....
Connie

[abbydawn]

Thank you, your kind words are reasuring that I'm experiencing normal feelings and that Abby is running free again.
Someone sent me this, "If love could have saved her she would have lived forever", so true.

I'm positive I'll have and love another Brittany for the rewards far outweigh the grief and guilt I'm feeling right now.

Gary  

[Margot49]

Oh, so sorry to read this.  Never an easy path to go down.  
I think we all question ourselves when we make these difficult decisions.  You need to go through the grieving process and realize your decision was the right one.  As hard as it is, I will say again, this often the last act of love and kindness we can do for our beloved companions.
Been down this path too many times and still mourn the losses but I have many happy memories and you will too.
Please look up The Rainbow Bridge poem.  It always gives me comfort.
Hugs to you and I know Abby is running free.

[TwoBitsMom]

Gary....
I am so very sorry to read about Abby. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.
What you wrote about her is a beautiful tribute to her and a testimony of your love. I can tell you and Abby were very devoted to each other.
You must have given Abby a wonderful life, and taken such good care of her. 15 years is remarkable. What a lucky dog to live her life with someone who loves her so much.
I do understand your grief and guilt. And yes, it is normal. As difficult as it is for you now, it will get easier. In your heart, you must have known you were doing the right thing, or you never would have done it.
You only always wanted to do what was best for her.
God Bless Abby's Beautiful Spirit and Soul...she is much loved.
Connie

[abbydawn]

Abby - AUG 17 1997 to SEP 28 2012

A friend of mine told me it will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, on Sep 28 I had to. Abby had reached the point of very poor mobility, incontinence and loss of weight even though she ate as voraciously as ever. A longer life span than the average Brittany she got to do what she was bred to do and did it well. As a hunting companion as well as a family pet she exceeded on both terms. I'll never forget her unending devotion and will miss her always.

The firrst few days I felt extreme grief from seeing her take that last breath and now I'm feeling guilty. Is this all normal?

[MinPinLover1125]

My baby Dutchess, who will 15 this Thanksgiving, has been with me since she took her first breath.  She is dying of kidney failure.  I can tell she is getting close, as she is refusing to eat, and just sleeping, and just two days ago started hiding under the bed.  I too look into her eyes every day to see if she is ready to go - she is not.  Having had many dogs (MinPins - like my baby Dutchess) it is clear when they are ready to go.  If you are as in-tuned to your dog - or cat - or horse - or whatever - as all of you obviously are - you will just know when it's time.  It's hard to say "I'm going to take you to the vet today and end your life."  But it's harder to say, "I'm going to keep you here with me because 'I' can't live without you, regardless of how much you are suffering."  Having gone through the 2-year process of my mother dying of cancer, I know without a doubt that the soul will reach out to you and tap you on your shoulder when your sitting quiet, and tell you that it's okay.  The pain stops, and they are at peace.  Just trust your heart.  Love to you all.  

[ginger899]

This site looks good. It gives you a lot of info. about homeopathic care for dogs. There is an option to ask the Holistic vet questions, and this did sound like a good service offered (but it is based on paid subscription) However, it didn't sound too expensive at 2 options I could make out: one option was $7.75 and the other $9.95

http://www.organic-pet-digest.com/homeopathy-for-dog.html

[ziggystardust]

Thank you fpr all your feedback and support and I am sending my love and prayers out there to all of you. Does anyone know of a specific on line group which is for chronic renal failure in dogs that is more medically based. I know there is a few doctors on this blog. I have specific questions to ask such as my dog was just started on remeron as a last attempt since prednisone and megace failed to stimulate her appetite and what time should this medication be administered. My vet states another one of the vets uses it in cats but there has been some research that it has been very helpful with dogs. she is also on compazine and cernenia. At one point I had found a great site for homeopathic and holistic information for animal owners with the name earth in it but stupidly did not write it down and can not find it. Today she would not even eat her flounder she loves but was outside barking at people and sniffing the air with a contented look on her face.

[Punchy2007]

Hi, I cried so hard as I was readying your post.  I lost my baby girl (Coqueta "aka" Cookie) May 20, 2008.  She had CHF.  WHen she was first diagnose with it, she was given six mons to a year.  She only made it for six mons.  Everyone told me to put her down but in my heart I never believed that I had the right to take her life.  I did everything possible to keep her comfortable.  I went through whole nights with out sleep.  I don't regret every moment that I spend with her, nights without sleep.  They where all worth it.  I know a lot people will tell you it is inhuman to keep her like this but only God knows your pain and hers.  

One day at night I felt like she was getting ready to say good bye so I took her to the vet the next morning.  He told me she was fine.  She didn't look fine.  Well I got home and I prayed for her and I asked God, if she is suffering please give me the strength to let her go and take her pain away.  With in an hour, Cookie passed to be with Lord.  Trust me, it was the one of the hardest moment in my life.  I just know that she is no longer in pain but God made that decisioin to take her, not me. I can't say it'sbeen easy without her but I know she gave me love until the very last and like wise, I gave her my whole heart.

I am so sorry for sharing my story but I hope it helps you in some way.  I pray that God helps you and Ginger in this tough moments.  GOd bless you both.

My Prayers are with you.

Dalila

[ziggystardust]

Thank you for responding to my pevious outreach. My question is that even with the cernia compazine and prednisone my ginger is on to prevent nausea and increase appetite there has not been much improvement noted and she has lost 7 pounds in over one month. at night she has tremors although this is not noted during the day, The other day I noticed that she was slightly imbalance losing her footing a little although she has nt fallen while walking and continues to walk around the yard to visit the family next door and take treats from them even though she is refusing fresh cooked steak and chicken from me along with all the other foods people entice dogs with renal failure on.Today to see the vet she was barking at proplee at the window and still is wagging her tail and following my husband around the house. Last night she wanted his pizza and sometimes when I buy freid flounder whe also eats this. Do you think these tremors are a side effect of the medications or general deterioration  in health. Her phosphorous and bun are now elevated although her vets state he has seen other dogs with three times the values walking around and fairly comfortable. We are going to try remeron on her as i researched it is used for nausea and appetite stimulant but Im wondering if I should just eventually take her off all this stuff and try homeopathic remedies with no side effects. I was reading about one that has burdock root and also dandelion in it. Currently I also give her colostroum and a digestive enzyme for dogs prior and with her meals along with a phosphate binder and sub q fluids daily plus acupuncture. I know that when she starts t loose her quality of life I will need to help end her journey from this world and over the rainbow bridge. Until then I want to do everything I can do to make her comfortable and possibly extend her life. Please give me your opinions on alternative medication and any other tips you can share especially with a natural appetite stimulant or maybe there is some food i am missing to entice her. Sorry for the long winded post but my dog is my everything. Her name is ginger and I was blesed with finding her a stray 9 years ago and her estimated age is 12

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

i lost my sweet baby boy last year, he let me know he was ready by the way he acted that day and the things he did,

would not take the pills the dr gave us to give him, he loved the pill pockets and would always take them, if not for me always for my hubby. but that day he clinched his teeth together and refused another pill.

took to vet that afternoon, he hated going to the back rooms always tried to get back out fron door , not that day he walked towards the back and stoped and looked like ok its time, am ready to be at peace no pain and will be able to breath again. he was 17 my little man very spoiled and so loved

they say they will tell you , he did , he knew and when i looked at him i knew. i was not going let him go another min trying to breath and suffer so i did what was right for him, i love him so much and to this day i cry. i know have another one shes  my girl, could not get another boy or a black/white one  because i loved him so much.

hang in there , but plz dont wait to long, i know youo want shes your baby and you will do the right thing to. God Bless you .

[ziggystardust]

currently my  dog ginger is on cernia for nausea and compazine plus prednisone. i noticed that she has increased tremors especially at night and am wondering if anyone else out there has seen this as a side effect with any of these medciations when treating their dogs with chronic renal failure

[ziggystardust]

It is such a roller coaster ride and not a happy one at that. On Friday Sat and sunday ginger had three great days, Her appetite was good and she was relaxed and enjoying  being outside just sniffing the aire and barking at people. Then yesterday she did not want to eat again, She took a few lousy pieces of liver and treats and even refused her favorite flounder which she always scoffs up. When I came home last night she was trembling. Sh e continues to try and go eat grass outside.She paces when I try to give her food and she runs away after taking a few meager bites, yesterday she had her regular dosesages of prednisone compazine and cernenia plus her daily iv fluids. I dont see her trebling today but she is not eating and acting as if food makes her nauseated, Her breath is not uremic,  I also have been given her lypodium and nux vomica homeopathic pellets.
Can anyone suggest any natural alterrnatives for appetite and also nausea. and indigestion. since dogs try to eat grass when they have an upset stomache should I try to make a spearmint or mint water to give her. Im desperate to help my baby girl . Right now she is resting comfortably next to me while i seek help. please excuse misspellings as Im just so devistated. Should I continue to give her syringe feedings of baby food until her stomache feels a little better. is there something natural to give her to calm her. love and peace  robin and ginger

[pinky_93]

I know what you are going through.  I too am going through this with my 16 yr. old dog.  She too started vomiting on July 28th and I rushed her to the hospital.  She was diagnoised with renal failure.  The doctors have started her on a 3 day IV treatment which will end tomorrow.  They will retest her blood to see if her kidneys are responding.  My dog has not eatten since Thursday and is on nausea meds and does not want to eat.  

I too am struggling along with you as to what to do.  The doctor said to put her down, but when she looks at me I feel like it's not time.  She cries when I leave the room and I really want to bring her home tomorrow.  Her spirit is still there as well as the love.  

Has your dog had any blood clots in her urine?  The nurse said that it is from the kidney?

We both are on the same renal failure timeline with our loved ones...I too struggle with knowing if it's best to put her down.  I have never done this before but don't want my dog to suffer as well.  When she cries, it's a cry of lonliness when I leave rather than a cry from renal pain.  

I too am at the same crossroad as you.  But I think my dog will decide for me soon.
Best of luck as you journey with your loved one.  It's a difficult road to travel.